I'm SO spent! And will we ever...

[Pamela H in Texas]

Will we ever be able to begin a full schedule of school?

 

You may remember that I mentioned Monkey being sick and us going to ER. Well, let me finish this crazy story (well, maybe not finish because....). Timeline:

 

Monday 3rd: Monkey throws up overnight. Few other symptoms.

Wednesday evening: throws up again right before going to hospital; take Monkey to ER, get 375mL IV fluids.

Friday evening: repeat ER visit, get 500 mL IV fluids. dx of pneumonia :001_huh:

During all that, she may have had diarrhea 3 times. Mostly, she just hangs on me, whines, refuses food and drink.

Saturday morning, Monkey has diarrhea, is lethargic, won't eat/drink. Head to Children's.

Monkey was given fluids, Xray, antibiotic for supposed pneumonia, kept for observation.

Sunday, Monkey not doing any better so kept another night.

Monday, Monkey seems a tad better though I'm still forcing fluids. Fever had broken though and she had a little personality.

We come home Monday afternoon. Monkey is unable to walk, isn't drinking on own, eating a tiny bit, clingy but not completely attached to me.

Tuesday morning: full diaper, not nearly as loose. More personality. About the level of a 10 month old with skills. OT worried, PT less so.

Last evening: Monkey throws up an incredible amount of food, seemingly more than she's eaten in the last week, seriously. Looks like Monday night's supper.

 

Is she EVER going to get better?!?!?!

 

This is my major stress (on top of not particularly caring for being in hospital all that time...oh, and we were grounded to room because of her past history with MRSA).

 

Okay, so it gets worse. We got a 2nd baby just over a month ago. A cute little boy. I do care about him (missed him when he was at respite this weekend while I was at the hospital with Monkey). I give and give to him, gladly. I want what is best for him. He has progressed A LOT since being here. However, I simply cannot bond with him in terms of feeling a "fond feeling" for him. And his behavior just makes me not like him more, especially the behaviors he escalates for me particularly. So then I feel guilty because I have NEVER not fallen in love with a child I was a caregiver for. I fall in love FAST and easily...just not with C :( And then I feel guilty for not. And of course, beating myself up for that isn't helping my stress level either.

 

So so far, we haven't gotten far in our schooling. I keep telling myself that a few tough weeks aren't going to make or break my homeschool, but it is feeding into my anxiety about homeschooling "the three." I'm working on remembering they are VERY young and all "ahead" and that we have a pretty educationally rich environment. ANd we *are* doing SOMETHING.

 

In better news? I think I told y'all that hubby got the perfect job in June. After several weeks (a month or so?), he was moved to another site and it has been AWFUL. The woman overseer there was horrible. He had to work over many days but didn't know until an hour or less til quitting time. He had to work many Saturdays but didn't know until Friday. It was just plain awful and his anxiety about work was miserable. We thought he was going to lose the job due to the latest illness (he got it almost as bad as Monkey!) because add all those days missed to all the days he missed due to a prior illness and all the adoption related things. Well, yesterday, T the Terrible had his replacement there and told him that he was to go back to the old site Tuesday. She didn't tell him anything. Well, turns out that she got rid of him but that the contracting company wanted to keep him so moved him. But they didn't tell the company he was working with (she told them, she didn't need him anymore!) that he was moving sites, so they called him with another job offer! ANyway, so now he is back at the PERFECT job site. So his hours are just about set, home early, and no Saturdays, and HE is the main safety person. Life is good :) Problem is that that job site is winding down, but it is still a billion times better.

 

Okay, sorry to carry on forever. I'm just STRESSED and I couldn't post easily from my phone at the hospital, especially not one handed as I had Monkey completely attached to me.

 

I'm hoping Monkey wakes up feeling okay. If not, I'm taking her straight to the pediatrician even though our NP isn't there today (her F/U appt is Friday). I had put her to bed with a water bottle and she slept fine.

 

And C is going to visit his mother for the first time today. The transporter has to pick him up early due to her schedule so I get a good long break today. I may pay for it though (kids often have major issues after parent visits).

 

Okay, doing laundry so I can focus on kiddos who will be up any minute :)

[mom2myboys]

:grouphug: You have a lot going on right now. Hope Monkey feels better soon and that you can have a good day today. Glad DH has a better job now.

[Unicorn.]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I'm glad Monkey seems to be doing better, and that your dh's job situation have improved. I hope your break today leaves you refreshed. You need a breather!