[How to store wooden toy train and Hape stuff? Also, wood crib]

Our Thomas sets are in plastic totes in the rafters of our garage. My youngest doesn’t really care for them, but my older two boys spent so much time with them. I am not willing to give away any pieces; they would be crushed. I am certain we have thousands of dollars of Thomas gear. 
 

No way would I keep a crib for my kids. Safety and style will change by the time my kids have kids, and every new mom wants to buy her own crib. I would have been crushed if my MIL had saved a crib for us since I would feel pressure to use it. My parents wouldn’t do that to me, but if they did, I would have turned them down flat. 
 

Dh’s grandma made “wedding” quilts for all of her grandchildren. They were called wedding quilts because she made the quilts when they were young and then gifted them on the wedding day. Very sweet sentiment. I HATE it. For my entire married life I feel as though I have to use this wedding quilt in my bedroom. It’s not a style or color I would have chosen, but my dh is very sentimental toward it. Don’t even get my started in the random furniture she refinished and gifted to us.....

[How much would you spend on teen swimsuit?]

27 minutes ago, katilac said:

I would really not count on a swimsuit selected this summer fitting her next summer. 

Agreed. My teen girls’ bodies changed so much from year-to-year, even after they stopped growing taller. I wouldn’t have purchased suits in advance. 
 

We spend $50-$100 per suit for teens, and we usually have two suits/person. 

[I can't believe this]

6 hours ago, Noreen Claire said:

In my experience, the pay differential is due to public school teachers needing to be certified and holding an advanced degree, and the Catholic school teachers needing to merely be Catholic. 🤷

My kids attend a tiny K-8 Parish school. Tuition is about $2,000/year/kid. All the teachers are certified, and the ratio of advanced degrees is the same or more than our public school (varies each year as staffing changes).  When we hire at the parish school, we are not legally allowed to inquire about religious denomination, just like any other employer. Not all of our teachers are Catholic, but they would have an edge if the hiring committee knew. 
 

Our teachers generally choose Catholic school because they feel called to it as a ministry. They certainly aren’t at the school for the pay!

[Do young adult women wear leg warmers?]

On 9/19/2020 at 9:53 PM, mommyoffive said:

Those are not leg warmers.   Those are boot toppers or butt cuffs. 

It’s been so long since they were in fashion, I couldn’t even remember what they were called. My oldest dd has a couple pairs, but fortunately, they ran their course very quickly here. My 12yo wouldn’t have any idea what they are. 
 

We live in MN, and leg warmers are not a thing on any teen girls. They do love hats, fleece blankets, coffee, hit chocolate. So many blankets! The blankets aren’t just because, though, they are usually gifts from friends or boyfriends. 
 

[How to advise DS - problems while working at fast food]

I wouldn’t have much tolerance for the managers’ behavior. Fast food jobs are a dime a dozen, and they generally don’t have good managers. I assume he’s already gotten the best he could out of them. I would tell him to quit, and I would I have him send pictures and a strongly worded letter of explanation up the chain. 
 

Part of growing up is learning when jobs aren’t the right fit. This job and work environment aren’t the right for for OP’s ds. If ds needs the job, then  he should pound the streets and quit after he has landed another one. Assuming he doesn’t need it, though, I would quit today.

[Do young adult women wear leg warmers?]

My 18yo dd wore those years ago. Haven't seen them in the last few years.

The ones she wore, back then, weren't actual socks. They were fashion items that peaked above the boots.

[Tell me about co-ed high school wrestling.]

15 hours ago, Frances said:

I’d also add that wrestling was the only sport my husband said he would never allow our son to do. And he’s generally not the type at all to favor or push one activity over another. He wrestled for many years growing up in IA where it was huge and thinks it permanently affected his growth and health. And it wasn’t at all due to uninvolved parents as someone mentioned up thread. That is pretty much the opposite of his parents.

I'm the one who mentioned parental support upthread, and I did not say anything about uninvolved parents. I said, "In my observations, the kids who are making the unhealthy decisions don't have the same type of parental support at home as my kids." Some of the worst offenders with unhealthy weight management behaviors are the most involved parents. I hope this has gotten better over the years, as I hear stories from adults who wrestled decades ago under weight management practices which would not be allowed anymore.  Dh and I have never supported those behaviors. In fact, we have made choices which eliminated our oldest son from a state trip his freshman year and also may have eliminated the entire team's trip to state. My oldest ds has been a varsity starter since he was a prepubescent boy in 8th grade, and we refused to sacrifice his growth for the team or for his personal goals.

I do not get the impression the OP is an uninvolved parent or a parent who would support unhealthy weight management.

 

14 hours ago, CinV said:

Not necessarily. Best 106 on my son's team last year (and in the state) was a Senior. 113 and 118 were both Juniors. Heavyweight this year is a Freshman. 

Exactly. As I said, "The only saving grace could be if your daughter was in the 106/113 Lb weight class, because then she would probably be wrestling prepubescent boys."  A few seniors and juniors are able to get down to those weights, and then those older boys are usually the best in the state because they are (mostly) wrestling younger, prepubescent boys. 118lbs is much easier for a junior/senior to fill than 106/113, in my experience.  When my son wrestled 106/113 as an 8th grader, he almost always wrestled against 7th-9th graders, but he did run across a few older kids. We are in MN were junior high kids can participate in varsity sports, so we undoubtedly have a higher percentage of prepubescent kids filling those weight classes than states which don't allow junior high kids on varsity teams.

Heavyweight is a unique weight class. Heavyweight ages are all over the board, in my experience, since that weight class is hard to fill. Oftentimes the same kid will wrestle that spot all four years of high school, and weight is a critical factor in that weight class. With a 220-250lb range, a "light" heavyweight at 220lb has a harder path than a 250lb heavyweight, regardless of age.

Since the OP said her daughter was 110lbs, at that size, she may easily wrestle in the 106lb weight class. In January, the 106lb class becomes 108lb (since all kids get 2 lbs after Christmas/Jan 1), and she probably wakes up in the morning <110lbs anyway.  If the OP's kid was potentially matched up against the #1 state ranked 106lber, I would expect her coach to forfeit the match. No newbie should wrestle a #1 state ranked kid. If her daughter is still growing, then I wouldn't expect the 106lb weight class to be an option for much longer.

[Tell me about co-ed high school wrestling.]

14 minutes ago, MEmama said:

I don’t know anything about wrestling, but yes to this. My teen is lean—5'10 and 115-120 lbs—but crazy strong. Not “built” strong, but there’s just a physical strength that girls just don’t have (gross simplification, I know). I’ve been telling him since he was around 11 or so that he could absolutely take me down without even trying; he still doesn’t truly know his own strength but obviously has to hold waaaaaaay back when we are messing around. 
It has inspired a few conversations about being aware of his strength when he’s with girls, that there really is a difference even if he doesn’t see it. 

This is the idea I wanted to add to my post, but thought I would be blasted on here, as I have been before with this topic. I, also, would not want my girls wrestling a high school boy. The only saving grace could be if your daughter was in the 106/113 Lb weight class, because then she would probably be wrestling prepubescent boys. 

[Tell me about co-ed high school wrestling.]

47 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:

Well, and even if they did, you'd have to spray it in their lungs, lol. (don't do that!)

Right, they seem to be making it as safe as they can - but the fact is that close contact and heavy breathing and no masks would be classified as high risk contact. 

No disagreement. It’s a risk we are willing to take, and I assume the OP is as well since she asked about wrestling.    

[Tell me about co-ed high school wrestling.]

9 hours ago, theelfqueen said:

My oldest started wrestling in Middle School and it was definitely late for our area BUT there are a significant number of school wrestlers who never wrestled club... but the champions almost all started by like age 6. My youngest started at about 8 and seriously, in our area, that is kind of late for club, which was a bit of a shock. 

I think it definitely depends on how strong wrestling is in your area. My 14yo was a state champion in kindergarten. I giggle just thinking about it. He had no idea what any of it meant at the time, so it really meant nothing.

My 16yo started in 1st grade, and he finally became state ranked last year. He’s weighing his options for college wrestling. Not sure if he will go down that path, but he has bodacious goals. 

We live in MN which is a top five high school wrestling state. 

[Tell me about co-ed high school wrestling.]

8 hours ago, Catwoman said:

 

That is exactly what I’m wondering, as well.  Even if masks were used, the direct physical contact would almost certainly contribute to the spread of the virus. It’s not like they’re going to spray the athletes from head to toe with disinfectant right before they wrestle. 

I’m sorry, but this sounds so unsafe to me because of the current virus situation.

The wrestlers are not wearing masks, but everyone else is. They have the prescribed precautions taken at our F2F schools - temp checks, Covid survey, social distancing when not wrestling, hand sanitizer, etc. at the tournaments. My son wrestles less than 10 kids, so his true exposure Is with those >10 kids.  His exposure is probably less at the tournaments than at school.

Dh is working out of the house, and my other kids are going to school too. Every family decides their own level of risk. I know our level of risk is higher than most people on this board. I also know our level of risk is much lower than most people I know IRL. 

[Tell me about co-ed high school wrestling.]

I have two wrestlers. In MN, parents control how much weight a wrestler is allowed to lose. At the beginning of the season, doctors measure the level of fat on each kid's body. The high school league will not allow kids to go below a certain body fat %. I don't remember the amount off-hand. The doctors determine how much each kid could lose and stay within that fat %. The range between kids can be large because the kids' body compositions range widely. Those measurements are shared with the parents, and then we have to sign a medical permission slip showing the weights we will allow our kids to wrestle. We are not allowed to select weights below the doctor's baseline, and our kid is not allowed to wrestle before the permission slip is signed. Dh & I never pick the lowest possible weight, and our coach confers with us and the kids about which weights we are comfortable with.

The kids do wrestle based on their weight class. The weigh in for each match, and they are allowed to wrestle the weight class that matches their current weight or the weight class above that one. If my kid weighs 110lbs, he could wrestle in the 113lb or 120lb weight class. If he weighed 113.1lbs, he could wrestle in the 120lb or 126lb weight class. Oftentimes wrestlers are given "extra lbs" depending on the time of year, if they wrestled the day before, snow days, etc. When that happens, the weight classes are adjusted, for instance an extra lb allowance turns 113lbs into 114lb. If your kid weighed 113.1 on that day, he could wrestle 113lbs or 120lbs.

Boys and girls wrestle each other. You can find all-girl wrestling clubs and all-girl tournament classes in big tournaments.  

My oldest son has learned excellent nutrition and body health from wrestling, and I see other kids with the same experience. I also know some of the kids choose to manage their weight in stupid, unhealthy ways. In my observations, the kids who are making the unhealthy decisions don't have the same type of parental support at home as my kids.

Since high school sports are shut down here, my 16yo has been traveling to national wrestling tournaments without issue. Wrestlers are normally very careful about exchanging germs and sanitizing equipment, and the precautions put in place at the tournaments have been effective. 

Wrestling is a very physical and very mental sport. It not only requires discipline, hard work, and healthy bodies, but it teaches how to win humbly and lose respectfully. My 16yo loves wrestling with a burning passion. My 14yo does not, but I think 14yo will like wrestling a lot better once he hits puberty.

[Covid question, when is it contagious, how to isolate at home]

Had you not discussed this with college kid before he left for school?

my oldest is living in a dorm on campus. We told her if she tests positive, we expect her to quarantine on campus so she doesn’t bring it back to us. I also told her we would bring her food and meds and support her however we can. Her symptoms are likely to be minor, so fairly easy to handle away from home. 

[What is responsible?]

We are in a rural area with low community spread. Our schools are opening with full F2F learning as our county has had 0-9 cases per 10,000 residents over the past 14 days (MN rules). 

My kids have been seeing friends since our state went into level three. Most of their friend time is outdoors, but they have had overnights with one close friend each. They also participated in sports this summer - baseball, softball, weightlifting (indoors in cohorts), football, wrestling. Their mental and physical health is light years better than when we were in lock down. 
 

Also, my college freshman is living in the dorms. She moved in last week, and I can see living on campus is the right choice for her, despite having mostly online classes. 

[If you enrolled your child in public high school during their high school years.]

6 hours ago, lynn said:

Home school to a public high school.    Did they have to test in?  Did you have a cover school? no cover school?  Show them your transcripts and got right in or still have to test in?  I was told today when I withdrew my daughter that she would have no high school credits if she did not  use an accredited curriculum but could test in using their final exam?   Any experience?  Ideas?  suggestions?  We decided to start the year home schooling because everything is remote learning so when that gets straightened out we want to put her in the high school.    Just curious of others experiences.

I wouldn’t do this at our public school. Our principal would not be pleased. He holds grudges, and this plan would put us under his negative radar.  Whatever small benefit we would get from homeschooling the beginning of the year would be more than offset by the negatives for the remaining years (and the years from siblings). 
 

I would do this with our parochial school. In fact, it was my plan for 4th grade if we started virtually. 
 

ETA: would this serve your child well? Are you using the same materials and teaching the same classes he/she would have in the Public school? The beginning of freshman year is spent learning norms and teacher expectations. Seems like your child would have an easier transition to public school if she/he was already in her/his classes virtually. 

[DDPY yoga - where to start?]

I need some guidance on how to start DDPY. Can someone offer DDPY for dummies info?

Where do you recommend to start?  Is there a beginner level?  I’m not crazy about following on my tiny phone screen, so do they have a computer screen option? 

I really want to use my muscle and work on flexibility.  DDPY seems worth a try. Thanks!

[Extracurriculars in covid times, how are you dealing?]

55 minutes ago, CinV said:

My son is a wrestler, and his club has been up and running, first at coach's houses and now in a rented gym space, since they closed schools here in March. It was limited at first to just the team members, but has grown at this point to have 60+ wrestlers, youth and high school. We are one of the top teams in the state in our division, and there is and always has been a single week break between the season and "off season". In this sport, it's keep going or get left behind, and my son doesn't want to give it up and I won't ask it of him.

I have a passionate wrestler, and wrestling will be the last activity we will drop. He’s a rising 11th grader, top ranked in the state in our division. I don’t know that he will wrestle in college, but he does want to create the best opportunity he can for himself which means he needs to keep moving forward.  Our team has mats set up in a shed outside of town (rural farming community). Ds just started attending tournaments, wish we had him competing all summer long. We will probably be looking at a club in the big city before long, especially if the high school season doesn’t happen. Other than that:

Football -  practice without pads in summer. High school season moved to spring but will practice in the fall.

Baseball - Abbreviated summer season, but will have a fall season

Softball - Abbreviated summer season, will practice in fall

Volleyball - Waiting to hear if practice or JO Club for fall. High school season was moved to spring 

Cross Country - Dd considering joining for fall high school season since volleyball was moved to spring  

Weightlifting/Strength training - weight room was open all summer and will be in fall again

Basketball - Dd will play and practice if available in the fall. Nothing was available in the summer. 

[Second stimulus check]

1 hour ago, Happymomof1 said:

Ok, I guess I'm having a really hard time understanding this.  So, you are saying when I accepted teaching at a private school part time 12,000 a year or full time 20,000 a year was equivalent to fighting for people not to wear masks???  I'm so confused.  No, people couldn't' live on the salary. Most of us had husbands that were supporting us or had already retired from the public school system, but didn't really want to retire and were just doing it for "fun"/ to keep our minds occupied/loved giving back, etc.  It was a ministry.  So that is wrong??

I agree. We have taken on part-time jobs for experience, fun, to help others out, and/or to make a little extra over the years. I would be very disappointed if those opportunities were eliminated because minimum pay was pushed too high. 

We’ve also taken on employment where we didn’t want a career or to sustain our family on it. We just wanted an easy, low-skilled job with commiserate pay. Those are the types of jobs my teens are currently interested in, and jobs I dream about having after my kids are out of the nest. I would be very disappointed if that type of employment was eliminated as well. 

I don’t think every W-2 job should be designed to support a family. We do have segments of our population who aren’t trying to support a family with their work. 

[Second stimulus check]

On 7/28/2020 at 3:11 PM, Meriwether said:

My daughter couldn't work either of her part time jobs for a couple months. It didn't even occur to us that she could or would file unemployment. I would have been furious if she had collected an extra $600 per week (over 6 times what she had been making). Does she need money? Of course she does. She is headed to college in a year. But that would have been no better than fraud.

It’s not fraud to claim unemployment for which are you eligible. 

My 18yo claimed unemployment for about a month. I wish we had applied sooner so she would have collected more. She wasn’t able to work her normal summer jobs, and she did lose income due to Covid. She will be the generation stuck with paying back all this debt, and I expect she will have trouble with employment opportunities for the next couple of years. She is much more deserving of the unemployment payments than I was of deserving the $4900 check I received from the government. Many people made more money on unemployment than they did while working. Why wouldn’t teens as welll?

[Car help needed]

Usually bankruptcy allows the filer to keep certain assets, which includes a vehicle up to $x value (state laws discrete the rules). Assets sold before bankruptcy for less than full market value definitely would be considered fraud, if discovered. You need to have these conversations with a bankruptcy attorney in your mother’s state of residence. 

[BK is in ICU]

57 minutes ago, Pen said:

 

 

Why not? 

 

 

My lifeguards don’t mask because they can’t blow their whistle and jump in the water with a mask on. They are trained to jump in with whatever is on their body - seconds count when saving lives. 

[Are you still socially distancing?]

15 hours ago, Heartwood said:

Not really. I live in an area that is not, nor ever has been a hot spot. We currently have two cases (I think) and zero deaths. There are no mask mandates or restrictions for churches. Our church ran a fairly regular Vacation Bible School. I eat out (there are some spacing regulations), meet with family and friends, and shop. My kids have played baseball and softball, one went to camp for five days, and our county fair is currently going on. 

It's just not the same here as it is where many of you live and for that I am very, very thankful.

I don't need lectured on what any of you think I need to do. I've read enough of your opinions. I just wanted to answer the OP's question.

I am aligned with you. We are making socially responsible decisions, but life must go on. We constantly assess the risk profile of our family and community, and we feel we do not need to take as extreme precautions as I’m reading in this thread. 

We definitely wear masks, as required by the state. Other than that, in our rural area, I am not in crowded situations. Social distancing happens naturally for us. It’s really easy to avoid the very few times I could be in an indoor crowd.

My kids will be F2F in school later this month. I believe our school admins have solid plans in place to keep students as safe as possible. Our public school was at less than 50% capacity before this, and their plans do seem as though kids will be socially distanced throughout the day. My kids aren’t in band or choir, so no worries there (Those classes were moved off sight too). Our parochial school is at less than 50% capacity (no grade over 9 kids) so no worries their either. 

[What is your opinion of vacationing right now?]

Last month the kids and I flew to GA for a week at the beach. We rented a house with private beach access, cooked our own food or got take out. The beach was not crowded, no issues staying multiples of six feet from others. We participated in outdoor tours of a historical site and a walking tour of Savanah. We shopped for touristy things in the shops for a little bit, going at low traffic times and keeping our shopping quick. We loaded up on masks and hand sanitizer and kept our distance from others. We did stay in a hotel the night before we left, it was a six hour stay.

I was really worried before we left, but the trip was great. It was easy to be socially responsible, and now I’m really glad we took the trip. 

[Are you still socially distancing?]

1 hour ago, Pen said:

 

It is generally much easier to do 6’ minimum physical distancing in rural areas with sparse population than in dense urban areas.

The same basic rules and distancing should still apply in rural areas.  

If the virus gets started it can easily spread through a substantial part of a population that isn’t distancing and masked.  

Total numbers of people infected in sparse population areas will be much lower than in a major metropolis.

 However, having half of a community sick is likely to be very difficult even if it is only 29 sick and only 2 of them needing hospitalization to support breathing in a community of 58–and perhaps especially a practical problem if the actively sick tend to be the adults of a community. 

Rural people tend to think “it won’t happen here” ... until it does.

In a rural community near mine, it was brought in by somebody’s local small city relatives, for as best I understand it, an outdoor bbq (outdoor was thought safe enough, according to a close friend of mine whose neighbors had the outbreak). In another person I know ‘s  rural area,  it is said to have started from someone who had come in from NYC. 

Our greater rural area has some farm CSA’s where contacts stay fairly local, but stores have contact with at least drivers who in turn have contacts with many people in many places .  One of the small stores I go to (in a neighboring town— my own area has no store) similar to what you describe tends to have very few people at any one time.  But as people come and go with overlaps, if it becomes a social venue without distancing and masks, if virus got started, virus could easily pinball from one person to another pretty quickly before anyone became symptomatic.   The virus “cares” about availability of hosts with nice cells to move into, probably not whether the surrounding views are cornfields or skyscrapers. 

 

In 1917-19 flu pandemic baseball was apparently played in masks, and with masks and keeping distance on bleachers, in rural (and maybe even urban) circumstances it is probably a pretty safe sport for kids.  Something like Tennis, because of player distancing, would probably be even safer.    

Wrestling is pretty much right in each other’s breathing space.  If no one has the virus then it’s not going to result in transmission whether rural or urban. If someone does have the virus, I don’t think being rural will be a protection.  If the virus gets started in one rural community, kids traveling sports can probably  take it to other communities fairly quickly. Especially if there are situations like several pre-symptomatic siblings playing different sports and going to meets in several places before it is realized that someone was infectious. 

In Italy the virus got going in relatively small towns at first, not major cities. And in USA while it first hit big cities, smaller towns and communities seem to be increasingly impacted. 

Yes, I get all that. I also see that my rural  day-to-day life is different than a big city. We don’t have anyone relying on public transportation since we don’t have public transportation. We don’t have large amounts of people in communal living arrangements.  We don’t have lots of people in our stores. We don’t have crowded schools. By comparison to big cities, we were naturally socially distanced before all this started. Masking is new, but I think it’s new everywhere in the U.S.  

Covid has been in our community, just like most communities. I expect it to be in our community. I don’t see any way around that. However, I think the big city responses are different than rural response. The basics are the same, but I see far fewer impacts on day-to-day life in rural areas.

I am glad the government mandates/guidance are allowing for more targeted approaches. I think the one-size-fits-all approach isn’t realistic/practical. 

[Are you still socially distancing?]

I was thinking about this conversation last night while at my son’s baseball game. The responses all come from such different experiences. Our baseball game - playoffs, no less - was held in a town of 58. We parked in a hayfield, and had views of cornfields beyond the ball field. The previous game was held in a town of 384 with eerily similar cornfield views. 

My son attends wrestling practice, but not at the school. The wrestling room has been turned into a classroom, so the mats were moved to a shed on a local diary farm.  

Our rural experience is nothing like big city experience, and I think the social distancing needs are different as well. We shop at our local store daily. It’s a tiny grocery store with maybe (normally) two or three customers at a time. They do have a run after Sunday church, so customer count might pop up to 5-6 at a time then.

i think it’s possible (and probably necessary) for portions of the country to move into the socially responsible phase. We can’t be locked in our homes for the next year, and I don’t think it’s actually necessary for portions of the country.