miracleone Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Hey ladies, I don't know if I am in the right forum but could use some advice whether we need to switch piano teacher or not. Teacher #1 - is a highly knowledgeable music teacher, director of music dept. of a private school, teaches bell and church choirs, very multitasking person, impatient but not an unkind person. Price is right (actually very cheap considering her credentials) She recommended that my daughter participate in the Certificate of Merit program. Daughter (11 years old) has been her student for 3 years. However, 3 weeks ago, daughter had a crying episode during lesson; not due to lack of practice but she later told me that when her teacher was asking her about a note and she couldn't get it, teacher got impatient and raise her voice, gave a big sigh of being impatient. When dd started crying, teacher tried hard to make her happy again but she was just an emotional mess. She had a headache all day after the lesson. She said she wants me to tell her teacher to be "nice." She is not thrilled going to her lessons every week yet she doesn't want to quit. So I decided to let her take a break this month to try different teacher. There is teacher #2, who would come to my house, her fee is slightly higher than teacher #1. She is not part of the organization that does CM but she is classically trained and an experienced teacher. She seemed nice and patient. Don't know if my daughter is having a misplaced guilt or not but she wants to go back to her old teacher because she thinks teacher #1 gives her a lot of tips in piano. She is not sure if teacher #2 can do that and of course we can't say until we try her out for more than a month. My questions are: Should we switch teacher just because she was impatient? Teacher #1 called to apologize and also wanted to speak with my daughter to apologize. Is it normal for kids to cry during piano lessons? Do your children enjoy their lessons? My dd is not enjoying piano as much and don't know if a switch with be good yet I am not sure if it's really necessary? Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duckens Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Please do not feel that you need to answer any of the following questions here, but if I was the parent, the answers would guide me. What is the goal here? Enjoyment? A hobby to maybe or maybe not follow her into adulthood? To receive a good musical basis to later transition to replacement instrument? To play piano at church? To play at Carnagie Hall? To have teaching piano as a "fall-back" or "extra income" option when she is grown? To major in music in college, with a musical career? What is your goal (for music) for your daughter? What is your daughter's goal musically? If your daughter wants a serious musical career, the Teacher A may be a better choice. Otherwise, I'd go with B. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is your daughter a Type A personality or Type B? Is she intense and serious and motivated? If she is a Type A, she may be happier with Teacher A, in spite of some tears. What do you suppose Mozart was like as a teacher? ------------------------------------------------------------- You may not know the capabilities of Teacher B until the end of a few months. If I had a new student to teach XYZ, it would take time for me to learn what the student knows and doesn't know, what they are capable of comprehending, and the best way to present XYZ for that specific child. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Unless the pay of Teacher B is double the pay of Teacher A, I would happily pay someone to come to my child's home. I could homeschool my other child, wash dishes, or take a little nap. There is also cost of gas/wear-and-tear on car to transport, and time spent traveling (driving) that other things are not getting done. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- As for tears, yes, sometimes my dd6 cries at Piano. And math. And even the beloved Dinosaurs curriculum. This is usually linked to tiredness in our situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bakpak Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 I agree with the previous poster's questions needing to be answered as well as the comments. Also, I remember starting to get more emotional and sensitive around 10/11, so it could be a combination of your daughter's sensitivity ramping up, as well as Teacher A's impatient personality. I suspect your daughter wanting to go back to Teacher A and Teacher A calling to apologize are good signs. No one's perfect...she could have just been having a bad day. However, if that behavior is consistent, she may not be the best role model. Maybe a sit-down with Teacher A (not a lesson) would be a good thing, to discuss the issues and after that see if you'd both like to resume. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoZeeCo's Mom Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 IT sounds to me like our daughter was having a bad day. Maybe the combination of frustration and her teacher being impatient was just a little too much for her that day. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't think I would switch my kid from a teacher they seem to be learning a lot from just because the teacher sometimes gets impatient. If it becomes something that keeps getting more intense, I would remove my child from the situation, of course, but I expect my kids will sometimes have people annoyed with them. Do you sit in her lessons? I would try doing that, if possible, to listen to what's going on. I don't know your daughter, but I doubt it's as bad as all that if she is asking to go back to the teacher. ETA: Only you know your daughter, of course. I would definitely let her weigh in on this one, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Hey ladies, I don't know if I am in the right forum but could use some advice whether we need to switch piano teacher or not. Teacher #1 - is a highly knowledgeable music teacher, director of music dept. of a private school, teaches bell and church choirs, very multitasking person, impatient but not an unkind person. Price is right (actually very cheap considering her credentials) She recommended that my daughter participate in the Certificate of Merit program. Daughter (11 years old) has been her student for 3 years. However, 3 weeks ago, daughter had a crying episode during lesson; not due to lack of practice but she later told me that when her teacher was asking her about a note and she couldn't get it, teacher got impatient and raise her voice, gave a big sigh of being impatient. When dd started crying, teacher tried hard to make her happy again but she was just an emotional mess. She had a headache all day after the lesson. She said she wants me to tell her teacher to be "nice." She is not thrilled going to her lessons every week yet she doesn't want to quit. So I decided to let her take a break this month to try different teacher. There is teacher #2, who would come to my house, her fee is slightly higher than teacher #1. She is not part of the organization that does CM but she is classically trained and an experienced teacher. She seemed nice and patient. Don't know if my daughter is having a misplaced guilt or not but she wants to go back to her old teacher because she thinks teacher #1 gives her a lot of tips in piano. She is not sure if teacher #2 can do that and of course we can't say until we try her out for more than a month. My questions are: Should we switch teacher just because she was impatient? Teacher #1 called to apologize and also wanted to speak with my daughter to apologize. Is it normal for kids to cry during piano lessons? Do your children enjoy their lessons? My dd is not enjoying piano as much and don't know if a switch with be good yet I am not sure if it's really necessary? Thank you. I would not leave a teacher who made my child cry once, given the long relationship up until now, the apology, the price, training, and seriousness of the teacher. But I know I would stress over it! I left a teacher who made my 8 yo son cry repeatedly. But he held it together until we were out of there, so she did not see it, and couldn't react. But we had just started with her 2 months earlier, and I did not have any attachment or sense of loyalty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracy Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Music goals aside, given that you have a long relationship with this teacher, I think you have a valuable opportunity to help your dd learn about people and character. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. We need to learn to both apologize and forgive. This teacher is doing exactly what she should be doing in light of her mistake. I would absolutely make sure your dd takes the opportunity to hear her apology. I also think that this is a great opportunity for your dd to compare teachers. Even if you go back to the original teacher, doing that comparison is also very valuable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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