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Can I throw her a shower?


PeachyDoodle
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My BIL (DH's brother) is getting married in June. It's his second marriage, but the first for his fiance. It will be very small, only immediate family on our side. 

 

I would like to throw a bridal shower for my SIL-to-be and invite DH's aunts and maybe his female cousins. DH's parents are divorced and I am really the only one who could get away with inviting both sides of the family. But since they won't be invited to the wedding, I can't decide if it would be ok to invite them to a shower. 

 

I suppose we could do an engagement party instead, but that means a much larger guest list, and I'm not sure we can afford that. I just hate for our family not to do something special to welcome her.

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I wouldn't invite people to a shower or engagement party when they aren't being invited to the wedding. The exception would be if co-workers wanted to do a casual shower at work, just among the co-workers. Or a Sunday School class (and other similar groups).

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I do think engagement or shower is sticky because of the non-invite to the actual wedding.  But after the wedding, I think having a small celebratory party with the small guest list of your choice to get that group together would be great!   I have been to a couple events like that. I wouldn't include gift/registry info with those invites but I bet some people will bring gifts.

 

I've seen invites kind of like this ... (hope this links ok)

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/387591111652849697/

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My daughter is having a catered reception for friends and family after their courthouse wedding that no one is invited to.

My family had a shower for my niece (her aunts and cousins) before her out of state courthouse wedding when only the bride's father, the groom's mother, and sister were invited.

I think a reception to meet the bride after the wedding makes it less confusing for guests.

Edited by Homeschool Mom in AZ
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