Interesting article on complements ...

[Kathie in VA]

He saying that it is better to complement a students struggle and success then how smart or clever he is. Ok I realize this is a bit of advertising for the Kahn Academy but I do like the idea of switching my mindset to highlighting the struggle more then their intelligence. ... Though I did get a really weird look from ds (14) when I said "Yay, you grew your brain"

 

https://www.khanacademy.org/about/blog/post/95208400815/the-learning-myth-why-ill-never-tell-my-son-hes?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_term=All%20Users&utm_campaign=Sal%20Op-ed%20Email%20%28Students%20-%20Remaining%29&utm_content=Final

[hornblower]

Yes, this problem with saying "wow, you're so smart" is that when the child gets to hard stuff (& they will) they might think to themselves "I guess people were wrong. I'm not smart. I was just fooling them. I can't do this."

Complimenting effort is a whole different thing. "wow, you worked hard/you tried hard/you really put in a lot of effort" transfers into resilience when hard things need to be learned later on.


For an adult perspective, consider this article from Atlantic about why writers are the worst procrastinators:

"We were too good in English class. This sounds crazy, but hear me out.

Most writers were the kids who easily, almost automatically, got A's in English class. (There are exceptions, but they often also seem to be exceptions to the general writerly habit of putting off writing as long as possible.) At an early age, when grammar school teachers were struggling to inculcate the lesson that effort was the main key to success in school, these future scribblers gave the obvious lie to this assertion. Where others read haltingly, they were plowing two grades ahead in the reading workbooks. These are the kids who turned in a completed YA novel for their fifth-grade project. It isn’t that they never failed, but at a very early age, they didn’t have to fail much; their natural talents kept them at the head of the class.

This teaches a very bad, very false lesson: that success in work mostly depends on natural talent."

http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/02/why-writers-are-the-worst-procrastinators/283773/

 

 

[Kidlit]

After watching that video, I started saving my "brilliant" stamp for my girls' work that they really struggle through.