*LC
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Posts posted by *LC
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Thank you so much for reposting. Our heat had gone out yesterday, and I "thought" I had read your post yesterday morning while I was still hiding under the bedcovers trying to stay warm. When I went to reply last night, I couldn't find the post that I thought I had read. I had tossed and turned the night before in the cold, so I decided I must have dreamed about there being such a post.
You are right that some people are comfortable paying for Mercedes and some people would never pay for anything more than a Honda Civic. You have to decide what you are comfortable paying? Comfortable is probably too strong a word. As this time comes closer for my oldest, I am getting less comfortable at the total cost. However, I think college is worth so I am willing to pay -- just not comfortable paying.
My oldest hasn't had a great deal of interest in the college process either. I remember pouring over the college mail I received in high school; she doesn't open anything.. I know she does read some of the e-mails, because she laughs that the application deadlines have been extended numerous times at one school. Anyway, she has been on three college visits and to one high school subject specific day at a local college. Out of those, she liked one and decided to go there. Her reasons for not liking the others aren't "good" reasons, but she did not apply to the other schools. She only wanted to apply to the one school, but I made her fill out free applications to a number of other schools that have her intended major. She has been accepted with merit scholarships at all of them. Actually, she hasn't heard from one, but I think they notify much later.
I personally didn't give her a choice about visiting. I feel this is where parents get to make the decision.
We visited one school while on vacation, and it wasn't a good fit. The other two I planned a trip to vsit over the summer. I never asked if she wanted to go, I just said we are going to visit colleges on these 3 days. I asked if she had any input on where she wanted to go visit; she didn't , so I picked 2 schools I thought would work for her and had majors that would interest her. (You could probably visit more schools than we did in 3 days; we had some other errands we had to take care of in the 60 hours we had for the trip.) On our drive home after our trip,she announced she liked one of the schools better than the other. It surprised both of us, because she picked the college I attended, and she normally doesn't like what I like. A few months later, she attended the high school day at the local college. After that visit, she went back to my college with a friend over spring break. She came back convinced that was where she wanted to go, and she hasn't reconsidered. (She did express some interest in late fall in applying to a highly-ranked school just to say she got in -- assuing she got in --, however, I wouldn't agree to pay for that since she wasn't even sure what top school she wanted to apply to.)
So, my advice would be to pick some schools you would be comfortable paying for and go visit on the days you have in February. I literally drew a circle on a map of how far we could go and get back with time to for a college visit in 3 days. I then researched schools that were inside my circle for what I thought would be a good fit.
One way to get him enthusiastic might be to invite some of his friends to come along on the trip. We saw that on both of our visits; a group of friends visiting together.
Good luck.
P.S. As I was writing this, it dawned on me that I only visited 3 schools when I was looking at college. I think I applied to 2 of them.
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Thanks. That was my original thought, however, what would a college student or adult put in the blank if itwants tank?
In the same section the form also asks for Achievements, so we were leaning toward putting his rank there. I don't think he has any other achievements. There is also a blank for offices held.
We are making this way too complicated.
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Thanks. I put those to show what else was asked in this section.
I'm wondering what to put for currently registered as. I'm now leaning toward Youth.
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My oldest son is applying to work at our local Boy Scout camp this summer. He asked me what the form is asking on a certain question and I don't know.
I know someoe here will know.
This is how the form reads
Youth Organization Experience:
Currently registered as:
Unit No.
Council
Number of Years tenue as youth ------- Adult -------------------
What do they want in the Currently registered as blank? His rank? Youth?
Thanks in advance. When talking me into allowing him to apply for the job, he told me that my food bill would go down if he works at camp.I thought it was a good selling point for a parent.
Thanks
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Sometimes people just forget, especially with new allergies. My mom kept offering my nut-allergic child pecan pie on Christmas day. My child, who is 17, kept saying I'm allergic, but my mom would ask again when dessert would be mentioned.
I knew there wouldn't be a safe dessert, so we brought one for my kid to eat.
I hate that your daughter was exposed to the nuts; we were lucky ours were impossible to miss.
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As of today, we do not have "need." We have one ds and have saved since birth. Lord only knows what tomorrow holds, but as of today, we could send him anywhere he could get in. I am struggling with how to factor in the cost of middle schools b/c we *could* afford them. But, while I wouldn't struggle paying full price for tippy top schools, I do sort of struggle with paying a full sticker price for a lesser school when the price differential isn't that great, kwim??
Hey,
You received great advice on how to pick "middle" schools.
Your post stuck in my mind, and I wanted to share the analogy that has been running through my mind since reading your posts.
It seems to me that picking a college is similiar to buying a car. Different people have different opinions about what cars are worth, and different people have different opinions about what different colleges are worth.
It sounds to me like you have done a great job in saving to provide for your son's college. That is great. So, you can "buy" any kind of car. It is up to you what kind of "car" you are interested in buying if your son doesn't end up with the true luxury car.
What kind of "car" is worth it to your family will likely depend on a lot of different factors. Location and regional preferences should be considered if your son would like to live/work in your hometown after graduation. Around the same time I read your original post, I read something about why school X was a better choice than school Y, and I remember thinking where I live school Y would be the better choice.
I agree that you should talk to people about the schools, however, realize opinions about schools are just opinions. I recently had someone tell me that they only hires graduates from one particular school, which was interesting since I had heard from someone else that undergrads from that school have trouble finding jobs because they don't have practical experience.
If I was in your shoes, I would be happy to buy my son whatever car that he liked and met his educational needs and career goals. Go on some test drives/visits, see what he likes; things will become clearer.
P.S. My senior ended up with a lot of free application offers, and that did influence where applications were sent.
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Since you are worried about his writing, another suggestion is to look into him taking all his required English classes as a dual-enrolled high school student.
With English out of the way, he will have a lighter course load at least for the first year of college. You can also do this for other required courses that might involve a lot of writing.
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Final decisions for where you are actually going to college (without ED) is May 1st for all schools even though some imply they want to know sooner. Once you put a deposit down, that's final. You're only supposed to choose one and then you're done. Some students have started double or triple depositing, but that's not only unethical (since your deposit signifies your planned attendance and it's all in writing), some schools will rescind acceptances if they find out a student has put in multiple deposits. A few schools only ask for housing deposits - read carefully - those might not be binding and might be refundable if the final choice is elsewhere.
Final decisions for scholarship offers may come sooner even though they aren't really supposed to. That's a sticky point for some students, but right now, there's nothing stopping a school from having an earlier "notify" date on scholarships if they choose to.
I don't have a lot of experience with college admissions, because my senior has only been interested in one school. However, I'm not sure all schools view deposits this same way. The school she likes has a refundable deposit as well as rolling admissions. We paid the deposit at #1 school even before she applied to some other schools in case she changes her mind later in the process. At this school, you have to pay the general deposit before you can pay the housing deposit, which is important since there is typically a waiting list for housing.
I was looking over the school's scholarship and financial aid booklet today, and it mentioned how prospective students will be notified of scholarship offers. It mentions different procedures for students who have and have not paid their deposit. There is also information about how to accept/ decline the schlarship. There is no mention of you have to accept the scholarship if you have paid the deposit.
That said, we have not paid a deposit at the other schools where she has been accepted.
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Glad that this day is almost behind you.
Praying that the days to come reveal Steven's clarity has returned.
Praying that the doctors are wrong about the tumor type.
Praying for peace for you and Steven.
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Praying that you will be able to see Steven in recovery soon.
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Florida Institute of Technology's website recommends homeschoolers receive their GED.
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Praying for the NS to remove the entire tumor.
Praying for Steven to be Steven after the surgery with no deficits.
Praying for the pathology to reveal a benign tumor.
Praying for peace for you and the children as you wait during the surgery.
Praying for peace for all of you as wait the next step.
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I sent you a pm.
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Sigh....
That's the sad thing. I found a school that would LOVE to help students with a science aptitude succeed and would be a good environment for students who need access to a lot of resources, but kids from my area won't be able to get through the front door. I don't know. I'm not going to give up completely. We've got a couple of kids in our 4-H STEM Club that have sooo much natural talent that maybe I should consider doing some sort of ACT and AP study group for them before they graduate from high school. I'm already doing this stuff with my own kids..
Faith
Thanks for the cool report.
I would definitely encourage those kids with the science aptitude to apply. In "what classes are recommended for admission," the school doesn't mention needing AP classes. So, it might work out for some of those students even from the bad schools. Since it is free to apply, it is definitely won't hurt to try for admission. They list the avg incoming ACT as a 26.3.
For those out-of-state folks interested, I found this at the scholarship page.
National Scholars Program Scholarships are available to non-Michigan residents of the US or residents of Canada.
First-Year Students—applicants with a minimum composite ACT score of 27 (or a 1220 SAT critical reading + math) and 3.00 cumulative GPA (on a 4.00 scale) receive $12,500 per year—bringing tuition close to that of an in-state student. Other applicants will be considered for awards valued at $7,000 or $10,000 per year which are competitively awarded based on an index that considers your high school academic record including ACT or SAT scores, cumulative GPA, and class rank (if available).
I'm sorry to hear about your school district. It makes me appreciate the high school my older kids attend. In the recent parent newsletter, the school recently announced that nearly 100 seniors scored at 27 or above on the ACT or at 1800 or above on the SAT. There are 450+ seniors. This is a school that offers a lot of AP classes starting in 10th grade.
Thanks again for the report.
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We could swing the in-state tuition, but not the out-of-state. Hopefully that will be all the more incentive for girly to raise her GPA every little point she can for scholarships. She's focused only on OH State right now for their psych program but I'm going to suggest she pick out a number of other schools as well.
Thanks for pointing me in the right direction.
A number of colleges, including Ohio State, have scholarships/programs that pay/waive the out-of-state portion of tuition for qualified students.
Here is the Ohio State program:
Award amount$12,000 ($48,000 four–year value)CriteriaOhio State is committed to enrolling a diverse and talented student population. The National Buckeye Scholarship is awarded on a competitive basis to non-Ohio students required to pay the out-of-state surcharge who are admitted to the Columbus campus for autumn semester. Those considered rank in the top 40 percent of their graduating classes and have ACT composite scores of 28 or higher or combined SAT Critical Reading and Math scores of 1260 or higher.Notes:-
Except where noted, the National Buckeye Scholarship can be combined with any other merit scholarships, as long as the combined total does not exceed the total cost of an Ohio State education.
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This award is renewable for a maximum of eight semesters (or the equivalent) of full-time undergraduate enrollment, provided the recipient maintains a 2.5 or higher GPA (earned by no later than the end of the first year) and nonresident classification remains unchanged.
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Some people just aren't hospital/sickness people. Can you talk to your mom into watching your kids instead of trying to go to the hospital? It sounds like your dad might prefer that arrangement also.
If that doesn't work, reach out to your friends and arrange for them to take turns keeping your kids for a while each day, so you can spend time with your dad each day. People want to help; they just need to be told/asked what to do. Don't worry about homeschooling. Right now your father is the primary importance.
Prayers
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I saw a sign that said, "Closed Thur's." That was a new one on me.
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I'm not sure I'm understanding your message correctly (the quoting isn't showing up properly on my screen) but I really do hope she will train some people she is likely to be around. It doesn't take long to show someone how to use an Epi-pen. I say this because as an adult, when my time came for a very severe reaction, I was unable to self-administer. (I was in my late 20's when it happened.)
Had I not been with someone trained to use the pen, I am not sure what would have happened.
But I think it's hard to make changes until you are lucky enough to survive an anaphylactic reaction. Even now, I still question the restrictions (carrying the pen everywhere, being extra-careful when I eat alone, etc.) but then I remember what happened. Maybe it is different now that I have kids that watched me have to go to the ER. And I've learned that people don't go into serious condition from anaphylactic reactions because they are so easy to recognize and people always have their meds handy.
I'm sorry that I confused you. I was probably just thinking through how much time she spends away from me, which made me realize how much time she spends on her own or with only other teens or younger kids.
I read the great links you sent, and in there I read something that puts into words what I messed up earlier. It said teens need to tell their friends and train them on the epi-pen. She is at an independent age, and she has to take responsibility for keeping safe. Not for injecting herself, but for educating those who may be around her if a reaction occurs.
The problem is she has now entered a stage of life where a lot of her eating will be done alone or with strangers. I can't think of any changes we can make to alter that. Can you? She will carry her epi-pens with her at all times.
I am glad there was someone with you when you had a severe reaction. However, you still eat alone. Like you, she can't be with someone all the time, so she also will have to learn to be extra-careful when she eats alone.
I do understand seeing it somehow makes it more real. My daughter became sick and passed out during the summer after an evening run one Saturday night a few years ago. It was hard for me to let her go running with her team on the next Monday morning. I wanted to follow the team in my car. Instead, I insisted she carry Benadryl and make sure she was never in the rear of her group. I did park in a nearby parking lot to wait for her to call that practice was over, instead of going home as usual. It has been more than a decade since my other child had an anaphylactic reaction, and it is still clear in my mind, which doesn't remember much these days.
I didn't see the recent reaction that led to my daughter's allergy testing. However, I'm proud of how she handled it. She ate some nuts while at a foreign airport waiting to return home from a mission trip. She felt her throat become itchy; she started wheezing; and she started coughing. She went and found an adult leader to tell her what was happening. When they discovered the airport clinic was closed, they bought Benadryl at the airport store, which she took. I am extremely glad that her reaction wasn't more severe and that she didn't have another reaction on the plane.
While we were waiting for the allergy testing, I told my daughter that I hoped she wasn't allergic since I knew from experience what it would mean. (Or, at least I remember what it meant in a much younger child.) She said, "It doesn't matter what the test says. I know I'm allergic, and I'm not going to eat nuts again." Of course, she never liked nuts anyway, so it was easy to say that.
Sorry for the ramble. Still thinking things through.
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I wouldn't want even a teen or adult to be responsible for self-administering in an emergency, if I could help it. In her situation, I'd probably start with the coaches of her sports, and someone at her church -- those seem like the most likely occasions for food problems. A coach would also need to know if there are restaurants that are safe or not safe for her, if the team stops on the way home from games.
Do contact her high school, though; when I was in public high school, they had a strict policy about students carrying any sort of medication. I had to get special permission to keep my asthma inhaler with me, rather than locked in the nurse's office (which would be a terrible place for epipens, when every second counts), because I was traveling to a local college as well.
I'm glad you weren't offended. I just know our parent/child dynamics have changed as she has aged, especially since she started driving. It will change even more when she leaves home in a year.
Your post made think about how much time she spends away from us. Today she was for practice from 8 till 10:30. She left home for work at 11:15 and returned at 9:30. She did eat all her meals here though.
I will have her to talk to the youth counselor and her club coach, who does like team bonding. The teams she plays for at the high school don't eat after games. Instead, the team, or part of the team if it is a big team, eat together at a restaurant or at someone's house before certain big games. The coach isn't there. Oh, they do have a banquet before and after each season at school or another location. I think I'm remembering one is pot-luck.
I'm glad you were able to carry your inhaler with you, where it needed to be. While I don't know this is the actual policy, this school doesn't care about the kids carrying medication. My daughter has chronic hives, so she has carried Benadryl all three years. She also carries something for headaches. She was sick a lot freshman year, with an undiagnosed ulcer, and she carried anti-nausea medicine. If she doesn't have her headache medicine, she borrows from a friend. So, I feel confident she will be able to carry the epi-pens (they would be in her purse, out-of-sight anyway), but I am curious to see how they handle food allergies even though she won't eat lunch there.
Thanks again for giving me things to talk with her about.
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I see some people saying their kids do fine at Taco Bell and Sonic. My dd has had reactions both places. I have also learned to talk to a manager at restaurants, not the waitress. The manager usually is more aware of how to properly handle cross contamination.
Is your dd allergic to just tree nuts or other foods also? Just curious, because those are two fast food restaurants my daughter eats at from time to time. She won't take it for granted and will ask before ordering.
Thanks for the tip about talking to the manager. Since she encountered an unhelpful person the first time out for pizza, she might be open to this now.
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****I would also talk with a few people that you trust -- senior lifeguards, friend, youth group leader, family friend, someone at the college -- whomever is likely to be around a lot, especially at eating functions, and I would train a couple of people to use the epipens.
I appreciate the great thought, and I will have her talk to her friends and train them. When I read your comment, I immediately thought, "She must have younger kids." I did exactly what you advised about training others to use the epi-pen when my younger child carried one.
However, I can't imagine doing that with this older child. I don't even know who I would train.
She is the only lifeguard at her pool, which didn't even have guests there for five hours yesterday. I don't know anyone that goes to that pool. I don't know where she will eat this fall as she will leave her public high school before lunch to go to college, two or four days a week. Two days, she will have only 10-15 minutes after drive time before her class starts. So, I guess she will just eat in the car. The other two days, if she gets that class, she will have 45 minutes, so she may have time to eat in the college cafeteria. I think she would rather use that time for studying than eating. She will leave college to return to high school for practice. She plays two sports in the fall, so I guess she will need to mention it to her coaches. She also coaches preschoolers; I guess she could tell the other teens that coach at the same time. She babysits for a child with Down's Syndrome. She isn't around when we see friends, and we are not around when she sees her friends. She even goes to a different church than the rest of the family. At this point, her life is very separate from mine or the the younger kids. It sounds strange, but I think it is reasonably typical for older teens.
She is carrying her epi-pen in her purse, which she has started carrying all the time. She didn't carry a purse in the past, but she plans to put it in her bookbag or sports bag when school/sports start.
Your post did prompt me to send an e-mail to an aquaintance, whose teen has a nut allergy and attends the same high school. I can't remember if he plays sports, but she will know about the school's policy for carrying epi-pens, etc.
I appreciate your help.
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I posted a thank you the other day, but it never showed up. I definitely wanted to tell you how much I appreciate everyone's feedback. When I was feeling overwhelmed the other day, I knew right away that The Hive could help. Thank you.
I want to thank all of you for helping me with this allergy. My daughter works as a lifeguard for 8+ hour days. There is no long break or fridge, so she takes snack foods and fruit to munch on through out the day. We had just discovered that 2 of the 6 snack foods she brings have nuts. Then I found extreme information on the internet. I needed talking down off the ledge. Thank you for doing that for me.
The strange thing is we dealt with a nut allergy years ago in a younger child, who was one of the lucky ones to outgrow them. However, that child had so many food allergies that the nut allergies truly didn't rule out many foods. I think my daughter must have remembered that when refusing the baked goods, because we had not talked about that yet. I know bad mom.
She is a picky eater, who doesn't eat Chinese, Indian, or Thai food. She also doesn't like BBQ. That will make this allergy easier.
She ordered pizza at the mall the other day, and she asked about nuts. One worker was confused and said, "Why we would put nuts in cheese pizza?" However, another worker got it a bit more and told her they didn't use nuts. She as used the internet to check out the ingredient lists for her favorite places.
She is now carrying her epi-pens in her purse. Originally, she had only wanted to bring it if she was going to eat somewhere. However, we talked about the soccer player's death, and she definitely could see herself stopping for an unexpected dinner after a game. She also has Benadryl in her wallet.
Thanks again for all of your advice and positive thoughts. She is handling this well.
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My high school senior has developed an allergy to a number of tree nuts. The testing was done after she had a reaction to eating mixed nuts. She recognized the reaction, and she got help when it didn't go away. It was treated with Benadryl, which was the only thing available. The allergist has recommended avoiding all tree nuts.
Other than with me, this teen doesn't like to make a fuss. She is very involved in sports, school, church, and work, so she is away from home/me a lot. This fall, she will be taking classes at a local college, and she will be going to college a number of hours away next year.
What are your tips for equipping a teen to deal with allergies to tree nuts? She eats out frequently, mainly fast food, and I don't see that changing. Since the reaction, she has stopped eating baked goods at church since she couldn't question the baker.
She now carries an epi-pen pack.
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I'm sorry. Thank you being there to help your sister. Your decision to delay the start of school is a good one; you need to give yourself time to grieve also. The kids do too even though they probably don't recognize it.
My husband died five years ago. He was on hospice for a while, so we knew it was coming. However, I was in a fog for a long while. In looking back, I have no recollection of a lot of big things that happened in that first couple of years.
I agree about applying for SS. I do remember that you can call to start this process. You call for an appointment, which can be in person or over the phone. There are certain documents she will need at the time of the appointment, but she doesn't need them to call and start the ball rolling. I don't know if you BIL being on disability will make this different, but since I was a SAHM at the time of my husband's death, I receive a monthly SS check. Assuming nothing changes with me or the system, I will receive that until my youngest turns 16. When my oldest turned 16, it did not change the amount of the check at all. My kids also receive checks.
Has your sister asked you to take over homeschooling the kids? I say this gently. (My family tried to make some changes for my life for me without asking me what I wanted.) She may need/want something to do. (Sometimes, I think I was too busy homeschooling and trying to give our kids a normal life to grieve properly. Other times, I wonder how a widow functions who has nothing to do all day but grieve.) However, it won't be possible for her to a good job homeschooling for a while. So, if she wants to do the teaching, I would suggest asking if you can help split the work, with you teaching the subjects that she doesn't like to teach. I look back at my homeschool records from before my husband died, and I'm amazed at what I did. Next year, I will only be homeschooling my two youngest, who are 8 and 10 now, and I am trying to keep my plans realistic about what I can do now. I am still not capabe to doing what I use to do when I was homeschooling 2nd and 5th graders the first time around -- our last normal homeschool year. I'm glad to say that I have higher hopes for this year than when I did when I taught 3rd and 5th with another set of kids 16 months after my husband died. The other things I have to handle now that my husband use to handle take time. That time has to come from somewhere. (I don't know how disabled your BIL was, so I don't know how much he did around the house/yard/children. Even if your sister did it all, I found that losing the ability to talk over problems that come up with the kids with my husband was a huge blow. Not having anyone to brainstorm with makes making decisions harder; it makes the decision-making process longer.)
The advice you received about it taking years to get back to normal functioning is correct even if it seems like she is doing fine to you. We look fine to others. I still can't handle cooking dinner properly. I can only think of 4-8 things to cook off the top of my head. I recently bought an EMealz subscription, so we would have variety in our diets again.
Plan on talking about your BIL forever (unless your sister specifically tells you not to). My kids and I talk about my husband frequently, however, our families don't when we are around. My husband was a great guy, and my kids lose out hearing about all the cool things he did since our families don't mention him.
Again, I'm sorry. Prayers to all of you.
Homeschool Highschool - Fork in the Road - Bright, Unmotivated 14 y.o. boy
in High School and Self-Education Board
Posted
1
I have your son's twin brother living at my house. Seriously, I would have written the above to describe my 14-year-old son. However, I have known for a few years that he would attend public high school.
He just finished his first semester, and he did great... all As and one B in honors classes. (His electives are not available in honors.) This is a well regarded high school. He has learned that he has to do the reading that is assigned in history to be prepared for pop quizzes. He learned that forgetting to turn in assignments, even just once, can lower your grde enough to make a difference. He learned when you get an opportunity to do something that will lead to extra credit or an improved grade on something already turned in, you do it. (Well, he is still working on that concept if it means a lot of work. He had a 100-question study guide fIor the Language Arts final exam. If you did it, you would receive extra credit on the final. It wasn't a lot of extra credit, so he didn't think it was worth the work. "Mom, it is 100 questions." I put my foot down and insisted he do it as he had a weekend.) High school has not cured his organization issues, but he is still working, maturing. It did not improve his handwriing, as he assures me other people have even worse handwriting.
He went into the final of his history class with a high B, and the exam was over a ton of history/policals information/geography. For example, he needed to be able to identify on a map the location of 200+ counties/cities/rivers/mountains/etc in Africa, Asia, Oceania, the Middle East and Eastern Europe. He kept saying I can't learn all this, a B will be fine. I kept reminding him of the As he had made of the recent tests in the class. So he kept studying. He went to bed before I felt he had it all learned, but he got up before the exam and went over it some more. He ended up with a 96 on the final and an A in the class.
At one point in the semester, he mentioned, "Wow, I could have done great in homeschool if I had studied this much." For this kid, the structure of high school has been a great thing.
good luck with your decision. This kid would have been happy to stay at home through high school.