Annabel Lee Posted September 12, 2012 Author Share Posted September 12, 2012 I've noticed that, too. I mentioned a hiccup I was having with my MIL and the responses I got ranged all the way to completely cutting her out of my life. Which was crazy-talk. She's one of the sweetest people I know, and it would be insanity to cut her out of my life. But from what I'd written that people read through the filters of their crazy-MIL's, there were lots of jumps to conclusions that didn't make sense. I wouldn't use the word "offensive" about how we all tend to see the "crazy" in each other's life. It was eye opening that when you throw a couple of paragraphs out there, it can be interpreted in such a range of different ways. To the OP: I'm glad you were able to get rid of a bunch of bags and boxes! In your original post you wrote: "it bothers me unless I sell it or know someone who I'm positive will put it to good use." That is a classic sign of hoarding. The hoarder loves their stuff and they cannot let it go unless they know it will be loved. But, since you got rid of bags and are still getting rid of more, you sound like you're not a hoarder. Yeah, I talked to dh about it and he said people were probably imagining piles and piles of brand new stuff with tags still on, from the description in my OP. Oh my dear... what a picture I must have painted for some imaginations! No such thing going on here... we have no debt, and rarely shop for things that are not necessities. The "finances" thing is a single, limited income. Things have just built up for a long time - little to no purging/decluttering for too long. I just have to get used to thinking differently - the 3 categories I mentioned for sorting... the "selling" category has to shift. I can't hold onto stuff anymore just because I "should" put it on freecycle or try to sell it. I just don't have the time, but want my home to be different, pronto. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Yeah, I talked to dh about it and he said people were probably imagining piles and piles of brand new stuff with tags still on, from the description in my OP. Oh my dear... what a picture I must have painted for some imaginations! No such thing going on here... we have no debt, and rarely shop for things that are not necessities. The "finances" thing is a single, limited income. Things have just built up for a long time - little to no purging/decluttering for too long. I just have to get used to thinking differently - the 3 categories I mentioned for sorting... the "selling" category has to shift. I can't hold onto stuff anymore just because I "should" put it on freecycle or try to sell it. I just don't have the time, but want my home to be different, pronto. FWIW, I didn't imagine or vision that at all. I've offered my response based on what you *did* post, so I'll leave it at that. Except to say it's about the feelings, (self admitted) progression, and the thinking distortions. The practical advice in this thread is great. And if you can access it and sustain the changes, great. If you find you can't, there might be an underlying mental health issue preventing you. If that turns out to be the case, it's quite likely very treatable. Happy decluttering and purging. It's liberating. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 One step at a time. Just start letting go. It makes life so much smoother. A year or so ago, I started off loading some of my nicest little kid toys to a friend with littles. Yes, I could have sold all those wooden trains for some $$. But, you know, it made me happy to know a little boy I knew was thrilling in them . . . So, one day, I just dumped the whole mess of them into a cardboard box & let them go. It was awesome. Since then, I did the same with loads of nice toys. Getting rid of the BIG sets/items helps make visual space so it is easier to sort through the remainders. I find that what I *think* is a HUGE job can often be conquered in much less time than I expected. Just dive in there with a GARBAGE BAG in hand and start throwing away anything that is remotely broken/gross/missing pieces/etc. Once you clear out some real crap, you'll have an easier time sorting through the remainers. Then, just start giving (or selling) big batches away as soon as you have it good to go. If you know someone who could enjoy something, just bless them with it. If you don't, then haul it to good will or craig's list it or whatever. But, definitely get it OUT within a week or two FOR SURE. Also, even if you haven't found EVERY piece of something, if you pass it on to someone you KNOW, you can keep bringing them odds and ends as they appear. My train-set and playmobil recipient gets new little bags of odds and ends from me everytime I see him. Yesterday he got the DRAGON that went with the castle set, and he was SOOOO HAPPY! It made me much, much happier than some small $$ I might have gotten it by selling. JUST GO in there with a black garbage bag, and find trash. It's there. TRASH: - broken - ripped - missing pieces (puzzle, game) - card decks missing cards (if they are jumbled up, just pitch them) - dirty - outgrown baby things that are not hand-downable (teethers, etc) If you are like me, you'll be able to fill a black garbage bag with pure trash in under 20 minutes. Do that a few times, and the visual space will make it much easier to sort the rest. NEVER CLEAN without having a big garbage bag within reach!! If in doubt, THROW IT OUT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annabel Lee Posted September 13, 2012 Author Share Posted September 13, 2012 (edited) FWIW, I didn't imagine or vision that at all. I've offered my response based on what you *did* post, so I'll leave it at that. Except to say it's about the feelings, (self admitted) progression, and the thinking distortions. The practical advice in this thread is great. And if you can access it and sustain the changes, great. If you find you can't, there might be an underlying mental health issue preventing you. If that turns out to be the case, it's quite likely very treatable. Happy decluttering and purging. It's liberating. :) Joanne, thanks for clarifying that; it is helpful to know. I found your posts insightful and didn't take offense - after all, I agree that clinical hoarding is an illness just like depression or cancer is an illness. After reading through the responses which included symptom lists of real hoarding, I don't believe for a second that I have it. Edited September 14, 2012 by Annabel Lee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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