How do you begin making college choices?

[Ginevra]

How much of the early (8th-9th grade) decisions are your thoughts and how much input is coming from your child? What are the top considerations you have in mind? How much input do you attempt to have on what majors they choose?

 

Thoughts appreciated.

[regentrude]

What kind of decisions are made in 8th/9th grade?

I have a very ambitious and focused DD, but we are far from deciding anything. Just curious.

[Jane in NC]

We felt that no matter what our son's future path, we wanted him to have a well rounded and rigorous high school education. High school, in my opinion, is not the time to specialize, although it can be a perfect time for homeschoolers to cultivate special interests.

 

Around 8th and 9th grade, our plan was for my son to study History and read the Great Books ala TWTM. We knew that we would study Latin and we had ambitiously hoped to add French as well. Science and Mathematics would be studied each year. Would there be time for anything else?

 

As things played out, we took advantage of opportunities and designed some of our homeschool program around them. These opportunities included competitive teams (FLL in 9th, Envirothon in 9th and 10th), CC classes and a local archaeological field school. I did not envision some of these things when my son was in 8th which is why I always caution parents not to be rigid in their planning. Further, while my son did study Latin for four years, it was clear that four years of French was just too ambitious with everything else on his plate. He quit French after two and a half years. (Which is not to say that your student cannot do two or three languages! Part of the language issue, I believe, depends upon your resources for conversation, etc.)

 

The OP asks a question about majors. I assume you are referring to a college major. You may want to read this thread. Again, I see high school as a time to provide a solid background for many of lives paths. That said, I do think high school students need to be actively involved in their educations. For example, my son has always loved Henry V so when we studied Shakespeare, we read other Bolingbroke plays (Richard II, Henry IV part I) because these interested him.

 

Nan in Mass has written many helpful posts for parents of 8th and 9th graders.

 

Jane

[Ginevra]

What kind of decisions are made in 8th/9th grade?

 

For example, I want to visit some campuses and take tours beginning this summer. I want dd to begin to experience the variety of choices and see what is possible. Obviously, I don't have much difficulty just picking out some colleges within, say, a 200-mile radius and going to the colleges that *I* like and where *I* would like for her to go. But is that what parents usually do? Do they say, "Well I would like for her to go to Beautiful, Historic University," and then start visiting those places? How else does a kid start forming an idea about where to go?

 

I did not go to college out of high school (I'm attending now) and my parents never said a word about college. I'm pretty sure they were hoping we would NOT want to go to college. So I'm flying blind.

 

ETA: Jane, thanks for that. I'll check out your link. I think I've also read some things Nan wrote; she's brilliant!

Edited April 1, 2011 by Quill
added text

[Jane in NC]

Frankly the concept of "college" is fairly abstract for most 8th/9th graders. But I don't think it is a bad idea to visit colleges or do things at colleges so that students see that campuses are different.

 

Is there a college near you with a library you can use? Does the college have any summer or weekend programs for high school students? This starts a basic familiarity with a campus so that your student will have some measure of comparison.

 

The college decision making process for all too many students seems to boil down to passion for certain sports teams. I think it is a good idea just to take a stroll around a campus when passing by a college. This helps a student see what is large or small, urban or not. Perhaps it will help a kid see beyond basketball or football!

[Jane in NC]

For example, I want to visit some campuses and take tours beginning this summer. I want dd to begin to experience the variety of choices and see what is possible. Obviously, I don't have much difficulty just picking out some colleges within, say, a 200-mile radius and going to the colleges that *I* like and where *I* would like for her to go. But is that what parents usually do? Do they say, "Well I would like for her to go to Beautiful, Historic University," and then start visiting those places? How else does a kid start forming an idea about where to go?

 

 

My small town son did not see a problem with the tall towers housing first year students at an urban university to which he applied. ( I cringed internally.) He recently commented that he is so glad that he is in a smaller dorm at a smaller Liberal Arts College. He is relieved not to be subjected to the noise and weekend atmosphere in those towers! This is one of those things that I think a kid just has to realize for himself, you know? What do we parents know?? ;)

[Ginevra]

Frankly the concept of "college" is fairly abstract for most 8th/9th graders. But I don't think it is a bad idea to visit colleges or do things at colleges so that students see that campuses are different.

 

Is there a college near you with a library you can use? Does the college have any summer or weekend programs for high school students? This starts a basic familiarity with a campus so that your student will have some measure of comparison.

 

Those are great suggestions! We have done a little bit of this, but not at any particular college where I would like her to look. I have taken her to events at the community college (where I attend) and also to a local state school for a FLL competition. We also walked around the Yale campus when visiting friends in CT. Not really in the plans, but it was fun anyway!

 

The college decision making process for all too many students seems to boil down to passion for certain sports teams. I think it is a good idea just to take a stroll around a campus when passing by a college. This helps a student see what is large or small, urban or not. Perhaps it will help a kid see beyond basketball or football!

 

That is exactly one scenario I would like to avoid.I also think it's easy to consider a college that her cousins went to, for example, just because she's heard of it, but I don't want that to be a reason to look in a particular place.

 

 

My small town son did not see a problem with the tall towers housing first year students at an urban university to which he applied. ( I cringed internally.) He recently commented that he is so glad that he is in a smaller dorm at a smaller Liberal Arts College. He is relieved not to be subjected to the noise and weekend atmosphere in those towers! This is one of those things that I think a kid just has to realize for himself, you know? What do we parents know?? ;)

 

Interesting. Did he just realize this on his own? Or did you point it out to him in any fashion? That's where I'm worried I'm gonna get too involved for my own good. :tongue_smilie: I can easily see myself saying, "But honey, do you really want to be in that congested, noisy place? Look at those dorms!" Part of the trickiness is that dd is in fact, very much like me. We do have similar tastes and she has the same educational strengths I do. That makes it harder for me to separate whether I like or dislike something truly *for her* or for myself, because there's quite a bit of overlap there in the first place.

[Brenda in MA]

Danielle,

 

I like to think of the 8th/9th grade time to start assessing your child's gifts. I think for a good number of kids, these gifts start to become apparent at this age. What I mean by this, is to ask yourself what your child does with his/her free time. What TV shows, topics seem to be of special interest. What trips/local destinations seemed to really excite your child. I think you can begin to see if the child might have an inkling for literature, physics, history, drama, music, computers, building things, etc. Is he/she an introvert/extrovert? Does he/she have a heart for service?

 

Once I've noticed these things, I try to find opportunities for my child to do enrichment/outside activities in some of these areas. Encourage a child who likes to write to enter a poetry contest, take a summer camp for a week on writing, or drama or computers, etc. In other words, try and help the child investigate how deep his/her interest is. If she spends a week or two at a program on writing and finds she doesn't really like it that much, great, you've helped her to narrow her interests a bit. If she really likes writing, you can look for more opportunities in that same area.

 

I would never tell one of my children that he should definitely major in a certain area or that he's really only cut out for a certain profession. But, I think as a parent, and as a hs parent especially, we spend a lot of time with our children and we do have some insights into their gifts and talents. We also have the maturity and experience to know some potential paths forward that they might want to pursue. I like to think that it's our job to expose them to the possibilities.

 

I also agree with Jane and the others that a well-rounded high school education is important because children can change what they want to do later in high school or even in college, and having that well-rounded background will give them the maximum opportunities.

 

HTH,

Brenda

[Jane in NC]

 

Interesting. Did he just realize this on his own? Or did you point it out to him in any fashion? That's where I'm worried I'm gonna get too involved for my own good. :tongue_smilie:

 

As a graduate of an LAC, I wanted my son to go in the direction. Big fish, little pond. But I also knew that he needed a pragmatic backup (state U). Further, by the time my son applied to colleges, he had decided that he wanted to study classical archaeology. This limited the number of schools since many do not have undergraduate archaeology programs. One of the state archaeologists with whom my son had the chance to work advised him not to apply to universities with graduate archaeology programs. The small amount of money that comes into these departments would be funneled to grad students--not undergrads.

 

This last piece of advice helped channel my son toward the kinds of schools that I hoped he would attend.

 

From his own research, he learned that Boston University was The Best for what he wanted to do. We visited the campus and I came to the conclusion that he should go to grad school there--not undergrad. Yet I did not stop him from applying. He was accepted there but I think that our lack of enthusiasm and the minimal aid package steered him away. He had some attractive offers elsewhere and decided he did not want to leave undergrad with substantial loans. Whew!

 

A family friend is a retired high school counselor. She spent some time with my son after which she came up with a list of colleges for him to examine via the Internet. The school he attends was on her list--not ours. I think that these boards can also give you some ideas of colleges not on your radar.

 

But you are right. This is your child's college experience, neither yours nor the one you wished you had. I had to remind myself of that regularly. Still do.

 

Jane

[regentrude]

For example, I want to visit some campuses and take tours beginning this summer. I want dd to begin to experience the variety of choices and see what is possible. Obviously, I don't have much difficulty just picking out some colleges within, say, a 200-mile radius and going to the colleges that *I* like and where *I* would like for her to go. But is that what parents usually do? Do they say, "Well I would like for her to go to Beautiful, Historic University," and then start visiting those places? How else does a kid start forming an idea about where to go?

 

I did not go to college out of high school (I'm attending now) and my parents never said a word about college. I'm pretty sure they were hoping we would NOT want to go to college. So I'm flying blind.

 

 

Thanks for the explanation- I just was not sure what exactly you were thinking of.

With my 8th grader, we are not focusing on selecting a location, but we are showing her how (any) college works. She is attends events at the local university campus, audits a class so that she gets an idea what happens in class, what a lecture is, what kind of homework to expect. We frequently talk about student success and failure and the reasons thereof.

I am focusing on giving her a well-rounded rigorous education that prepares her for any major - science or humanities.

 

At this point, she is not sure what to major in, so for us it makes no sense to tour colleges, because the quality of the academic program in her field will be the deciding factor.

 

Btw, neither DH nor myself went to college in the United States; we came to this country after having finished our education in Europe. We do, however, teach at a university and so may be looking at college from a different angle.

[creekland]

By 9th grade with my oldest we hadn't done anything relating to specific colleges. He had been on the campus of a local college with a summer program, but that was it. We started actually visiting colleges his junior year and it worked out just fine.

 

Youngest son was in 7th and middle son was in 9th when oldest son was a junior. We took them to the colleges we visited, but let them wander around themselves when we did some of the more personal things. It was good for both of them to be able to wander and see what campuses were like. It's inspired them to be looking and considering options for themselves. They've already told me they prefer smaller to larger and suburban or more rural to city. They might change their preferences when the actual time to apply comes, but they have a basic idea of what they are looking at.

 

Middle son is now a junior, but we haven't had the funds to visit places like we did with oldest son (due to our personal economy). He's been looking at a lot of places online and making a list of those he likes and chucking those he doesn't. I've posted a few threads about what he is looking for and gotten some other suggestions of schools for him to consider. We still hope to make trips to see these places, but due to finances, those trips are likely to be this fall, not the spring of his junior year (which is my ideal).

 

Youngest son is now in 9th and just starting to really think about the whole college thing. He'll tag along with middle son for more exposure to more schools, but junior year will be when I really encourage him to start making actual lists.

 

In the meantime, we try for academic excellence and decent extra curriculars for all of them and have pointed out the differing levels of academics one needs for the different colleges. They won't shoot for above, or far below, their abilities. Even my youngest knows a poor grade in 9th grade can keep him from the top of the top schools (which he's not interested in, but he knows how it all works). They've seen both college success stories and college woe stories and bit by bit are piecing together thoughts in their mind that will hopefully help them finish on the success side of things. We share their thoughts with them when they want to share and always keep encouraging them to be certain their path is something they feel they want to do.

[mcconnellboys]

I didn't make any decisions regarding college for my child. We knew we wanted him to go to college; he was agreeable with that; we tried to give him a foundation that would allow that.

 

I began taking him on tours or just driving around campuses of both large and small colleges when he was in ninth grade so that he could begin to get a feel for the differences on different campuses. I also talked to him about differences in housing, class size, food, lifestyle, etc., etc.

 

I asked him about which colleges we should apply to and only sent out packets for him to those he wanted. He did declare a major on his applications, but is unsure whether he will stick with that or not.

 

I continue to provide him with info about various types of job that might involve his particular areas of interest, but he will ultimately make the decision about a major and his future work.

 

My main concern for this child was that he needed small teacher/student ratio to accommodate his auditory processing problems and he did opt for a smaller liberal arts college.

 

I might have liked to see him go further away but he wanted to remain closer to home and that is really easier for all of us, I think, so fine by me. He had a better scholarship offer at a school that was a little larger and further away than the one he chose, but I think he's still getting a sound education. He feels more comfortable being nearer the city where he grew up so that he can come here and do things on weekends, etc. if he wants.

 

He wanted a school that offered swimming although he didn't make up his mind about it until last minute. He has a sort of love/hate relationship with swimming, but is continuing with it at this time. I think the exercise is good for him and it also helped him have a ready made group when he got to school, so it helped him transition into school social life.

 

He is exceedingly social, although not that verbal, and had a chance to join a fraternity at this school that is not as noxious as some, so we encouraged it. It is another social outlet for him in a small town, and helps him get out and talk to others about what they are doing regarding their majors, future employment, etc. The more he hears from others on these points the better....