happycc Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) writing. She struggles with writing a little bit more than her twin sister who is also doing WWE2 and WWS. This is WWE2 Week 22 day four narration. The lion didn't think the earth was falling in, and told the little hare he was going to see, but she said it was too dangerous. The lion put the her on his back and showed her it was just a fruit that fell. The little hare then told the animals that the earth was not falling in. Something doesn't feel right and it were me I would rewrite the thing but I am not a fourth grader. Edited February 9, 2012 by happycc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happycc Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyBC Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Comparing it to the sample narrations from week 22, I think this sounds just fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happycc Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) in and and and would that sentence be a run on sentence? Edited February 9, 2012 by happycc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyBC Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I see what you're saying: I could see that sentence working without that particular comma, too. I don't feel qualified to be the final answer, but in my opinion that comma is fine and it is not a run-on sentence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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