Another menopause Q just for women: planning

[AMJ]

To be honest, it didn't strike me as a lot different from all the years before.  Because before, it if started (sometimes unexpectedly) I could be caught somewhere with terrible cramps and throwing up.  (But I always always carried supplies.  Cause things weren't always that predictable)

 

Just -- carry your supplies and have a couple changes of underwear handy.  Usually, you'll catch it soon enough.  I couldn't wear "protection" every day.  I'd get a rash.

 

The big problem has not been when it starts, but when it ends.  Cause it'll look like it's ended.  Might go a day or two.  And then, with no warning, big time bleeding. And THAT doesn't start slow.  Nor will any feminine products anywhere do anything to stop it, if you're unlucky like some of us.  You just have to find a toilet and sit for an hour or so.

 

I call these "gushers".  DH gets a little squeamish about TMI, but it gets the point across about why I'm not coming out, despite having flushed 3 times.

[AMJ]

To be honest, it didn't strike me as a lot different from all the years before.  Because before, it if started (sometimes unexpectedly) I could be caught somewhere with terrible cramps and throwing up.  (But I always always carried supplies.  Cause things weren't always that predictable)

 

Just -- carry your supplies and have a couple changes of underwear handy.  Usually, you'll catch it soon enough.  I couldn't wear "protection" every day.  I'd get a rash.

 

The big problem has not been when it starts, but when it ends.  Cause it'll look like it's ended.  Might go a day or two.  And then, with no warning, big time bleeding. And THAT doesn't start slow.  Nor will any feminine products anywhere do anything to stop it, if you're unlucky like some of us.  You just have to find a toilet and sit for an hour or so.

 

One point on carrying clean undies:  carry them in a small ziploc bag.  The bag will keep the panties clean in the purse, tote, or pocket, and will give you a way of corralling the sloppy undies if you have to change.

[G5052]

Okay, the one solid piece of advice I can give you is:  drop all expectations.

 

I'm serious.  I have discovered that part of the reason why I could never get a straight answer out of anyone regarding menopause is that it's different for absolutely everybody.  I have be "peri"menupausal for 8 years and counting, and I still don't know when I will officially cross over into menopause.  It's been dragging on that long for me.

 

For many women it's over and done with quickly.  For others "it can take years, perhaps as many as 5" I was told.  I'm here to tell you there's no way to tell how long it will take until you are finally finished, and then you still can't be absolutely sure.

 

 

I went to a seminar at the hospital with two middle-aged OB/GYNs, and they said this over and over.  Even as women themselves with access to all the options and research, they had drastically different experiences themselves.

 

They said that if you are having trouble sleeping, bleeding excessively, or are otherwise just plain miserable, to see a doctor.  They are doctors who are very knowledgeable about both alternative and traditional approaches, and they recommended of course trying alternative approaches before going on hormones and/or scheduling surgery.  

 

The older one said that she tells her patients to expect some level of discomfort. Having periods and being pregnant are things that we go through that are unpleasant, and we expect that. Expect some discomfort with perimenopause and menopause too.  However, if it begins to affect your overall health and you can't get some improvement with what you're going through, get help.

 

I had my first hot fiash 15 years ago this month, and have been perimenopausal ever since.  Right now I'm managing well, but I plan to see one of them if that changes.  I did have to add some herbs last year to help me with sleeping, but otherwise I'm largely symptom free.  I'll have a rogue hot flash here and there and am warm most of the time, but I'm OK with that.  

[AMJ]

I went to a seminar at the hospital with two middle-aged OB/GYNs, and they said this over and over.  Even as women themselves with access to all the options and research, they had drastically different experiences themselves.

 

They said that if you are having trouble sleeping, bleeding excessively, or are otherwise just plain miserable, to see a doctor.  They are doctors who are very knowledgeable about both alternative and traditional approaches, and they recommended of course trying alternative approaches before going on hormones and/or scheduling surgery.  

 

The older one said that she tells her patients to expect some level of discomfort. Having periods and being pregnant are things that we go through that are unpleasant, and we expect that. Expect some discomfort with perimenopause and menopause too.  However, if it begins to affect your overall health and you can't get some improvement with what you're going through, get help.

 

I had my first hot fiash 15 years ago this month, and have been perimenopausal ever since.  Right now I'm managing well, but I plan to see one of them if that changes.  I did have to add some herbs last year to help me with sleeping, but otherwise I'm largely symptom free.  I'll have a rogue hot flash here and there and am warm most of the time, but I'm OK with that.  

 

In this seminar you attended did they ever define the point where perimenopause ends and menopause begins?  I have a sneaky suspicion that in my family, at least, certain symptoms (like hot flashes) stop short of death.  Is there any official, however arbitrary, delineation point?

 

[G5052]

In this seminar you attended did they ever define the point where perimenopause ends and menopause begins?  I have a sneaky suspicion that in my family, at least, certain symptoms (like hot flashes) stop short of death.  Is there any official, however arbitrary, delineation point?

 

 

The medical definition of menopause is no periods for a year.  But certainly you can have hot flashes well after that.  A friend of mine who is 80 still has them.

[AMJ]

The medical definition of menopause is no periods for a year. But certainly you can have hot flashes well after that. A friend of mine who is 80 still has them.

Oh, goodie. I just might be a yo-yo, then. I had no periods for many many months (might actually have been a year) in between my two bouts of months-long flows. I'm just glad that pattern didn't set and I'm back to business on a smaller scale, however unpredictable.

[flyingiguana]

But that solution doesn't interest me at all.  I keep reminding myself that for oodles of years women dealt with this just fine.  This too shall pass - someday!

 

Yeah, me too.  My dr kept saying hysterectomies are so much easier these days.  Probably they are, but I've seen several people recovering from them, and they don't look that easy. 

 

My sil was basically bleeding all the time.  With cramps.  So I understand her decision.

 

I keep hearing that ablation is the way to go -- but it's still kind of surgery.  I guess.  I don't know.  It sounded invasive.

 

I didn't find a dr who had any other options to offer for the bleeding.

 

And neither of these will help with hot flashes.

 

My big problem with hot flashes is that they hurt.  I get a terrible pain -- mostly in my forehead, although it can be in other places.  It kind of feels like a blood vessel is going to burst.

 

But -- for anyone worrying about losing their sanity during this time, it doesn't happen to everyone.  I've been on a pretty even keel.  (Other people have told me they wanted to murder the entire rest of the world....)