Jean in Newcastle Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 My brother and his wife have lived overseas for the past 10 years so they have not been part of our holiday traditions during that time. Now Thanksgiving is coming up and without thinking I've committed to our usual deal with my in-laws. I want to ask my brother and his wife if they expect to do something with us for Thanksgiving or Christmas without quite coming out and saying "so, do you expect to do something with us?" I know if someone else asked this I would be able to come up with some polite nice question but somehow I'd spacing out when it comes to myself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 How about something like, "We normally go over to in-laws for Thanksgiving, but I wanted to check with you guys about your holiday plans for this year. We're so glad to have you back and want to make sure that we get time in together this year. What would you like to do for Christmas?" Or, we are going to in-laws for dinner, but we were hoping to get together with you for pie in the evening. What are your plans?" I'm assuming that you want to get together with them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 If you're just wondering if they expect to be spending the holidays with you I'd just ask what their plans were for the holidays. You know casually "Man, the holidays are around the corner. Have you finalized your plans?". Or, I'd say something like, "Well, I've just talked with (in-laws name) about our usual annual festivities. Have you made any plans?" (And of course at this point you could, if you wanted to, include them in your plans with the in-laws?) I think you could even safely include a line about you not being used to having them in the country during the holidays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 18, 2008 Author Share Posted November 18, 2008 Thanks! That was so easy wasn't it! And yes, Mindy I would like to get together with them if they're free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamnkats Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Well, as someone heading back to family after 4 years I sure hope no-one asks me what our plans are because I assumed they were with everyone else! They might also be making this assumption if the country they live in is very family oriented (like ours is). If a relative of mine asked me what my plans were for the holiday I'd be incredibly insulted and feel very rejected! How about assuming they're coming, "so, are you guys headed to X for Turkey Day or were you planning to do something else?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 But I'm realizing not all families are the same. We have a family member that lives overseas but comes home every few months and it's a given we'll get together with him. But even within my family, in my small town, we do ask each other what our plans are because each of us also have family on our spouses side so it's not a given that we spend a holiday with one side over the other. (That sounds jumbled, but you get what I mean. :)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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