LMV Posted November 23, 2012 Author Share Posted November 23, 2012 How heartbreaking for this little girl. What kind of issues were so great that this is a better alternative? From what I understand, her grandfather had a pretty major MI a few months after her parents died. He had a cardiac bypass procedure and it was my impression that he had some other complications from the surgery and quite a long hospital course after that. That was the period during which she (and her little sister) went into foster care. At the time I don't think anyone was sure he would ever leave the hospital. By the time he was finally back on his feet a lot of time had passed and the plan was to continue with the adoption. He says he supported that because he knew that it was probably unlikely he was going to be able to raise them into adulthood. Of course initially he was under the impression that the foster parents would support him continuing in a grandfather role with the girls and he says that it has taken a lot of effort on his part to maintain any contact. Now he is very frustrated by all that has transpired but he admits that he just isn't sure he could raise her and her sister even now much less another few years down the road. He did join us for Thanksgiving and we will certainly do anything we can to support her having regular time with him as long as she is in our home. Obviously we're only getting a snapshot and one side but he seems to really want to do what is best for the girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 Yes! I don't think anyone can argue that they handled this well but we realize they could have made even worse choices than they did. I also wonder if the foster parents really feel she would be better off here. There are some valid reasons why she may be (including the reality that their chain smoking is probably a significant contributor to all of her asthma flares which we know CP/FS and multiple physicians have addressed with them but never really gotten anywhere). At the same time I don't feel she is better off growing up without her little sister and I know that there are also reasons why it will traumatic for her little sister to be anywhere other than with the foster parents. It is so complicated and we really have no idea how or when this will end which is the hardest thing. I know some rescue societies who won't let animals go to smoking homes. How did they decide an asthmatic child should go to a pair of chain smokers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMV Posted November 23, 2012 Author Share Posted November 23, 2012 I know some rescue societies who won't let animals go to smoking homes. How did they decide an asthmatic child should go to a pair of chain smokers? This decision was made before we knew this child and we were not involved in it at all so I can't really be sure why the decision was made. I agree that it does sound like a poor decision (especially since her little sister is a former preemie and certainly would be at greater risk for breathing problems---fortunately she seemed to be doing well in spite of her smoke laden environment). I'm guessing that it really wasn't on the caseworker's radar because although she was known to have asthma it was well controlled and she had never been admitted for it before. Having said that I have friend (and pediatrician) who had to really fight with her local CPS to get a non smoking foster family for a child she needed to send home on trach-collar O2 (even after she tried explaining that O2 and cigarette smoking can lead to fire and or explosion which wouldn't exactly be good for anyone). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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