Lisbeth Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 My MIL informed me yesterday they are coming to visit....NEXT WEEK. They don't live close (3000 miles). Part of the reason we live so far away is so they have to give us lots of warning! Trussing supposed to happen! I tried to push them out a week or two until school & baseball were done but they are set on next week! Baseball playoffs are next week, my daughter has to get ready for finals. Hubby is in the middle of a project and will be working late for the next month. This. Is. Not. A. Good. Time. MIL is going to end up upset because we don't have time to be at Her beck and call. Done venting. Now OFF TO CLEAN MY HOUSE! "No." is a complete sentence. No way, no how would someone inform me they were coming. They could ask. I would never let that stand. Time you trained them in basic manners, I'd say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Money is not an issue. They typically use FF miles to come out that they earn thru their credit card. Suggesting an alternate date is like talking to a wall. She will pick any date than what I suggest. A coupe of years ago they found out we were going to Colorado (to see my family). She decided she was taking us to the Brodmore Hotel. Gave her the list of dates we couldn't go and every date she picked was one of those. So that year I didn't get to see my family because we wouldn't hear the end of it if we had gone w/o them. Actually it's been 3 years and we still hear "I tried to take you to the Broamore but Nicole turned down my generous offer.) I had told her flat out that my kids were not old enough to stay in a suite in a 5 Star hotel. We would be happy at the Hilton down the road. (At 1/4 the cost). Um, wow. I would say to her she can travel anywhere she wants because she is an adult, but that doesn't mean you will be available or even open the door...and follow through. You are the alpha female in your immediate family, NOT her, and she needs a firm lesson in that reality. She is only being a "wall" to your input because you have let her get away with it. She needs consequences yesterday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I would also tell her in the future if she brings up Broadmore in a PA way, that you would end the visit until she could re-find her manners. And follow through. She is so desperately in need of training, like a toddler. She has a mistaken sense of her place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole M Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Your mil will continue to behave/think in this manner as long as you let her. Your dh needs to tell her what the boundaries are and hold to them. When she starts her complaining routine, you need to shut her down- hang up the phone, leave the room, close the door- whatever it takes to not listen. Your schedule and your family are YOUR priorities. She is being enabled by folks and that's why her disrespectful behavior continues. Your AND your dh must read the Boundaries book. Immediately. What message is all this teaching your kids? Unless she has a personality disorder. The mother-in-law, I mean. My mother will not ever change her behavior, and that is a plain fact. I can change my coping skills, and have, but her behavior is not the result of having been enabled. None of us can know from a few posts what the real issues are with the MIL. Could be you are right. Maybe not. Sounds to me like the OP has figured out ways to cope and was just venting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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