becoming independent learners

[omishev]

I have heard that someday it will happen. Someday I will teach the lesson (or they may even teach themselves) and they will scurry off and do their work. I will be available for questions but they won't need my undivided attention every second. Right now I am in the thick of it with an ADD 8 yr old, OCD 6 yr old, mischievous 4 yr old and needy 1 yr old and that feels like a dream. I know I am a long way off but do you have a game plan for how to get from point A to point B?

[Clemsondana]

With my kids, I could encourage it by having things that they could do on their own - handwriting, a reading comprehension workbook page - that I expected them to do on their own. At times it became a thing - maybe a 'pround of myself' independence step - for them to have those things done by the time I was ready to start school.  But, there was nothing I did to make independence happen.  One kid has been very independent since they were 7.  The other alternates between wanting to work by themselves and only wanting to work if I'm sitting beside them, and they are in middle school.  

[LMD]

SWB has a great talk on this, well worth a listen:

https://welltrainedmind.com/p/teaching-students-to-work-independently-mp3/?v=6cc98ba2045f

[wendyroo]

I'm going to quote a couple of my old posts from when my kids were younger. Maybe something will be of help:

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Since I am managing 4 small children, getting kids working independently is a high priority for me.  Not independent like they go off somewhere to work alone (none of my children can successfully stay on task if they are out of my sight), but independent in that I can check in every 5-10 minutes to clarify, encourage and troubleshoot, and then they will continue to work on a small, clearly defined task somewhat diligently while I cycle though the other children.  Even my 2 year old is part of the cycle and encouraged toward independence, though her task might be to work on getting her pajama shirt off for a few minutes until I come back to check on her...then I have the 9 year old read me one of his Killgallon sentences to make sure he is successfully following the model, I check the last couple Beast Academy problems the 7 year old has done to make sure he is still on track, I glance at the 4 year old's Explode the Code work and answer a question he has about an unclear picture, and then I go back to clap for a very proud little girl who is now completely naked.

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We are starting our school year in about a week.  I will have a 2nd grader, a Ker, a not quite 3 year old and a baby.

 

The Ker tags along with the 2nd grader for all the content subjects...he really doesn't like playing alone and would much prefer "doing school" with us.

 

Our routine:

7-8am - Up, dressed, chores, breakfast (I read aloud to them from a novel), tidy the table

 

8-9am - 3 year old and Ker play in the play room while I do writing, spelling, Spanish, piano and a few odds and ends with the 2nd grader (the baby hangs out with us)

 

9-9:30 - Clean up the play room, have a snack (while I read picture books of their choice), put the baby down for her nap and get the 3 year old settled playing by himself in his room

 

9:30-10:30 - Together school with 2nd grader and Ker.  Science, history, poetry memorization, handwriting, geography, art.

 

10:30-lunch - Live life

 

Right after lunch - 3 year old down for nap while the baby plays by herself for a bit and I do math with the big boys (individually)

 

1-3pm - Rest time for all

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My kids are more or less the same ages as yours.  Peter will turn 9 in a few months; he has autism, ADD and anxiety.  Elliot will turn 7 at the end of May; he has ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder, and a speech delay.  Spencer is 4.5; he has a speech delay and I am 95% sure he will be diagnosed with ADHD next year when he is tested.  Audrey is almost 2.5; she is largely non-verbal and is a spit-fire of a toddler.

 

In the last year we have really hit our stride around here.  Things are still hard (I think inevitable with this mix of kids), and the idea of "me time" is a pipe dream, but we are all thriving physically, socially, emotionally and educationally.

 

Some things that are really helping us:

1 - Medication.  My two oldest take meds for ADHD and also to help them sleep, and my oldest also takes anti-anxiety meds.  This has made a HUGE difference in our house.  It has really been life changing for all of us.

 

2 - I am incredibly picky about extracurriculars.  We do something almost every day of the week, but we find activities that work into our schedule rather than juggling our schedule around the activities.  Pretty much every day follows the same general routine:  Breakfast and school from 7-10am, then a snack and leave for an extracurricular.  Back home for lunch and the littles go up for rest time.  Math for the older two and then they have rest time.  If an activity doesn't fit into that time frame, then it probably isn't right for us.  Also, I heavily favor extracurriculars that can include most of my children.  For example, homeschool time at the gym has a class for 2-5 year olds and another for 6-12 year olds.  Everyone gets to participate and I get to sit and breathe for an hour.

 

3 - Right after breakfast I focus on "school" for the little two while the older two do independent work (handwriting, xtramath, duolingo).  Within 20 minutes the 2 and 4 year olds have done a little phonics, math and fine motor work, and have listened to a story.  I then send them off to play together (insist on it in fact) while I do school with the older kids.  I start out with history or science, which are my 8 year old's favorites, so that participating in school seems way more fun than playing with "the babies".

 

4 - Speaking of history and science.  Mentally I can only juggle one at a time, so we alternate them by semester.  We do science every day for the first semester which allows us to cover a year's worth of science in half the time.  Then we do the same for history.  I view both science and history as exposure subjects, so I require no output at these ages.  This keeps them fun, and greatly reduces how long it takes to get through them.

 

5 - We fit in a tremendous amount of academics by splitting them into short sessions and anchoring them to meals and other set times in our routine.  For example, math is always right after lunch - 7 days a week, the children automatically know to clear their places and immediately start their math.  During breakfast we review Spanish flashcards, practice speech therapy homework, read poetry, listen to a read aloud, watch CNN10 and watch a Spanish video.

 

6 - I am diligent about teaching and delegating chores.  It takes a lot of perseverance and mental energy on my part to ensure the kids are fulfilling their obligations, but as long as I diligently enforce the system, it actually does relieve some of my work load.  I set the kids up for success, and me up for less frustration, by providing a lot of chore scaffolding.  I post detailed instructions for exactly how I want them to clean the bathrooms.  I give them a checklist to carry around to ensure they collect all the garbages around the house.  I post pictures next to toy shelves showing what they should look like when they are properly cleaned.

 

[omishev]

Thanks, Wendy! I would love to be a fly on the wall in your house. It sounds like you have a great system. My only concern is it looks like you are always teaching during meals. When do you get to eat?!? haha! I think I will make a list of things I want each kid to work towards doing independently and tackle those along with our academics. For example, I am still putting my 4 yo's socks and velcro shoes on for him. I think it stems from always feeling rushed, not having the time to wait for him to do it himself. Clearly, putting some time and energy into teaching and requiring independence would have paid off. 

[omishev]

23 hours ago, Clemsondana said:

With my kids, I could encourage it by having things that they could do on their own - handwriting, a reading comprehension workbook page - that I expected them to do on their own. At times it became a thing - maybe a 'pround of myself' independence step - for them to have those things done by the time I was ready to start school.  But, there was nothing I did to make independence happen.  One kid has been very independent since they were 7.  The other alternates between wanting to work by themselves and only wanting to work if I'm sitting beside them, and they are in middle school.  

Thanks for sharing! At this point I still have to watch even my oldest to make sure she is forming her letters correctly (un-learning bad habits from her years in school) and she is not reading well enough to do it on her own but we are getting there!