2squared
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Posts posted by 2squared
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This is timely for me. My 18yo and 16yo are working at the same place this summer. This is my 18yo's fourth summer and my 16yo's first summer. The first schedule the 21yo manager created unfairly penalized my 18yo (along with other 18yo's), and just wasn't the way a professional anywhere would schedule. My 18yo was upset and we counseled her, but we did not step in. Then the 21yo manager called a mandatory work training with only a day's notice. My 18yo was upset and we counseled her again. She didn't contact anyone above her for either situation, and my 16yo just shrugged it all off. He rolls with the punches. As frustrated as I was, I was not going to step in for my 18yo. She needs to learn to manage her own work situations.
Then the 21yo called another mandatory work training with only two hours notice. This time my 16yo was in the middle of a baseball game and would not be able to reply to the manager. Since this now directly impacted my 16yo in his first job and the 21yo manager clearly wasn't maturing in her role, I called her manager (who is 50-something year old adult). I didn't complain. Instead, I suggested the 21yo needed guidance/coaching on appropriate scheduling processes, and I called specifically for the third issue in which my 16yo could not reply himself due to the short timeline.
So, based on my summer experience, I agree with the majority. We will support and guide my 18yo, but we are not going to step in or contact her workplace on her behalf. She needs to be the one developing those muscles.
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I roll my crust super thin (to where I’m fighting holes) and bake it before putting toppings on. Once baked, I add limited toppings and warm those until the cheese is melted.
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26 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:
We never had any beyond obey all laws (including those that apply to newly licensed drivers) and let us know where you're going and when to expect you home.
And don't bring any car--even your own--home with a near empty gas tank.
Definitely these.
I also tell our drivers that driving is a privilege. We pay for that privilege - vehicles, gas, and insurance. In return they are expected to chauffeur their siblings and run errands for me without complaint.
They are expected to have gainful employment which they are to use for their personal expenses. We cover all the same expenses as before, but they cover their increased socialization costs. My kids work during the summer and use those earnings throughout the school year.
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16 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:
If we were to sell in one year would you throw extra money at your mortgage or just save that money for a possible downpayment?
No. Cash is king, especially in this economy. You will have many out of pocket or unexpected expense related to buying and selling. I would keep cash for those items.
is your emergency fund fully funded? If not, I would stock cash for your emergency fund.
if your emergency fund is fully funded, will you have 20% down to avoid PMI?-
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If you can’t afford to carry two mortgages indefinitely, I would not do this with a bridge loan. I also wouldn’t buy without first selling or without a contingency to sell. The economy is bad and getting worse. I would mitigate any financial exposure, especially with large assets.
We have sold our current house and rolled the proceeds into our next house. Depending on the situation, we either rented in between buying and selling or made our purchase contingent on the sale of the previous house.
if you aren’t aware of your options, I strongly encourage you to contact a mortgage broker or even your local bank. I wouldn’t enter this situation, in this economy, without strong financial education.
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1 hour ago, Just Kate said:
OP here. You hit the nail in the head! If I’m going to pay for ds’s gas, I think I would prefer for him to just use a credit card. I know that ds will be doing some driving for me (like taking his sister to dance class - yay!!), so I’m sure we will pay for some of his gas. Because transferring money is a bit of a pain, I think we will add him to our credit card just to make gas easier (for me!).
For several years, dh and I only used our debit card, as we had some credit card debt to pay off (so thankful that is over!). During those years, we had our debit card numbers stolen a few times, which was such a pain since we only had one joint checking account (thankfully the debit card was not connected to our savings account!). Having a credit card number stolen is much easier to deal with.
When we added our oldest as an authorized user, I had considered opening a new account that only she would then use. If you want to track the kids’ spending, you could go that route. I decided I preferred to have fewer cards, accounts, and payments to manage, so they were added to our existing cards
I consider most of my high school kids’ driving to be my responsibility. Before they were able to drive themselves, I drove them to work, school, activities, friends, etc. They are doing the same driving (although fewer miles since I’m not driving round trip x2 anymore) plus errands and sibling chauffeuring, so I am covering all their gas. Our gas bill has gone down. 🙂
I think once dd leaves for college, she will pay her own gas, but I will give her cash when she comes home to encourage her to make the trip. I want to build good habits early, lol.
I didn’t find our teen boy to be as expensive as I expected. He’s about $90/month, and that’s with full coverage on a 2010 sedan. My 18yo dd is $90/month on a 2013 Chevy Equinox, so they are nearly the same cost. I just dropped full coverage on ds’s vehicle yesterday, so I expect his amount to decrease a little. We have our two teen drivers as primary drivers on our two oldest vehicles.
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4 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:
I don’t think it has to be an either or thing. Mine are authorized users on our card. They also have debit cards and checking accounts so they are learning to manage their own daily expenses and not overdraw. I think a student or secured card could be useful in addition to the debit card and the family card.
It is also strange that there is some pushback here that parents that put their children on the family card are spoiling their kids or something. Or not teaching responsibility. To the contrary, having access to a card with a $30,000 credit line and not using it (or misplacing it!) is actually alot of responsibility.
There are lots of ways to teach kids about money and get them launched. This is one possibility and it has worked well for us. But it isn’t the only way for sure and there are good suggestions in this thread.
I agree. My kids have debit cards, checking accounts, employment, and years of managing their personal money before they are added to our credit cards at 16yo. We add them because they are financially responsible and trustworthy. If they weren’t financially responsible or trustworthy, we wouldn’t have gone this route.
We pay for insurance, gas, vehicles, cell phones, etc while they are in high school. Them driving saves gas versus us driving them around, and it’s a lot more convenient to have them drive. My oldest is heading to college in the fall, and I plan on passing her clothing and gas bills to her then. I’ll probably give her gas money when she visits to encourage her coming home.
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41 minutes ago, Pen said:
Given the huge numbers of people in credit card debt, I don’t agree with you.
That May be true for your family, but for many a person or family a credit card can lead into spending money beyond ones means.
A debit card without overdraft is limited to what is in the account. From ~ age 14 to the present that is what my son has managed with.
If he were frequently running errands or shopping for the household that might have led to a different decision.
If your teen overspent on **your** card as an authorized user ? Would you leave the amount unpaid and building up interest on the amount till the teen paid it? Or by definition is it impossible to do that because you just cover whatever they spend?
If my teen used my credit card on authorized items, then they will be banned from the card and they would reimburse me. This hasn’t happened yet, but that is what I tell the will happen. We have never carried a balance on a credit card, and we definitely wouldn’t in this case either. My teens use my credit card to buy things I pay for. They use their own credit/debit cards for their personal expenses. They frequently run errands and buy items for the household.
I should say my pre-18yo teens use my credit card for their personal online purchases and then they transfer cash to me. We don’t use debit cards for online purchases, as a matter of financial security.
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4 minutes ago, Pen said:
I think at least for some cards it does help to build credit.
My own feeling is that it is better for young person to slowly and carefully build their own credit. That they are less likely to get into a difficulty of overspending if they start with a small secured card.
And I can’t think of a situation where I would have wanted a 16 or 17 yo to spend a significant amount (over debit card ability ) without consulting me. I didn’t allow overdraft protection for debit card either. I considered the inability to accidentally overspend to be a positive thing.
A credit card is a means of payment, nothing more. Some people may prefer to reimburse their teen for expenses, and that works for them. The same money is spent regardless of payment method.
My teens are authorized users on my credit cards purely for my convenience. I have no care if it helps build their credit or not. They will do that on their own. If they do get a boost from being on my card, I guess that’s an unintended positive outcome.My teens definitely consult with me when they spend large sums of my money, but just as often I am telling them to spend. The means of payment (their debit/credit vs my debit/credit) is, once again, purely for my convenience.
If my teen overspent in his/her credit card, I wouldn’t bail them out (hypothetical at this point because they haven’t overspent yet). That would deprive them of a valuable life lesson. Having them as authorized users on my credit card is not related to their spending limits at all they are responsible for monitoring their spending of their personal money.
My teens do not have overdraft protection either, for the same reason you state. I want them to have the natural boundary of only spending what is in their checking account.
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2 hours ago, Garga said:
What about a student credit card? My son just graduated high school and could get a card of his own. He’s very conservative about his money, so it would be completely shocking if he abused the card.
We’re thinking of getting him a student card. Is there a reason everyone posting on this thread added their students to their own cards vs getting them a student card?
Kids have to be 18yo to get their own credit card, and then when they are 18yo, the credit limit is very low. My kids start driving at 16yo, so that’s when we add them as authorized users. My younger teens/preteens take my credit card when they are out and about without me.
I think my 18yo has $150 credit limit on her card.
i have no desire to transfer money or have them split their credit card bill between things I pay for and things they pay for. It’s much easier for them to just use my credit card.
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9 hours ago, 2squared said:
Our teens are authorized users on our credit cards. They use the credit cards for everything, and it’s been heavenly. They run errands for me all the time, and the convenience of not tracking and transferring money has been awesome. For example, if they are out an about, I can have them stop by the store for milk without a second thought
We pay for everything - gas, insurance, repairs, vehicle. The vehicle is as much for my convenience as it is for their convenience. When they start driving. I save a lot of time and gas money not saving to drive them around anymore, and they also drive their siblings around. I am pleased to foot the bill in exchange for the added convenience, and I am very glad my five kids are two years apart. I should always have a teen driver until my youngest graduates.
I should add that my teens have their own debit cards which they use to pay their expenses. They use my credit card to pay for my expenses.
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Our teens are authorized users on our credit cards. They use the credit cards for everything, and it’s been heavenly. They run errands for me all the time, and the convenience of not tracking and transferring money has been awesome. For example, if they are out an about, I can have them stop by the store for milk without a second thought
We pay for everything - gas, insurance, repairs, vehicle. The vehicle is as much for my convenience as it is for their convenience. When they start driving. I save a lot of time and gas money not saving to drive them around anymore, and they also drive their siblings around. I am pleased to foot the bill in exchange for the added convenience, and I am very glad my five kids are two years apart. I should always have a teen driver until my youngest graduates.
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Treating male and female employees differently is sexist. Doesn’t matter if no one knows or it’s for a religious belief or if it’s to make a spouse feel better. It’s sexist. I have seven direct reports. If I meet with my male employees in glass conference rooms but my females employees in my office, that is treating them differently. If I have a rule I’d never be alone with my male employees but I would with my female employees, that is treating them differently. I would be extremely disappointed with myself if I didn’t treat my employees exactly the same. I never think, this person is male, so xyz treatment is needed. Either I meet with everyone in the glass conference room, or I meet with none of them there. In fact, I would feel terrible if an employee figured it out - My boss meets with me in xyz room, but she meets with the rest of the team in her office. It’s bound to be noticed at some point, and then I would have set up our company for adverse actions.
You could extend the same thought to age or race. If I have a personal rule to to never meet alone with my employees > 60 years old but I can with younger employees, that’s wrong.
If I have a personal rule to never meet alone with my Native American employees but I can with my Caucasian employees, that’s wrong.
I am very surprised people cannot see sexism in this Billy Graham rule, but maybe I shouldn’t be surprised? I expect this inherent bias happens more often than I realize.
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3 hours ago, Quill said:
Hey, just an interesting update from something I was listening to yesterday. If was on my Calm app and it was a class about Stoical Philosophy. The instructor was saying equilibrium is improved when you accept all things could happen. He gave the example of going on a trip; your flight may be delayed, you might get pulled out for searching by security, the food might be suspended, the plane might wait on the tarmac due to weather or mechanicals, etc. It is better, he was saying, to embrace and acknowledge that any bad outcome might happen. People who grasp onto the idea that bad outcomes can never happen in their case experience much greater instability when bad stuff happens.
I thought about this thread and infidelity in that light, and I think, that’s how I think about it. I don’t think it’s likely but I don’t think it’s impossible for me to be cheated on, or for myself to be pulled away. We do know that external structure helps people do what they mean to do, and not do what they don’t mean to do. Seen in that light, self-parameters, like someone upthread called the Billy Graham rule (never knew people called it that, but it suits), are a good idea. I don’t think it’s wise for any rule to be upheld no matter what, like in the example of giving the woman a jump in the parking lot. That’s gettin’ a bit hair-splitting to me. But I can see where the general rule would be more helpful than not.
I live by the concept posted above, but I detest the Billy Graham rule. I think the Graham rule does nothing but hurt and demean women. I can’t imagine not meeting with men 1:1 in a work setting. Not only would I not be able to be successful in my role, but my male coworkers wouldn’t be successful either. Not to mention, treating a males differently than females is illegal.
But, anyway, I think the way to live out the philosophy above is to mitigate the impact of bad scenarios, not to focus on eliminating the bad scenarios. For instance, how to mitigate the impact of a marriage ending. What do I do? I make sure I can support myself and my kids, know our financial resources, and am capable to live independently if I ever need to. Marriages can end for so many reasons. Living the philosophy means I am set up to recover from my marriage ending or my spouse being disabled or dying.
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13 hours ago, sassenach said:
It’s not just about the money (though it definitely is). Athletes want to play. It’s their passion. My son’s baseball season was canceled and he was withering before our eyes when we were on full lock down. He is absolutely willing to risk catching COVID rather than be restricted from participating in his passion for the next 2 years.
Athletes get dismissed all the time like their skill/joy is not important. It’s what gives color to their lives and it matters.
Exactly this. I have a high school wrestler who will be a junior this year. He was a top ranked wrestler in our state last year as a sophomore. College coaches have started calling. He will be absolutely devastated if he can’t wrestle this year.
He’s also a straight-A student vying for valedictorian and plays football and baseball. But....his passion is wrestling and he wants/needs to compete for himself. He’s lifting, running, and eating to get his body ready for a wrestling season that should be six months away but is likely to not happen. I want him to be safe and healthy, but wrestling has been our mental health and sensory therapy for him for nearly a decade.
I would love to see a compromise where athletes can compete, with the competitions streamed online rather than have live audiences. Viewing could be subscription based so the programs would still earn revenue.
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We just rented a beach house with private access to the beach on Tybee Island, GA. Four bedrooms, sleeps 10, one full bathroom + four sinks + two outdoor showers). One week = $3500
We saw prices more expensive for much fancier accommodations. Many places were already booked, and I assume they were cheaper for similar accommodations.
I would think you would need a huge house for six families....and a lot of bathrooms. If each family comes with two kids, that’s 24 people. That will be expensive if you stay in one house. Could you find a place where you rent condos in the same complex? That would be my preferred approach.-
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3 hours ago, Acorn said:
Under my bed is 1 box for gift bag storage and 3 boxes for quilt/blankets. My kids keep their comforters in their closets for summer. I have a linen closet for sheets and towels.
ps. Do your kids ever need to change sheets in the middle of the night? Around here there is always a bloody nose or illness or spilled water.
I was so frustrated caring for a relative that only believed in one set of sheets. I don’t know if sheets were exorbitantly expensive back in her day. I’m sorry in today’s world of cheap fabric there was no need to be stressed about accidents or spills on the one set of sheets and then need to stay in the living room chair until the bed could be remade.
We don’t have middle of the night sheet issues, no bloody noses and no water in the bedroom. When we are sick, we take vomit buckets to bed with us. If someone missed their bucket, we would put the sick kid in our bed, throw the sheets in the laundry, and have a parent sleep in the sick kid bed on top of one of our many quilts. I can’t remember the last time that would have happened. My bedwetters have always slept through the night, and then we washed their sheets the next morning. I personally just don’t want to store sheets that we don’t need. I already have a ton of blankets and quilts!
Sounds like our new closet is the best option. Our other closets are taken already as nearly everyone shares a bedroom, and we don’t use dressers (two in use for seven people). Areas under the bed are used for storage since the closets are full of clothes.
Thanks!
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Northern ladies - where do you store your quilt and blanket collections? We have quilts on our beds and throw blankets by the couches. We do not have extra sheets to store. We wash and replace on beds the same day.
We also have a collection of extra blankets and quilts that reside in a cedar chest. I want the cedar chest to go away, but I don’t have any good ideas for storing the extra quilts and blankets. Dh’s grandma blessed us with a lot of homemade quilts and now I’m stuck trying to figure out how to store them. I’m thinking storage tubs in the basement, but maybe others have a better idea? We do use the extras for sleepovers, picnics, and ball games. I also already keep lap blankets in the van. I need an old fashioned linen closet just for my quilts!
Dh is finishing an office for us, and maybe I could store the quilts in the new office closet? We need a place for dd’s prom dresses too. Hmmmmm....that might be a viable option. any other ideas?
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Dh is getting Tiles - 2 for key chains and four stickies for remotes. This will be a welcome gift for everyone. Dh gets so mad when he can’t find remotes or tiles. The kids don’t put away the remotes, but he is the one who misplaced the keys. Anyway, this way he will be able to push a button on his phone and find what he’s looking for. No need to irritate the rest of us now....I really hope they work.
I love the throwing knives and soap-on-a-rope ideas. My 16yo may get throwing knives for his next birthday or Christmas.
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On 6/5/2020 at 3:00 PM, stormy weather said:
1. What are 3 things you enjoy best about your position as a Supervisor/Manager?
Helping, growing, and training my team. Identifying and solving problems, especially problems others didn’t know existed.
2. What are 3 things you enjoy least about your position as a Supervisor/Manager?
Performance reviews, dealing with whiners, and seeing the inequity between upper management and low level employees (I am in finance/accounting. I see everything.) One of my team members is always looking for how her job could be easier rather then looking at how to make changes for the good of all. The same team member complains about not getting benefits others get, while conveniently not seeing the (better) benefits she receives.
3. What advice do you wish someone had given you when you first became a Supervisor/Manager?
Help your employees excel in their roles. If they excel, you excel.
Learn the informal channels of how things get done - learn what others value and build close relationships. The close relationships will be critical to achieving your goals and to helping you when you falter.
Communication is critical. Talk things out with various experts before making decisions or forming opinions. Realize you will never be an expert in all things, so your relationships will be critical in helping you identify and understand your gaps. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Be a creative problem solver. Your value is in seeing and solving problems, not in completing rote tasks.
ETA: The fastest way to advance in your career is to (1) be excellent at what you do and (2) have a champion in the organization that will pull you along with her/him. I have always been high-performing, and I have been able to make the levels above me look good. In turn, those above me have been my champions which helps with promotions, salaries, benefits, etc. I nurture the relationships I have with my champions.
On 6/5/2020 at 3:00 PM, stormy weather said:I am a currently a Senior Accounting Manager for a larger company. I manage a team of 7 accountants at various stages in their careers.
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I am a senior accounting manager for a larger company, and I have been working as an accountant since the 1990’s. I have a BS in accountancy and I passed the CPA exam back when it had to be taken in one shot.
in my experience, bookkeepers have no experience/2 year degrees and accountants have four year degrees/CPA. Bookkeepers/clerks do bookwork for small companies, leaving the accounting work for a larger firm, or they work in A/P, A/R, payroll, etc in larger companies. Larger companies hire 4 year degrees accountants for their accounting teams.
I require a four year degree to hire into the accounting team. We are LCOL area, and we are starting new grads at $50k. My most senior accountants make $70k-$80k + bonus, and accounting management is at >$100k+bigger bonus. Clerks in A/P, A/R, payroll make much less and have far less opportunity to grow their salaries. Even with decades of experience, clerks and supervisors in A/P, A/R, payroll make less than my new hire grads.
My ideal new hires would be: (1) a green 4 year college grad with a CPA, (2) someone with business experience in another area but who went back to school for their accounting degree (just described my last two new hires, lol), or (3) someone very experienced from a larger company than ours who has a four year degree + CPA. I want someone with the technical book knowledge whom I can mold or someone already molded by a larger company.Bookkeeping experience wouldn’t be a competitive advantage for my accounting positions. In fact, we have had a difficult time converting bookkeepers to accountants in our company, so we generally don’t look at our own staff when we have accounting positions open. I tried really hard with my last open position, and the bookkeepers just couldn’t make the jump. Very disappointing for all of us.
ETA: You should look at employment opportunities in your area, and consider what you are looking for long-term. A bookkeeper/clerk position is generally 40 hours/week, 8-5, butt in seat at the office (pre-Covid), and low stress as it is a processing job - entering invoices, processing payroll, collecting on outstanding invoices. An accounting position involves decision making and analysis along with standard accounting tasks related to financial reporting.
My accountants are all salaried with the understanding that they are employed to complete their work, which may not fit into strict 8-5 working hours. The flexibility is to our benefit and detriment. I never miss a kid activity, I can work during vacation if needed, and I can work form home whenever I want, but.....I am expected to get my job done which means I will work evenings/weekend to get caught up if needed.
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3 hours ago, katilac said:
Well, it's certainly harder to see if someone's short on money if you don't have any of their financial info. I have a relative who has a small but sufficient monthly income. She often declines outings or vacations as too expensive, so most thought she was indeed short on money - until discovering that she also had some decent investments she could cash in, but she wants to not touch that and leave it for her grandkids. That's all well and good, it's her choice, but I'm not going to subsidize that, kwim?
Random vs monthly doesn't matter in the least if you've already made the commitment to help them. My point was that you had better be committed for the long-term if you start giving monthly money or paying monthly bills, then they're making decisions based on that. OP's mom is only 67, so that's potentially 20+ years of giving her X amount of money per month. Giving more randomly only does one thing, which is to keep them from expecting a certain amount and from budgeting with that monthly amount in mind. If you're confident they need the money to get by, and are committed to giving it, then it makes no difference whatsoever to give it monthly.
It does make a difference monthly versus random to me. That’s my entire point. My mental buy-in cannot handle random or a pile of cash building up for them. To be on board, my requirement is to pay set bills. OP’s dh sounds like me, so I am providing a different perspective. My guess, based on his investing comments, is that he also won’t be able to handle money sitting in a bank account waiting for his MIL to need it.
I understand the math is the same either way. However, situations like this need to be done in a way where both spouses can agree on how to provide support and how much to provide.
And, if our financial situation changes, then it will impact the people we support. Such is life. By giving a set amount, they are able to better budget the funds they do have. It’s the poverty mindset with windfalls that I read about - when people are on the edge financially, windfalls don’t help nearly as much as reliable, consistent support.
People do truly retire without having the financial resources to support themselves. Hopefully they find support through various programs, but often family steps in to help as well.
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57 minutes ago, katilac said:
Well, it's random to the recipient, not necessarily the giver. The giver could still budget so much per month. They might give the entire budgeted amount over the course of a year, or they might choose to hold some back in case the next year brings an expensive repair or something.
If I were going to commit to a monthly amount, then yep, I'd need to see that overall budget and I'd want to explore all the senior programs. It's not that I'd insist on them participating in every program they are eligible for before helping, but certainly I'd want an idea of what's available and what makes sense.
If you don't have any idea of their budget, how did you know they needed help to begin with? Did they ask - if so, how? If dh thinks they need help just because they grumble about the cost of things and talk about not being able to afford this or that extra, well, let me just say that he might be very surprised if he did take a look at their bank account. Sometimes the people with the biggest bank accounts have the poorest mouths.
It’s not hard to see when people are short money. We know how much they retired on, and we know it was all in a savings account (so losing purchasing power every year). They asked dh’s brother to buy their house, and when he declined, they made an appointment with a realtor to sell. They love their property dearly, and they wouldn’t willingly leave. They have extended all the credit available to them. They don’t maintain their house because they can’t pay for someone to do the work. They skip medical and dental appts because they can’t pay the bills. They don’t grumble about bills or money ever. In fact, they never talk about money.
They were behind in their property insurance before we took over the bill. They were days from of being uninsured, which would have caused their mortgage company to foreclose. None of this was shared with their kids until the last possible moment.
They are hard working, honest, salt of the earth people who raised nine kids on a small single income. They aren’t faking their situation, but they aren’t my parents so I don’t know the entire situation. All nine kids and spouses cannot provide input or nothing would get done. We have way too many opinions to allow everyone a voice. I, however, do have a voice in how much we are willing to give.
Whether it makes sense or not, I need to pay a steady bill. If we have a pot of cash to randomly distribute, I would be resentful if the situation. Right or wrong, thats how I would feel and my requirement for supporting their household. Some of my BIL and SIL give straight cash, which obviously works for them. It doesn’t work for me, and I’m guessing I’m more like OP’s dh.
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I don’t agree with the advice of gifting random cash. We help support my in-laws, and I mentally could not handle gifting cash. I need to pay specific bills so I know our contribution is going where it’s needed, and they need to know how much they have to live on. If I gifted random cash, I would always be on edge and irritated like OP’s dh. By paying specific bills, I can easily budget the money and reduce my mental load about the entire situation. My in-laws can, hopefully, make smart financial plans with their resources.
I’m not convinced my in-laws have budgeted their money well. I don’t know that they overspend either, but I don’t think anyone knows how short they truly are. We are all contributing money to a black hole, and I’m always waiting for the next problem to arise. At least by paying specific bills, I feel like our obligation is set. I know dh wants to give more, but I just can’t do that without seeing a complete budget and knowing if they have already explored senior programs (which they haven’t). So, dh and I are at a stand still. I want more data before increasing our commitment, and he doesn’t want to obtain the data.
This situation can easily go south between spouses. My best recommendation is to jointly agree on how much OP’s family is willing to contribute to supporting MIL, and budget/set aside that amount every month.
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Are you still socially distancing?
in The Chat Board
Posted
This is too. We have moved into the socially responsible stage while most people I know are back to normal. We are not at SIP in our area. We live very rurally in MN.
i am working from home FT. Dh is mostly working from home for his civilian job, but he has been in person for his military job. Dh is attending church, kids and and I are not. My two oldest are working (outdoor lifeguards and golf course). Kids have been participating in all their available activities - baseball, softball, football, wrestling. I sit far away from all the crowds at their games. Kids have their closest friends over, but those are kids in their activities anyway. We are shopping locally and online. All of them are headed back to FT F2F school along with the rest of our community, including college freshman in the dorms.
Kids and I flew to GA for a week on the beach last month. We had a private beach house and kept our distance while participating in only outside activities, but we noted the drinking crowds in other areas of the island.
Dh and oldest ds are at a wrestling tournament today in South Dakota. They went loaded up with masks and sanitizer, and I am sure they are distancing as much as possible. Ds is in a hard spot. He’s a state ranked wrestler, and he has attracted college scouts. He has limited time to accomplish his next level goals, which I know includes dreams of bigger college teams looking at him.
Dd mentioned back to school shopping yesterday. She’s thinking the mall like usual, but that won’t be happening.