fairfarmhand Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 You aren't choosing money over family. You are choosing the family you are most responsible for, your children, over relatives. That's it. You have to stop thinking of it this way. The health, well being, and financial security for your children is priority number 1, not relatives. Parents who need to live closer to family can move. They are no longer raising children. They are retired. They can sell the house, pack up, and move to you if need be. If they do not need your assistance yet, then they can make the choice to stay. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You are still raising children and have a long way to go before your DH can retire. That makes it VERY important that you make healthy financial decisions and especially in an economy in which wages have stagnated and in many industries, employees have taken pay cuts in order to remain employed. Now is not the time to take a 30% pay cut if your cost of living is not also decreasing by at least that much more more. :grouphug::grouphug: It's hard, I know. There is a reason my MIL lives in Michigan and not in Florida. She didn't want to be alone after her DH died and wanted to be near us. Moving to her area would have been financial suicide for us. So, we never even considered it. She moved here and is having a lovely life! Also, now that I have three teenage sons, I can tell you that big pay cuts are not the way to go if you can avoid it! They are eating monsters, literally the "cookie monsters" of Sesame Street and behave towards food in much the same way as "Animal" from "The Muppets". It's not "BEAT DRUMS! BEAT DRUMS!" But, "EAT FOOD! EAT FOOD!" On top of that, they still outgrow their clothing only it's a lot more expensive and not so easy to find used. :tongue_smilie: I'm about to embark on a $120.00 expenditure for DS which will only get him three pairs of pants. He has to have a 24" waist and 29.5" inseam. I'm ordering 26x30's from Lands End and paying someone else to alter them because I just do.not.have.time. It would be worse if I didn't have the 25% off and free shipping codes. Sigh.... This is the same child that is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hard on clothing. Faith she's so right! Also, keep in mind that larger children need larger cars, larger clothing, larger homes. I was also stunned and horrified when my kids moved up from youth sizes of shoes to adult sizes. At a minimum, $40 for a pair of Tennis Shoes that would be either outgrown or worn out in 4 months. GAH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennynd Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 (edited) when I accepted my current job about 5 years ago. My current job offered just about 5% increase salary from IN to NY and I will lost one week of vacation. So I lay out to them, 1 week pay loss is $$ Tax increase in $$$ COL increase is $$$$ And I asked 20% increase. I got about 15%. so it is part of the game. make it reasonable that u didn't pull the number out of blue. you have hard number that you will need that much increase Edited September 7, 2012 by jennynd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 I would not do it. I hate stress about money. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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