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Please give me feedback on my second grader's writing


mom2vikha
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Following is a story she wrote yesterday . Please correct it and let me know if this is ok for second grader. Also ideas for improving!

 

The sleepovers

 

Mary woke up in Jane's bedroom. Jane was Mary's friend. But Mary made it through the night. Mary bolted down the stairs and shrieked with delight. Then the mothers of Jane and Mary made them have sleepovers after sleepovers. One night Mary got scared. Jane now has been putting pictures, posters and drawings of monsters. Jane had drew the pictures in perfect detail. Some were from swamps,caves and shara deserts. The people now Jane drew looked creepy,ghostly and terrifying. Mary's birthday was arriving plus Mary wondered if Jane would give her something ghostly like Draculara from latest Monster High section. Mary was beginning to get suspicious of Jane or were her illusions she used to have are coming back. One Saturday morning Mary quit on going to Jane's house. Jane realized on the same day that the monster stuff she put in her room was scaring Mary away. So When it was time to clean up Jane's room, She took down all the monster stuff. Next Jane called Mary and told her that she was sorry and Mary could have sleepovers again. the end

 

Moral

 

when something scares your friends, you take it down.

 

Bring it on ladies :)

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