ILiveInFlipFlops Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Is there any hope of that at all? My kids are 9 and 12, and I feel like I'm constantly reminding, threatening, arguing, insisting, monitoring, being the heavy, etc. I know that's my job, but I'm so very tired of no one being able to care for themselves or get their schoolwork done or do their chores or whatever without me having to strong arm them over everything. Suggestions? Or is this pretty much just what's required at this point? I'm open to the idea that my expectations are too high, so if that's the case, I can accept it. But I'm feeling very worn out with having to shoulder constant responsibility for everyone but DH around here these days. Any thoughts are welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 You don't have to be responsible for dh? My suggestion is pick the thing that annoys you the most and make it more painful for them if you have to remind/intercede than for them to just do whatever it is. It is surprisingly liberating to be working on the one big thing. As a bonus, the others come easier because everybody knows where you're heading. Oh, and I found that the others annoyed me less, for a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 You don't have to be responsible for dh? :lol: No, thank goodness! He's pretty self-maintaining. Of course, the flip side of that is he really only takes care of himself most of the time, so that still leaves me with just about everything else. But I'll count my blessings where they happen! And thanks, that's good advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I restarted this week with the chore lists. I used to use them and they work.........if mom gets them done. Anyway, each child has a chore list which is a 1/2 page list of things to do in the morning, before free time, before bed. I have the basics like brush your teeth, put on deodorant on there as well as daily rotated chores and then 1-2 blank lines for me to add in any special chores for the day. It works SOOOO well as they can SEE what they have to do and mom isn't nagging. if they don't want to do a chore they can a: ask a sibling to switch a chore with them or B; pay someone else part of their allowance to do the chore Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 I restarted this week with the chore lists. I used to use them and they work.........if mom gets them done. Anyway, each child has a chore list which is a 1/2 page list of things to do in the morning, before free time, before bed. I have the basics like brush your teeth, put on deodorant on there as well as daily rotated chores and then 1-2 blank lines for me to add in any special chores for the day. It works SOOOO well as they can SEE what they have to do and mom isn't nagging. if they don't want to do a chore they can a: ask a sibling to switch a chore with them or B; pay someone else part of their allowance to do the chore What do you do when they just don't do the chores on them? What's the consequence? I've used chore charts successfully in the past, but they only worked when I stayed RIGHT on top of them while they did their stuff, nagging and checking the whole time. After a month or so, I tried to back away and devote my attention to other stuff and we were back to square one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 What do you do when they just don't do the chores on them? What's the consequence? I've used chore charts successfully in the past, but they only worked when I stayed RIGHT on top of them while they did their stuff, nagging and checking the whole time. After a month or so, I tried to back away and devote my attention to other stuff and we were back to square one. Well, in our house their allowance $ is a big motivator.............esp. with a sibling willing to earn if it they don't do their own chores. So if child A does not want to sweep the floor, or forgets, or refuses, etc. then child B or C can do it for them but then child A gets 50 cents to $1 less in their allowance on Friday and the other one gets more. They may willingly trade jobs---if they both agree. Like today one didn't want to sweep so she traded and gathered trash while another child did the sweeping. If the $ thing isn't a big enough motivator, there is no "fun" until chores are done-----no screen time, no friend time, no outside activities, etc............motivation works well if one child is done and gets to go away while other child has to stay home to finish their chores and misses out.........providing that they did have ample time to complete them. For example if school work takes until noon and then they have lunch and you need to leave by 12:45 for something it isn't fair to say they must get 4 chores done when they haven't had the time to do them.............if though it is 4pm and they have been avoiding them for 3 hours then the child just misses out. Most of answers are along the lines of "sure you may (get a snack, watch TV, play on the computer play with a friend, etc) .......... as soon as your chore list is done". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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