Does this bother you, re:gift giving

[happi duck]

I would stop giving gifts, even cash, for a while. Not as a "boycott" or anything like that. But just to kind of 'reset' things with her.

 

It just sounds like the gifts aren't that important to her, yet she sees they're very important to you, so she's feeling pressured somehow. I'd work on removing that pressure and straightening out the relationship.

 

Fwiw, one of my dd's is similar. She even tells us NOT to give her gifts because she doesn't "need" anything. So we take her somewhere and bake her a cake and stuff like that. That makes her happy and it's actually easier for us, too.

 

Maybe you need to figure out how your dd enjoys celebrating things if it's not with gifts??

I like the reset idea. Also, figuring out how one celebrates is a good way to frame it.

[happi duck]

Some people are difficult, and their reactions to gifts that were thoughtfully selected and given with love are consistently irritating. Ask me how I know.

 

We give that person money. It's better than giving nothing, which is how we felt at times.

I didn't mean to say that cash is never an appropriate gift.

 

I was suggesting that before taking the advice to give cash to consider how it would be received.

 

Sorry for my lack of clarity!

 

Fwiw, to me, not giving gifts is an option. For example, my brother doesn't like gifts and is basically "meh" and gives them to charity pretty quickly. I don't buy him gifts because it doesn't communicate anything to him. Instead, I'm sure to be a really good listener to him because that's how he feels loved.

[mominco]

Take her shopping for clothes twice or thrice a year and tell her those are her Birthday/Christmas gifts!

 

That way you are going with her and buying the things she needs and you are not giving her a gift card(esp if she forgets to use them)

and you will have the joy of seeing her using the gifts.