Quiet time

[Clarita]

My 4.5 year old and 3 year old feel like they are on the cusp of giving up naps. My 4.5 year old has been giving up naps once or twice a week for a few months. If he's the only one who gives up nap then I usually have him work on a "learning" activity (usually one that his sister tends to disturb him on), then he has free play/leave mommy alone time. My 3 year old is starting to give up naps, then the problem is how do I manage that? Or what is a reasonable expectation?

In my head I'm thinking they should work on stuff or play individually. I feel like they need a break from each other as much as I need a break from them. Also what is a reasonable amount of time for quiet time. Right now we do about 2 hours because that is how long they nap.

[historically accurate]

We did BOB time ("Books on Bed") for years after my kids gave up naps. It was 1 1/2 hours daily, and we missed for nothing. They were allowed a stack of books to look through. As they got older, I allowed quiet play in their rooms (one did it in my room as we have 3 kids/2 kid bedrooms). If they got rowdy, then it was back to books only for a while. 

[wendyroo]

We always did about 2 hours of "quiet" time with each child alone in their room. It was never super quiet - my kids played with cars or Duplos or Imaginext, etc - but taking a break from being together really helped them regulate themselves.

They always had books, their lovey, some toys, and one toy that made noise (I hate toys with batteries, but would pick them up at the thrift store specifically for quiet time). I would rotate their selection every week or two, and would occasionally really spice things up by blowing up some balloons for them (if they were old enough not to choke on them), or setting up the play tent in their room so they could pretend camp, or letting them use the PVC pipe I had bent into a curve so they could send their cars down the ramp and launch them across the room, or letting them open a big collection of junk mail to see what treasures they could find, etc.

[Tree Frog]

We did something similar to @wendyroo. The kids had 2 hours daily with books on the beds. Once in a while I would allow a special toy or puzzle to join them, but they needed to stay quiet. When it looked like they were giving up their naps, I told them they needed to lay quietly for a little while before "reading" books. I explicitly told them they didn't need to take a nap if they could be quiet (with a few reminders periodically). If they couldn't be quiet, they would need to put the books away and go to sleep. After losing the books a couple of times, they learned to be quiet. I also put an analog clock in their room and told them they could come out when the short hand was on the ___ (number)  and the long hand was on the ___ (number). Sometimes I would draw the lines with a marker so they could see when they matched up. The kids couldn't necessarily tell time, but they knew there was an ending to quiet time. I think many times, they just watched the hands on the clock move while they waited.

That time was my sanity time! I frequently needed it more than they did. Though it morphed into a quiet play time, we continued it through elementary school. If we had something else we needed to do out of the house, we would do it during quiet time. It really reset the rest of the day.

 

Edited August 3, 2021 by wilrunner

[Clarita]

5 hours ago, wendyroo said:

taking a break from being together really helped them regulate themselves.

I've found that too which is why I want them to stay away from each other. My oldest can do that no problem, my youngest has a hard time. While I teach her to do independent play from me, my son just tries to entertain her until he loses his cool. (which is even more entertaining for her)

1 hour ago, wilrunner said:

I also put an analog clock in their room and told them they could come out when the short hand was on the ___ (number)  and the long hand was on the ___ (number). Sometimes I would draw the lines with a marker so they could see when they matched up. The kids couldn't necessarily tell time, but they knew there was an ending to quiet time.

I love this.