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Posts posted by lailasmum

  1. I mostly avoid soy products because so many of them are high fodmap which give me stomach issues.  I also tend not to like the way they taste.  I've generally not found any milk alternatives that taste pleasant which is annoying since I'm also lactose intolerant. 

  2. 4 hours ago, OKBud said:


    Would love to hear specific ideas and instances of this! Please ? 

    Humour seems to work but we are a family with a lot of silly phrases that I can throw into situations to flip the mood. He was super angry emotional the other day over something and I managed to use humour to diffuse it. After he said that he wanted to be angry with me but I'd made him laugh so he couldn't be. It's much easier to regroup and move on.

  3. This is all so useful. My 10 yr old has been pretty challenging the last year (he's nearly 11) and my 14 yr old dd was so mellow through those years it was a shock to the system to have a kid so much more hormonal and clearly changing. I get so many flat no responses to asking him to do things, so much pushback in general and he is very oblivious to everyone but him. On top of his lack of attention span and impulsivity that have always been present he's a handful. Though on the positive side he's much better socially than he ever has been and finally able to successfully take part in group activities rather than disrupting them. 

    One of the things a friend with a kid the same age and I have been talking about is realising that we need to give them ample opportunities to de-escalate the situations they get themselves into rather than get too caught up in the behaviour. It almost feels like they are trying stuff on for size and when it goes wrong don't know how to deal with it. 

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  4. In in the UK. The big supermarkets get Christmas stuff in from about the beginning of November.  I live in a small rural town and the local shops vary a lot. Usually, they don't actually decorate their premises until December though. Street decorations turn on in my town on the first Friday in December. There's a Victorian evening that has a light turn on, community tree decorating competition etc.  The huge shopping centres in big cities will be really early though, they exploit it as much as possible. 

  5. I generally enjoyed all the jobs I had related to running events/performances. I prefer workplaces with constant change and love the organisation side of it so for me it was a lot of fun. I definitely struggled with other people in some types of events, people in the arts can be tricky to please and there was often a lot of negativity which did eventually wear me down.  It's a challenging area on your body though. Long hours and not much respect for illness or other responsibilities so people work until they drop. 

  6. I use a diffuser and essential oils. I find there's just a couple of oils and combinations I like so I tend to stick with these but I love how easy it is. Another option is to buy some of the really strongly scented orchids. There are a few that will fill a room with scent to the point they cause headaches in some people and they last a few weeks in flower usually. I've got a few with amazing scent.

  7. 18 hours ago, Mainer said:


    Me too!  This sero-negative stuff is really interesting to me. I've had joint pain in my wrists and fingers for over a decade, but no test results have ever been positive. The pain flares up and down sporadically, and only a few times has it been truly bad - maybe 3 times over 10 years? Those times it was challenging to write, type, hold things. Most of the time it's mildly apparent at most. X-rays over the years have shown nothing, too. I was strictly gluten-free for about 7 years, and it didn't seem to have any effect... although, who knows, maybe it prevented some damage!

    I hope you find something that works for you!

    You might find it worth looking up Palindromic Rheumatism. It definitely seems to be a bit of a catch-all for people who don't fit neatly into RA or other things and so far some of the people I've talked to who have been diagnosed with it have gone on to get re-diagnosed with RA or other autoimmune things after a few years, but it does also seem to fit a big group of people with different joint issues that come and go and are just a bit different than RA, tests don't show anything etc. Does seem like it's not known if it's early stages of other things or distinctly its own diagnosis.  

    • Like 1
  8. This is all really interesting to me. I've had joint issues for years that don't seem to get any clear diagnosis just arthritis. All my tests come back normal. I've just come across Palindromic Rheumatism and that seems to fit my symptoms. I've tried cutting out things and nothing seems to help my joints all though it helps other things. I've discovered I do have some food intolerances just nothing as clear-cut as no gluten or no dairy etc. 

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  9. My youngest got given one of those ridable stuffed horses too. She found it so terrifying it spent most of its life in our utility room or in the attic before I finally gave it away. We've had a few other terrifying stuffed animals. It seems to be the eyes and how they look in the dark that edges them into the terrifying category. Luckily no filthy or obviously creepy/inappropriate toys. I know I received a rag doll from a relative when I was a young teenager and it was really suitable for an under 7yr old but I think that was her losing track of how old we were. 

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  10. They're common here in the UK to the point that they're causing issues on beaches where there are so many of them it's an eyesore.  There's one beach we go to that always has a corner of these stacks. People are being encouraged to take them down after they build them so they don't spoil the natural environment. Part of the countryside code leave no trace idea essentially.

  11. You could try the SEO for Dummies book, it's decent for beginners. Then try youtube tutorials though I agree that even the beginner ones assume some level of knowledge and go so fast. The underlying idea with SEO doesn't really change but the approaches used change quite fast which makes for loads of tutorials and articles about whatever the latest tactic is. It's also very tied up in really fundamental things about how you build your website and write the content for pages, it's not just about keywords so it does take a bit of time to even get a basic understanding of. 

  12. I love my Huawei P10. Would definitely recommend it. It has 64GB storage. The camera is extremely good.  They do some lite versions too that are cheaper and worth looking into. It's decently high spec without being too ridiculous price wise. Not found any feature missing yet. The battery life is decent too. Finding cases can be challenging but that the only negative I've found in the 10 months I've had it.

  13. I tend to buy them at around 8 yrs old and keep them until they fall apart. If I had more money to spend I'd likely buy something a couple of years old and keep it until it fell apart. I've had most of my cars until they are around 14 or 15 yrs old and develop major problems. Luckily I've not had to give up on younger cars because of massive bills, it's always felt like I got good value out of them. 

  14. We are all over the place. It's either just a couple of miles a day if I stay in town which is most of the time. Then a few times a month I leave town and it jumps to 40-80 because we are in a fairly rural area. It always feels like something is either 5 minutes away or an hour away with no in between. This past weekend I drove about 300miles but that's pretty unusual for me. 

  15. We had a cat that had that had a recurrent upper respiratory infection in his later years. The vet said it wasn't uncommon for them to return once they'd happened once but he'd always be a bit off and clingy until we realised what was going on (he wasn't overly friendly) then it responded to treatment well and went away fast.

  16. 10 hours ago, regentrude said:

    Maybe the British don't do soft cookies?

    I cannot recall ever having a soft cookie growing up in Germany; a proper cookie had to be crisp. It was only after I moved to the US that I encountered soft and chewy ones.

    We have both soft and hard/crisp ones. On the biscuit aisle in the supermarket most of the prepackaged cookies are hard to the point of being dry and crumbly but we also have cookies in the bakery section that are soft and a couple of pre packaged brands are soft. I always hated cookies until I started making them at home, dry crumbly biscuits are not my thing.

  17. 3 hours ago, Storygirl said:

    I have never heard of double cream.

    I have read a lot of British fiction, so I get the pudding and biscuit references. But cream confuses me. Double cream, clotted cream....I don't have a reference for these British things as an American. Having a couple of cream choices to go with a dessert is a strange concept!! Here we often use whipped cream, but it does not pour.

    Pioneer Woman has a recipe for apple crisp topped with a reduced heavy cream, which I have made (yum!), but I can't think of another dessert that has cream poured on it that I have eaten.

    The closest thing I can think of is that my grandfather used to like to put some milk on his slice of cake, which I thought was strange, and which I have never seen another person do in the forty years since.

    And the thought of pouring custard on a cake.... I can't picture it. American custard doesn't really pour and is quite thick. If we are saying British custard is like American pudding, pouring pudding over a cake would be strange. And gloppy! 

    When you say "a couple of cream choices," I really can't picture what that means.

    We do have frozen custard, which is similar to ice cream and would be a bonus with cake!!


    I've always had custard or cream as a topping on cake, steamed pudding or fruit. It's not uncommon to buy the heavier sponge cakes like ginger cake and add custard as a quick dessert. It makes quite a filling end to a meal and it's really tasty. You can buy or make custard thick or thin enough to pour it depends what you want it for. There are loads of cream options single, double, clotted (similar thickness to soft butter), whipping and flavoured types.

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  18. Pudding can be any kind of dessert, but a pudding is generally the kind steamed in a basin that can be savoury or sweet. Popular types are meat fillings in suet pastry like steak and kidney or sponge puddings like treacle or spotted dick. Christmas pudding is made like this too. Because they are made the same way they all have a similar bowl shape.I grew up eating a lot of puddings but don't tend to make them these days because they're kind of heavy.

  19. One friend who travels part of the year is a travel writer and does social media management. Other people I know of who manage it either do things like blogging/vlogging or they are virtual assistants or run IT businesses that don't require them to be in a specific location. One friend house sits, not full time but that seems a good option.

  20. I can't imagine ever wanting to marry again. I personally haven't experienced marriage as a particularly positive thing partly because of that disbalance in who carries the weight of responsibility in making life work so I wouldn't do it again. I'm also very introverted and have found being so closely entangled with someone really quite trying, I wouldn't choose to live out my life that attached to another human if I could make the choice again. 

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  21. The only aspects I've thought about is to eat well and not let any health issues slide. My mum has massively added to her mobility issues in her 70s by never addressing weight and nutrition issues that started at least 30 years ago. She tends to be quite stubborn in avoiding dealing with difficult situations. I guess trying to avoid being too fixed in thinking is another important area that I notice as well. I hope to remember that it's important to be flexible if other people might be caring for you. My mum's stubborn streak extends to not using things that could help her just because she doesn't want to admit she needs to. 

  22. I'm bored of the stress of it and having more stuff. We are doing one present for all of us that will replace something we already own and then stockings. I don't buy much for extended family so I'm taking the opportunity to keep it simple. 

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  23. I've definitely noticed that men seem to remarry much more quickly than women after being widowed or divorced. Most of the women I know either have no relationships at all or maybe after a while might date but not go to the extent of remarriage. One friend did have a partner who lived with her for a couple of years but the end of that relationship seemed more traumatic than her divorce and she hasn't been in a relationship since. My mum didn't have any intention of being with anyone else after my dad died when I was a teenager and it never crossed my mind that she would want to because she's so independent. Most guys I've known seem to remarry and try and rebuild a similar life to the one they had before the death or divorce. I used to know one guy who would get divorced and remarry and create a replacement family around every 5-8 yrs and it was definitely a shock to hear he'd done it once again.  I think guys have more of a drive to have a constant partner than women do, especially older women with kids. 

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