An Open Apology to this Community

[mathmarm]

Good Afternoon everyone.

 

I have had some time to think about my words in a post which by now several of you have read and reacted to, and have realized that many of them were stated in a way that was sloppy, crude and more than a little embarrassing. When I spoke of my love for my baby, I didn't mean it in an offensive way to other parents out there. As if I love my son better/more than you all. I simply meant it in the "Oh my God, I can't tell you how much I love this little guy!" Or the "You have no idea how in love I am with this little guy" (Even though I know that you do. I meant it as a figure of speech, not a declaration of my greater emotional range than others.)

 

I don't need to be pregnant to know that all mothers love their babies and their children and that mine is not the only family to suffer heartache over a long and difficult path to conception. I'm sorry to not just the mothers on this board to to the mothers in the world who have the pained privilege of being able to say they have lost a child before. It doesn't matter if you've lost 1 or 21, each loss is a tragedy that can't be weighed to any standard.

 

It wasn't my intention to stir up animosity or cause hurt feelings. I am truly sorry and deeply embarrassed and having had my feelings hurt so badly, I will be more mindful of how I present my thoughts, in real time, on the internet from now on. I ask that those of you who took offense find it in your hearts to forgive me. I certainly didn't know that it was a hornets nest I was kicking.

 

I didn't join this forum to start trouble of be a troll who brings down the quality of the site. I joined because I am interested in learning more about the educational options open to me for my sons future and this site seemed most efficient for that, it has a mix of everything I'm interested. (Classical, Homeschoolers, Private School and Public School parents, Charlotte Mason, Montessori, Enriched, Individualized, product reviews and a massive assortment of links and annetdotes etc...)

 

I asked about preschool and math because those are that I am interested in or can take action to acquire for my child with in the next several months. But then I was encouraged to ask questions more pertinent to my own situation, so I thought I was doing that. I had no way of knowing that child rearing topics were controversial-topics.

 

I didn't mean to be crude or insulting. I didn't mean to start a message-thread that would get so far and so fast out of control.

I didn't mean to misrepresent myself to anyone. (I have mentioned from my very first post that I was expecting my first child! I have mentioned it often!)

 

I have asked for thoughts or options to explore where math is concerned because its a big part of my life and I would love to share it with my children in a way that is more in line with how I wish to parent and I have a lot of time on my hands now.

 

I have shared my commentary on non-parent related things. I didn't mean to give anyone parenting advice, I know I commented on the merits of a certain approach to addition problems but I am a math professor--it didn't occur to me that I was insulting others by participating in threads before I have a child. I didn't know. Really.

 

I am very sorry and very stressed over the impression that I have made here these last few days. I hope that those who've I've insulted can forgive me. I'm very sick and exhausted over this whole thing.

 

 

--mathmarm.

[*Lulu*]

Thank you.

 

If it makes you feel any better, I cannot count the number of times while pregnant that I said something normal and benign, only to hear it come out of my mouth shrill and angry. Hormones are some crazy things.

 

Enjoy your pregnancy and your little one.

[Slipper]

Mathmarm, when I was expecting our first, we had SO many plans. As soon as she was born, she was whisked into a room with every toy imaginable (educational) and a full set of immersion videos for learning Spanish. When she didn't begin to babble on time, our doctors thought perhaps we had confused her with two languages being presented. Within a few months of removing the videos, we discovered she was severely autistic. Not only did she not learn Spanish (or English), she is non-verbal. We came crashing down to earth but learned a very valuable lesson.

 

Now, our expectations for our kids are that they be happy and able to live up to their potential, no matter what their potential may be. Our children have differing abilities from high to low. The joy they bring to our lives is immeasurable.

 

I would like to encourage you to worry less and patiently wait and discover your child's personality. Watching all of our children develop is like Christmas everyday. We never know what they will say and do. Our plans change all the time.

 

I wish you all the best. There are no hard feelings from me.

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