Hedgehog Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Poop. :( It's to do with family.. pressures.. disagreements.. stress.. DH and I are having to make a decision not to attend a family gathering, trying to word the refusal, and knowing there will be a backlash... And I'm so tired of said family determinedly burying its collective head in the sand and pretending that everyone gets on beautifully when they so don't. Where is the smilie with a head in its hands? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diviya Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: "I'm sorry, but we already have other plans." If it's an event that will be happening very soon, you might want to subtly work the phrase, "highly contagious" into your note. ;) If you know there will be backlash and are ready to deal with it, just come right out and say you can't make it. If no one will be the wiser, mention that you'll be going on a mini-vacation that you've already paid for and you can't get a refund. Yeah, yeah, lying is bad. But I would do it anyway if there was no other way out. If you are very worried about this, and a last-minute cancellation won't cost anyone any money (is it an expensive catered reception or dinner at Grandma's house?) say you'll go, and then call the day before the event and say something has come up and you can't get there. Yes, I know it's sneaky and underhanded, but if you're truly uncomfortable dealing with the backlash, it's just an idea for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 (whispering: vents are not popular just now.) ;) That stinks. I kwym. I hate having to say, "Sorry. We can't make it/aren't available/are flying to Timbuktu that weekend." :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 (whispering: vents are not popular just now.) ;) :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 Thank you! You're right - the simplest answer is usually the best! We do actually have a pretty good reason not to go - it's right down in the south of the UK, and we will literally have just gotten back from Scotland. It's all those things we really want to say, like - "we don't want to come, because we're fed up of you all behaving like ostriches" - which probably wouldn't go down well. :lol: (whispering: vents are not popular just now.) ;) :lol: Good thing I didn't go for a long, detailed vent, eh?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth in MN Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Oh, I'm blunt and loud about why I won't come to certain family events. The ostriches hate that. In other news when I tried to spell "ostriches" my spell check suggested didgeridoo. :glare: My spelling was not that far off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 :grouphug: We have family like that too. I've made it very clear that I really don't want to be bothered with any of them, so when I invite them all for Christmas I know that'll mean I'll be let off the hook for any other events for the rest of the year :tongue_smilie:. I hate Christmas anyway, so I may as well be done with all the misery at once :D. I think as far as the backlash goes you've just got to grin and bear it. For myself I'd rather suffer others' annoyance than hate myself for being a pushover yet again. Oh, and vent away, I find it very cathartic :001_smile:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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