LauraGB Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Dd keeps asking to spend the night at her friend's house. This friend's mother is a very dear friend of mine. She is a struggling single mom who is doing the very best she can with what time she has that she is not working to make ends meet. I really like both her kids. Her dd is my dd's age. She also has a very bright 16 yr old son. The problem is this. Her children have very much freedom and very little supervision. Her ds has gotten into trouble for selling drugs. Mind you, I thoroughly enjoy her ds - he is a really great kid, believe it or not...but, he's got some issues. I like her dd, but again, she's got some troubles. But there are so many differences in our parenting philosophies and I'm convinced my friend simply can't do all the things she'd like to for/with her kids. She's a good mom - she really does her best. But the environment in her home is not run by her - its the kids. It is positively choatic. This translates to the fact that I do not want my dd to spend the night. At all. Period. I've never given dd the reasons for this, so whenever she is with them, they always ask. Even my friend asks. I always say no and that we have other things going on. It used to be easy when dd was simply not allowed to spend the night anywhere, but they know she spends the night at another friend's house a couple times each month (and she spends the night here as well). How do I tell her dd will never be able to spend the night at her house without hurting her feelings? I know this would injure her beyond belief, and I would never, ever want to do that. Its getting harder and harder to come up with excuses without being a bald-faced liar, which is not exactly something I care to do. She loves our kids and we have been friends for years. Her dd has stayed here before. I trust my dd, and I feel she is mature and responsible, but I'm just not willing to put her in a situation where she has to prove it at her age, kwim? Anyone have experience with this? What did you do? What would you do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Easy Peasy. We don't and won't allow our daughters to sleep over at a house where there is a teenage boy. I'm not making any accusations about anyone's son, I think that our friends have sons who are very nice boys. But for personal reasons I cannot allow that. You can just borrow my line. See? I told you it was easy peasy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaNY Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Easy Peasy. We don't and won't allow our daughters to sleep over at a house where there is a teenage boy. I'm not making any accusations about anyone's son, I think that our friends have sons who are very nice boys. But for personal reasons I cannot allow that. You can just borrow my line. See? I told you it was easy peasy! Yep! Same here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Dd keeps asking to spend the night at her friend's house. This friend's mother is a very dear friend of mine. She is a struggling single mom who is doing the very best she can with what time she has that she is not working to make ends meet. I really like both her kids. Her dd is my dd's age. She also has a very bright 16 yr old son. The problem is this. Her children have very much freedom and very little supervision. Her ds has gotten into trouble for selling drugs. Mind you, I thoroughly enjoy her ds - he is a really great kid, believe it or not...but, he's got some issues. I like her dd, but again, she's got some troubles. But there are so many differences in our parenting philosophies and I'm convinced my friend simply can't do all the things she'd like to for/with her kids. She's a good mom - she really does her best. But the environment in her home is not run by her - its the kids. It is positively choatic. This translates to the fact that I do not want my dd to spend the night. At all. Period. I've never given dd the reasons for this, so whenever she is with them, they always ask. Even my friend asks. I always say no and that we have other things going on. It used to be easy when dd was simply not allowed to spend the night anywhere, but they know she spends the night at another friend's house a couple times each month (and she spends the night here as well). How do I tell her dd will never be able to spend the night at her house without hurting her feelings? I know this would injure her beyond belief, and I would never, ever want to do that. Its getting harder and harder to come up with excuses without being a bald-faced liar, which is not exactly something I care to do. She loves our kids and we have been friends for years. Her dd has stayed here before. I trust my dd, and I feel she is mature and responsible, but I'm just not willing to put her in a situation where she has to prove it at her age, kwim? Anyone have experience with this? What did you do? What would you do? Nope. No way. Just tell the mom that you have a rule that your dd doesn't stay overnight at homes with teenage boys...ever. Tell her that you really enjoy her son, but it is a blanket rule that you have made for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted July 4, 2008 Author Share Posted July 4, 2008 Easy Peasy. We don't and won't allow our daughters to sleep over at a house where there is a teenage boy. I can honestly say I have not considered this before (I'm ashamed to say). I certainly will now and I think I can work this one. Thank you VERY much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Nope. No way. Just tell the mom that you have a rule that your dd doesn't stay overnight at homes with teenage boys...ever. Tell her that you really enjoy her son, but it is a blanket rule that you have made for your family. I like the way you think, Mindy! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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