Doran Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Our oldest daughter has been at a local, sleepover arts camp since Sunday. Our youngest is in a drama camp all week, back and forth, back and forth. Both experiences are the result of the great generosity of others. My mother arrived last night and will be soon be taking the children away for a week. We're getting up and out early. We're dropping off and picking up. We're packing lunch and delivering extra clothes. It feels like a trial run for what awaits us as we transition the kids to school a little over a month from now. In the midst of it all, we're hosting a sleepover for a friend's son, one of my daughter's closest pals, who will move with his mother and siblings to Pennsylvania in 10 days. His father will not be going along, because the 20 year marriage has blown apart. Bits and pieces of a quarter of a lifetime spilling out and down. On Monday, I stood for almost an hour on a sidewalk, locked in spontaneous conversation with one friend who is madly in love with her husband. The next day, I helped the divorcing friend pack and clean her house while her soon to be ex-husband worked on painting the exterior of the house they have shared and will now sell. It was terrible to be in that home, its contents half in, half out of boxes, and its two adult inhabitants dancing around in the reality that their souls are no longer bound together. On Saturday, my children will go with their grandmother, "home" to my aging and ailing father, where they will provide some help and diversion in an otherwise joyless household. What am I learning? That life is complicated and fluid. There are gut wrenching sadnesses mingled with heart lifting pleasures. We wrap our arms around one another in support of what is and fit pieces together with the tools we are given. We take deep breaths, suck in our hopes, breathe out our tears, muddle through. Once in awhile we step out in confidence. We hope. We hope that happiness will come in and stay for tea, or for the week, or until the seasons change again because that is what they do. We move to the next moment and trust that we come into that moment still able to love. For that is all we can do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 It sounds like you learned how to get your knickers unwadded. Wasnt that you, maybe not, I could very well be losing my mind, here. That is what I am learning this summer. AAAAh. Acceptance. Jet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSMP Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 That had to be a tough moment for you Doran. It breaks my heart to hear of marriages in their 20-30 and 50 years now divorcing. I sit and wonder what happened and how did they allow themselves to grow so far apart. My husband and I talk all the time. We talk about our life after the children are gone. We talk about what we want now..... Our lives are in constant flux. I think the key is making sure you are both holding on together..... It's great that you are there trying to help. I just could not imagine how hard it would be to separate all of those memories........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doran Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 It is about acceptance. And about realizing that the things I get "twisted" about (you remembered correctly, Jet) are so trivial in the scheme of things. GSMP, sometimes, even when you think you're holding on, one is slipping away. In this instance, into years of infidelity. Heartbreaking. But, oh so common. We can only do our best, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.