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Wedding contribution/gift from parents to child questions


Kassia
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4 hours ago, Rosla said:

Our children won't get married soon, so we have time, but we want to put money aside for college first and only then think about their weddings. If we can afford it, we will contribute money.

My niece had a small wedding last summer. My sister and her husband couldn't help much financially. They bought engraved bracelets as gifts for the bride and groom and also helped to organize the event in their backyard. You know, I liked that wedding even more than those big events I attended several times. Everything was simple but nice, and the atmosphere was warm. 

Our nephew ended up having his wedding in their backyard, complete with a dance.  They let all the neighbors know what to expect, and it was great!

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1 hour ago, Condessa said:

And do you choose an age at which to just gift that wedding money anyway, rather than have a child who doesn’t marry never be offered that help?

Typically 35 years old for my paternal and maternal side of the family as I have relatives who married late and relatives who didn’t get married. The “wedding money” can be use for wedding, mortgage, buying stuff for their marital homes, so not restricted to wedding expenses.
My husband’s relatives do not give the “wedding money” to their unmarried children. They are very traditional and think that unmarried adult children are staying home so there is no mortgage to pay for and so no need to gift any money. There is also the unfair expectation that unmarried children would be the primary caregivers when their parents need looking after. My late aunt has a clause in her will that the family home would only be sold after her two unmarried daughters pass so that her daughters won’t be homeless. 
 

ETA:

The unmarried daughters with no personal homes from my side and my husband’s side have all worked in the family business and did not choose to stay single. They won’t given a choice to not work for the family. My unmarried relatives with their own homes were the ones who don’t have a family business to work for. 

Edited by Arcadia
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