Goldcrest
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Posts posted by Goldcrest
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I do not know if it is a trait of narcissism, but it seems that many people become overly chatty when they are anxious or stressed, neither of which mean they are necessarily suffering a personality disorder.
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@Corraleno (or any one else in America that knows) This is just a general question; in the US are taxes paid on divorce settlements? Did she have to pay taxes on the $7 million?
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6 minutes ago, Abortion Rights Shoes said:
Ah, it's the "agist" poster. That's still cracking me, BTW.
I'm an agist bigot. LOL.
I am more than happy to bring some levity to your online life as it seems tremendously serious otherwise.
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14 hours ago, Corraleno said:
That Rolling Stone article is so ridiculously biased. So they found a few DV survivors who sided with AH, and ignored all the ones who felt totally triggered by watching her lying and gaslighting and actually feel vindicated that JD was believed? Another author could easily write the complete reverse, with legitimate quotes from people who feel the opposite way.
If ONE court case in which a female accuser was exposed as a liar means "the end of the MeToo movement," then I guess the end was inevitable sooner rather than later, because some women do lie, and some men are abused, and men who are abused deserve to tell their stories too.
Rolling Stone lecturing about anything surrounding defamation and credibility is also quite ironic. As is someone using their publication as a citation.
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13 hours ago, Abortion Rights Shoes said:
How many times do I need to repeat myself that I don't care about the trial?
I care about the reaction. I care about the thousands of Youtube videos of so-called "experts" analyzing her every word and movement as if it meant anything. As if there is a "right" way to be a victim.
I care about how this made survivors of domestic violence feel.
I'll ask again - how did the loud accusations that AH was lying and the memes and all the rest help JD? But on the other hand, how did it make survivors of domestic abuse feel? Did it make survivors more or less likely to come forward?
ETA - you guys all made the choice to have opinions about this and debate for 11 pages how AH has a personality disorder and lies and to make fun of her. You didn't need to do any of that. I don't care about people making fun of famous people. That's part of the being famous but victims of domestic violence and rape are paying attention to your reaction.
I don't have an opinion on the verdict but this sums up how I feel tonight.
Is it internalized misogyny to broadly tell a board full of women how they should or should not react to things in thread after thread?
Or is there another appropriate term for a woman who repeatedly chastises other women about their reactions to a whole kettle of issues and also attempts to shame those who do not line up with her command? Is that internalized misogyny or?
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11 hours ago, KSera said:
Lol, yeah, no, that’s not the issue. You’re unaware of his particular issues perhaps? I would prefer to see Elon Musk start his own platform if that’s what he wants. No one (in the US) has lost their right to free speech either. It makes me laugh when I see people ranting about how they don’t have free speech anymore while live streaming their rant about their lack of free speech all across the internet 🙄. There are certainly other countries people can look to for examples of what loss of free speech looks like. Here’s some from Russia: https://abcnews.go.com/Business/wireStory/kremlin-crackdown-silences-war-protests-benign-bold-84075238
Honest question. Why would any person with the most modicum of intelligence start something from scratch when they can simply buy something that is already built and that also has an existing user and advertiser platform, that they can then tweak in various ways to increase user interface, and thus advertiser investment and profit share? That would seem to be an idiotic business move to start from the ground floor, would it not? Why would you start something from scratch when you can buy something that already exists? Are you talking of actual common sense investment or something idealistic yet impractical?
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You are coming across as a bully in this situation. You feel you are owed something from them. You aren't. You trash them all over a public forum, abuse your professional privileges to stalk them, and you think you are in the right? If there is a douchebag in this situation, I don't think it's the girl's parents.
The only right you have in this is to feel bad for your son and comfort him. You aren't a Christian as you have said before. You don't belong to their church or social group. It isn't your role to correct or chastise them in any fashion for a parenting decision. They are adults. So are you. Act like one.
"Water your own grass" and quit interfering and trying to control other people. It's a horrendous look.
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52 minutes ago, Pam in CT said:
re considering an option.... and then putting it aside
Indeed: she did consider that option. And then: she put that option aside.
She exercised precisely the judgment and self-restraint that you advocate as appropriate for 50-something grown @ss women, and discarded that option for roughly the reasons you outline (FWIW: I am a big proponent of judgment and self-restraint, though not always able to meet the mark in practice).
And THEN -- this is the part that I admire: she went further. She cast about for options beyond Do Nothing At All vs Simple Theft. She didn't just sigh with resignation, or fester with frustration, or vent on SM.
She considered contacting the cemetery, as you suggest below might be a reasonable step. But before she did so she did some homework, and actually found real information that provided real context. That context changed how she approached the issue. Specifically, what the new information she uncovered did was, mitigate her initial response. Indeed: she was sufficiently open to what she learned, that she may now go on a tour and learn more.
That is the *opposite* of outrage, or cancel culture, or kneejerk stoopid.
Would that her response really was The American Way.
😕
1. Perhaps she wasn't clear: she didn't nick anything.
2. Perhaps I wasn't clear: I applaud the grappling & research work she did AFTER deciding to not-nick, not the not-nicking.
3. She wasn't "outraged"; she was looking to make a small difference towards a slightly kinder world. I am not "outraged"; I admire her efforts toward that end. How are you feeling? Because if you're feeling "embarrassed" by what you are labeling "theatrics" ..... it is an option, to simply leave a thread that isn't doing it for you.
I feel as if you are talking down to small children in your phrasing, and missing what was actually said. She stopped herself from nicking a flag on impulse. What deep thought and restraint indeed. Clearly a celebratory accomplishment. You are of course free to laud her in a performative manner. Others are free to make comments as they will additionally.
As to how I am feeling, since you asked, I am embarrassed honestly by what this group of women has turned into, and frankly ashamed I ever spent so much time here in past years. White women applauding each other over restraint from taking something from a cemetery however, is perhaps a new low. And yes, I will leave the thread and the group to its celebrations at this point. Good day.
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42 minutes ago, Pam in CT said:
re mindreading One, vs listening to MANY
I agree: it is not possible to mind-read the individual who places an object on a grave. That is why I seriously commend Danielle for doing the work she did to understand the context of that particular grave. (She still, of course, doesn't know the identity of individual who left the flag, or that individual's motives. For all she or your or I know, that person could be a diehard white supremacist whose hobby is to affirmatively look up Confederate soldiers in little towns across antebellum America, and tromp out to their graves to put out Confederate flags in the express and explicit hopes of arousing the passions of recruits to the white supremacist cause. Unlikely: but possible. If she goes on the tour, OTOH, she may well learn that the tour organizers put out the flags so as to quickly ID where the tour is headed: that would be additional context.)
What is possible, is to listen to the many, many, many voices of people on the receiving end of white supremacist violence, about what the Confederate flag means and feels to them. (#NotAllPOC, sure, but, enough that basic decency and basic manners means, pick another symbol.
re "simple theft"
Quill considered a range of options as she processed the dueling values (including compassion pulling for removal vs honesty dictating against) that she brought to this issue, including contacting the burial site officials. W,ho necessarily clean up all sorts of dead flowers, weather-beaten teddy bears, paper and plastic remnants, and, to this point, time- and weather-beaten flags left on graves. (An aside, but as a former Girl Scout: there is a reasonable argument that leaving an American flag on a gravesite until it disintegrates is disrespectful to the flag.)
Is it "theft" when they do it after a good rain? Is it "theft" if they have a Terms of Service code that dictates against, for example, profane messages? Is it "theft" if they don't have an express and posted Terms of Service code, but occasionally remove items they deem as inappropriate for what is meant to be sanctified space for *all* families?
[I would not, myself, pluck up and remove anything from a grave. But I would not, myself, consider requesting the site authorities to remove a swastika, or a sign saying F@CK (Name of Deceased, even if the deceased were not my own loved one), or a Confederate Flag, to be -- in ANY way -- "theft."]
She discussed pulling it out, putting it in her purse, and throwing it in a bin. That is theft. She isn't employed by the cemetery. She is not volunteering at the cemetery. She has no affiliation with the cemetery or the family, so it's not as if she are part and parcel of cemetery maintenance. She considered stealing something that was not hers and throwing it in a bin.
As mentioned above, people assign meanings to all types of things. That doesn't give anyone a right to take and dispose of things on private property. If the flag in question were that flown by many other causes, people in these threads would be outraged and lambasting the behaviour of the thieves.
Even if her removing the flag was not something citation worthy due to its low value, it would seem there is a lot of hyper-justification here to try and give her a pass at stealing something. Your feelings around this do not justify the fact that Quill was looking to remove something that was not hers, simply on the fact that she personally found it reprehensible. Remove "confederate flag" from that situation, and substitute something else and that digs a very deep pit quite quickly as far as behaviour standards go, if persons get a pass at taking or defacing things they find upsetting and are justified in that behavior by those who share similar views.
The American Way seems to be largely complaining and being outraged over things, so in this case, that would be the way to go. Approach the cemetery. Approach the city. Voice your outrage. Complain away. But do not steal things. And do not applaud or head pat a 50-something year old adult women employed by a law firm for restraining herself from nicking something she has no ownership or business in. It's just embarrassing to even be here at this point that grown post middle aged women are engaging in this sort of theatric.
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53 minutes ago, Pam in CT said:
re real history in its real place
Danielle I am so glad your conscience was pricked, you held off on your initial impulse, you did the work, you unearthed the context, you uncovered this morsel of your area's actual history and it's inspired you to go even a little bit further and learn a little bit more. May we all be so temperate about acting on our initial responses, methodical in our working them through, and open to learning more.
You are a role model.
re neutral vs laden markers
No. Flowers are neutral. Flowers have no history or association with violence in the name of enforced white supremacy.
This seems largely beyond, to praise someone for simply holding herself back from what would be simple theft.
It didn't need context. It's not role modeling either. This is silly.
Removing something you do not own, placing it in your purse, and disposing of it is stealing, whether you agree with the context of the item or not. Unless her family owns the burial plot, Quill has no rights to dispose of the things on it. I would hope the laws where she lives would have standards against such behaviour.
The same way it is stealing when people take political signs from one another's homes, or flags from their porches, it is all theft. Quill considered theft. Quill decided to not participate in theft. This is hardly worthy of lauds and commendation. Respect of personal property should be a given and not a point of consideration that only when one deems said personal property to be "non-laden" is it worthy of protection.
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Were all of his accusers white women?
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5 minutes ago, Catwoman said:
I don’t think people are finding the zombie threads by accident, because it’s almost always the case that the “new member” posts one time in that one thread and then disappears. It seems intentional to me.
Imagine how much worse it would be if the whole catalogue were available to search from the inception of the old boards!
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I do not think the zombie threads are people who joined and then found the threads, rather that they were searching for the topic on a search engine and were led to the forum, then registered and posted. These aren't posters who join to interact with the community, they seemingly join simply for the searched content which is generally old, as there seems to be more old content than newly generated content.
Also, bots are a thing.
That's the downside of public forums. Everything is public and you generally have more readers than participants. I remember a glitch here during one board change over when even the social groups and their content went public.
I don't think it's people simply clicking the wrong page arrow, or else they would be posting on other threads additionally.
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3 hours ago, scarlethand said:
Thank you everyone for your replies! Yes I am very hesitant from switching to a different program because I am not interested in doing curriculum hopping much at all. I hated doing it for phonics (finally found wonderful phonics pathways after starting in saxon phonics k, which ending up being discontinued) and do not want to constantly switch for something as important as math. I have been reading the forums and so many people did so and so until this grade and switched to something else and then went back and it seems like things might get missed that way. I know i need to become more confident in teaching, I have that new homeschooling "im going to screw them up" attitude still. Im also the type that loves checking off boxes and some people say only do one side of a worksheet or only so many problems and skip this or that and my personality is that i want to do it all. I also think kindergarten and first grade she just wants to play and all of school might feel boring to her because she would rather be drawing and doing art and being creative. I would love to stay in one program all the way through. Maybe over the summer i will try some examples from other programs and such and see if something might be a better fit but if not i will just continue in the fall with saxon 2 and like many have mentioned do some more whiteboard work, math games, maybe do some of the worksheets orally. I know i need to be more confident teaching and being more flexible. I also understand opinions about not asking the children for their input picking out programs because they cant really tell what would be good, i think in a way some feedback from them is good about specifics but maybe not advice to choose a program as a whole. I will definitely look into math with confidence also to see if it might be a good fit. I appreciate everyone taking the time to answer, I love these forums for the honest and truthful answers and advice you get it is very helpful.
Thanks everyone!
Have you purchased Saxon 2 yet?
This may be helpful over the summer if you find her approach intriguing, but playing math as @lewelma outlines isn't intuitive to you, you could gain some ideas from here: https://denisegaskins.com
I don't know how to search for them successfully any longer but there have been many threads here in the past >5 years or more, around living math with page upon page of suggestion by parents over the years. We had quite a few posters in the past who were very creative in the approaches to math instruction at a range of ages, not just young children. I am sure the torch is likely being carried on at Facebook or wherever the younger post-WTM world have gotten off to for discussion, so perhaps there are groups there too.
You could outline the second grade scope and sequence from either Saxon, or another program that may appeal and use Denise's or others' creative methods over the summer to try and check some off. That would give you an idea of if this is a comfortable way for you to teach, or what is a comfortable way for you to teach, that may be worth then transitioning to if it seems Saxon isn't the fit.
We could of course list out scripted options, but in the long run, I think you will be well served digging into what approach is best suited to both your teaching preferences as well as her learning preference. I do think there are so many options at this time that a fit can be found for everyone. It's easier and cheaper though to go in knowing what your most successful teaching style is along with how she best takes to the material. Once you know that, it's much easier to then ask for curriculum suggestions and likely have a well suited match.
The buy and try method is expensive and frustrating in most cases.
Lastly, if you are wanting to go into Saxon in 4th, you definitely can use about anything else until then and still transition in if that is what you desire. They are vastly different programs from K-3 and then 4/5+. I completely understand where you are coming from on an uncertainty front and think that is a normal part of being a homeschooling parent. It will simply take some time to get your sea legs, but you will!
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Just now, Not_a_Number said:
You're right. I wouldn't go off of what a kid says about a curriculum they've never used. But I'd trust them if they said that they disliked their current curriculum, because they really HAVE used it.
I do not know if you are familiar with Saxon 1, but it is about as gentle of a curriculum as there is and is not a laden worksheet. Math Mammoth actually has a much more significant amount of drill and writing. Saxon 1 is not a "drill and kill" curriculum as Larson is a different author and Saxon 1 has nothing to do with Hake. It has very little similarity with the Hake Saxon line, so much so as to be an entirely different program.
I do not want to be harsh to the OP, but the workbook work is so limited in Saxon 1 that anyone should be able to tweak this to be palatable to a first grader with little work. The program was written in the 1990s and has not been significantly revised to my knowledge. It will simply take some time to look up alternative teaching strategies and their are fortunately a wealth of those online these days.
OP, I would suggest dropping the morning meeting, switching to a whiteboard, or otherwise something that takes your child away from the worksheets. She doesn't need to know you are working from Saxon if that's your desire!
First grade math concepts are universal in what is being focused upon. If you dial in on the concepts, you will better be able to see how your child likes to be taught. Only then would I consider transitioning to another program. In addition to disruption, math programs are expensive to constantly switch through. Read the lesson, decide the pertinent concepts and teach without the book. That is fine to do.
I don't want to further dominate the thread, but that is my best advice having had multiple children survive math, some of which were never thrilled for seat work, yet they all have ended up mathematically concept.
Best wishes on your endeavors through this OP. It is not easy but it is achievable, so take heart.
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For clarification of previous post to this, I do not mean that parents should en masse develop their own mathematical scope and sequence when I say not be dependent on curriculum. I think as @HomeAgain just said, it is completely fine well serving to have an outlined scope and sequence. With that though, should come the development of a tool box of strategies to teach the concepts that are in the scope and sequence outside of the script.
A complete aside from the OP (not directed to you at all @scarlethand), over the years I watched an alarming number of some regular posters curriculum hop math and it resulted in their children falling more and more behind over the years. Meanwhile their posts were/are met with simple suggestions of a new program, when the program is not the problem, the instruction is. And this is not a 2020 virtual school problem, this is a long existing problem for some homeschoolers. That is a tough truth though that many do not like to hear. Home schooling requires the home to provide the instruction, or at least it should. It is more than purchasing curriculum.
End of get off my lawn editorial haha.
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Just now, Not_a_Number said:
On the one hand, I agree with you 110% about being comfortable with the concepts. If that's the issue, that this is the main problem that needs to be solved.
On the other hand, I had a kid who used to throw tantrums about having to add 4 pairs of two-digit numbers and about how boring it was. I'm pretty sure requiring her to do Saxon would have resulted in intense, unreasonable levels of unhappiness. And she learned perfectly well without that requirement, so what would have been the point?
I think there are different things going on. Parenting difference, teaching differences, and weight given to input from children are some of them.
I differ from then OP in that I would not set curriculum examples in front of a first grader and expect meaningful input. They do not have the experience to give any truth be told. They're evaluating sheerly off appearance, if that.
Another difference is that I believe you are a professional math instructor. You are not a general representation of homeschooling parents who use scripted curriculum. The point being, you don't need a script, and you do not sure any mass generated scope and sequence from what I have read of your posts. Since you do not use packaged curriculum from the sound of it, then your teaching methodologies are not going to transfer to someone who needs script.
My original point being, the OP would do better to expand her own teaching capabilities. Only at that point would she be better equipt to evaluate the curriculum and decide what works or doesn't work. This is first grade. It can be done.
I am old and crusty at this point, admittedly, and do not care for how this forum has evolved to jumping ship and hopping curriculum as being the solution to all problems. I know that you @Not_a_Numberdo not necessarily espouse such views, as you seem to not use curriculum. But I think most would be better served to improve their teaching skills and not be so dependent on curriculum. If you have a skill set to teach, you can essentially use any curriculum and teach first grade concepts until you can drill down more on where the child is struggling. A better ability to discern what is attitude as opposed to actual disconnect with the subject matter.
But again, I stand more with the old timers and what was teaching methodologies versus simple curriculum fixes. Ymmv of course.
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First grade is early to label with general dislike of math.
If you prefer the scripted instruction of Saxon, I do not think I would transition instantly to another program. Children have a habit of thinking colorful means easy. Math Mammoth would not be easier than Saxon, so I would expect equal resistance once actual "work" became involved.
Instead I would focus on learning what the lessons are teaching myself and then find a more engaging way to teach the material. Hopping curriculum due to children's happiness does not often result in happier children if the mother is not comfortable with the different type of instruction. Therefore, find what works for you to learn how to teach, and then adjust the teaching to the child.
Old world advice from before there were hundreds of programs to jump to! But I have grown concerned over the years with the amount of math curriculum hopping. It rarely seems to address the problem if the parent isn't comfortable teaching the concepts regardless of book.
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On 6/11/2021 at 10:48 AM, alisha said:
homesciencetools.com has lots of science kits. Some are ones they have put together, some are individual ones from other brands, some are multiple themes. Lots of options there.
Agreed. If you would like to combine ds10 with olders, could you simply get some kits and not formalize it with a textbook?
Similar options would be MEL Chemistry or Physics if either of those more appealing although more expensive than HST.
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I read your original post when it was up and it struck me in many ways that I have thought on since I read it. I found the almost unanimous "rah rah, yes it's a deal breaker!" with such limited information to be quite disconcerting to an extreme. Even moreso, particularly in light of what marriage vows mean, and who comes first in a marriage: spouse or offspring?
I will preface this by saying I have been a long term member of this board. My identity was messed up in all of the recent changes and non-active account deletions, so I had to begin again, but is of small matter as I was not a frequent poster and more a reader at any rate. I use that as a preface due to my post count, in case some one wants to quiz my bona fides, as I say the following.
If your marriage was already on the rocks, then I believe you would be ill-served to use your child's latest announcement as "the straw." That is putting an extremely unfair burden onto your child, whom you very much seem to be attempting to protect. If you are at a point of "deal breaking," you owe it to all involved to use the culmination as the reason and not this singular event. Definitely not this very recent and precarious decision of your adult, or soon to be adult, child.
That is unfair to your child. And it is unfair to your husband. Eventually you would realize it was unfair to you as well. You will be laying a burden at the feet of your child. Whether they feel it is justified at this point or not, that they will have to reflect upon for the rest of their life that your marriage break-up was incited by their declaration is a heavy realization.
I honestly believe it would be quite selfish of you to declare a declaration by a young adult, as justification to end what was a life long vow. That is an extremely serious move, and although you may be quite justified in it for reasons we do not know, the reason cannot solely be this. This alone would not end a healthy marriage, no matter the disagreement.
For the sake of your child, and honesty in general, you owe it to your family to be transparent that this might be a straw, however it is not the only element in the culmination of the destruction of a marriage. You have since deleted your OP, but I believe in there was statement regarding that your marriage was already not on the best of terms, which is why I am posting this.
That in and of itself is the important element here. Not your child's sudden declaration of bisexuality. Your marriage is struggling and that is between you and your husband and not some random declaration, no matter how serious, by another adult, or almost adult as the case may be. Even if they are your child.
If you purse divorce, there is a high likelihood that in ten years things will not be viewed as "My Mum was so devoted to my lifestyle choice that she chose to divorce my Dad over his lack of support, for which I will forever be grateful." Although that may be the side you hear. That is possible. However, it is quite possible this event will more likely be fodder of "Did I cause the divorce of my parents?" on a therapists sofa. You may never know that, but do you want that possibility of that haunting your child for the rest of their life?
In all of the difficulty and stress you are enduring, I would emphasize that no matter how difficult, you be blunt in the evaluation of your marriage and what role this actually plays in it in comparison to the whole and whether it is the sole catalyst, or merely "the straw," which could also be viewed as "the excuse" for something you have been long contemplating.
The truth is, you do not get to write the autopsy of your own marriage. Those around you will, and blame will be assigned and you do not get to assign that blame. That is worth consideration before any pronouncements are made.
I wish you and your dh the best, and that you may find peace and healing in your relationship. But whatever you do, do not assign the burden of a failed marriage to your child's life decision. That is unfair to all involved.
Signed,
A random internet reader of this most very public forum
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1 hour ago, Not_a_Number said:
I think the word "math" is the problem for the people being described 😉.
I still think people should do what I do and offer a "class." Then do whatever you want in it.
I disagree about the word math being the problem, though I think you are correct on the class front possibly being more broadly appealing.
Another aspect that comes into play is the personalities of the parents, usually the mothers, as far as who is hosting and attending and joining. A class allows for more distance and lack of need for a relationship between parent and instructor. It’s a paid relationship and there is no expectation to be friends or really be involved. With “clubs” and “co-ops” the parents are more closely involoved and interactive, at which point how they relate and get along becomes more important, so the bar may be higher for attracting members. Sometimes the key to getting a robust and active group is to pull in the outgoing parents with a broad social group, when word of mouth can then help pull others in regardless of circle/club/group. Otherwise it is left solely to the organizing parent which is already a tiresome job, to then need to add marketing hat too. Extroverted popular friends can be helpful in such ventures.
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I think an element being left from the conversation of parents being uninterested in specialist math groups for their children is the larger perception of the types in and running math clubs. I do think there is a, not sure the term is “uncool,” but there is a perception perhaps that other types of groups would be better for one’s social life and image.
For some parents, sports will always be more prestigious than math, and not because they are too dense to value math, but because they are concerned of a child’s social image in addition to developing the child as a whole.
Point being, it may not be simple fear or ignorance about math. It may be something more along the perception of those in such clubs and preferment that the child be in something with a different image. There is a very stereotypical view of people involved in such activities in many circles, and that may play a larger role than some of you think, because you don’t see “coolness” or whatever the current term for that is in the same way as many adults who aren’t STEM in employment and interest.
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1 hour ago, Scarlett said:
Does anyone have this watch for the ECG feature? I have AFib. Two years ago my EP recommended I get it....I am wondering if anyone here has it for that feature and how does it work. I am feeling more and more off and I would like to monitor it to see if there is any real concern. But I also don't want to spend $400 on it.....although it does have a lot of other cool features....
I have it. It seems to work well enough, although sometimes you will need to redo it. You can send the reports per scan as PDF to yourself and then your doctor if you wish.
Another nice feature is if you are at any time worried of falls or losing consciousness the watches have a 911 fall alert, and can tell if you fall down and will call 911. When the fall is detected a count down starts and you can elect not to call 911 by pressing a button on the watch, but if you aren't awake to do so the watch will contact emergency services for you.
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nvm. My example strayed from the OP’s intent into the thread drift. Disregard.
The ACLU is reaching
in The Chat Board
Posted
Goodness that is steep!