Need some advice about 6 year old boy

[meggie]

I'm about at the end of my rope with Pigby. He's just so angry all the time. Anytime I have to tell him "No" he completely freaks out. He'll try and retaliate by hitting or hurting me somehow.

 

For example, yesterday he was playing on the computer. I told him he had half an hour and set the timer. I told him I expected him to not whine when the timer went off. He said ok. Shortly before the timer went off, baby girl woke up, so I went upstairs to get her, change her diaper, and feed her. When I got back downstairs, I saw the timer had gone off and Pigby was still playing, so I told him the timer went off and he needed to get off. Major Meltdown! I told him he better stop or he wasn't going to get the computer today. He didn't stop, so I followed through.

 

He tries disciplining me: "if you don't do X in 8 seconds, then you have to Y." I tell him he's not in charge and doesn't get to discipline me.

 

Another example is from two days ago. He was looking for colored plastic, because he read in his book that if you shine a light through colored plastic or glass that it will make a filter and make the light come out colored. So he found a pencil box and wanted me to find him a flashlight. We went upstairs to look for the flashlight but I couldn't find it. So I stood on my bed and held the box up to the ceiling light. He was whining and arguing that it was the wrong kind of light. So after trying to get him to stop, I took away his math blocks (He always has two MUS 10 blocks in his hands that he likes to play with. Getting them taken away is discipline) I took them downstairs to put them away. He followed with the box. As I was standing by the shelf, he put the box on my foot and stepped on it. At that point, I was tired of all his behavior and sent him upstairs. He refused to go, so I carried him up.

 

I'm just tired of him fighting all the time. Anything and everything. I try to say "Yes" a lot. I try to be patient. I try to explain why I say "no" when I have to say "no." But I'm tired of being treated like dirt.

 

And let's not even talk about Digby, who has become more dramatic than a teenage girl. Anytime you tell him no, he falls on the ground and sobs and sobs.

 

Then there's baby girl. Still waking up multiple times a night. It's 630 now, she's been up since at least 5. I finally brought her downstairs in the hopes that it would wear her out quicker. The sleep deprivation crazy has officially come back. I'm at the end of my rope with everything. DH is going to be taking the day off work, for my mental health. I know I shouldn't, but I feel like the ultimate failure. And Pigby is only 6. Heaven knows what he'll be like as a teenager and I'm pretty sure I won't be able to survive that either.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

:grouphug: Remain firm in your discipline techniques as best as you can while suffering from sleep deprivation. It will get better when you are eventually able to sleep. I just remember every problem seemed magnified 100X when I was lacking sleep.

[michelle l]

I don't know the answer, but I have been feeling great conviction from watching Super Nanny.;) I swear, when I watch and try to implement discipline the the manner she teaches (calm, consistent, clear expectations, ...calm) things are far more peaceful in my house. Too often my tendancy is to get angry and think that my anger is what is going to make a difference in their behavior, you know? As though, if they could just see how upsetting it is they will want to change. Nope. The need clear direction and calm, immediate consequences. I will try to remember that today.:tongue_smilie:

[lauranc]

Hang in there. Six can be tough because he's not so little anymore and wants to exert some independence... he wants some say in his own life.

 

You said you're trying to say yes as much as you can which is good--

 

It just takes a lot of consistency and knowing that these things ebb and flow. (ie.. as my mom always says: this too shall pass)

 

His difficult behavior won't stop overnight, and you just have to keep at it. I had a very long year when my 17 yr old was 6. I had a 2 yr old and a baby as well... Rough.. rough.. year.

 

If it's any consolation, I think he sounds like a typical 6 yr old boy who is just pushing to be his own person. It can be frustrating for him since he still doesn't have all the language needed to express his feelings (or at least the logic it takes to really understand why he's so irritable).

 

Love him through it... and be consistent.

[meggie]

I don't know the answer, but I have been feeling great conviction from watching Super Nanny.;) I swear, when I watch and try to implement discipline the the manner she teaches (calm, consistent, clear expectations, ...calm) things are far more peaceful in my house. Too often my tendancy is to get angry and think that my anger is what is going to make a difference in their behavior, you know? As though, if they could just see how upsetting it is they will want to change. Nope. The need clear direction and calm, immediate consequences. I will try to remember that today.:tongue_smilie:

 

I will try to remember that. It would probably help me a lot. Thanks. Aren't some of the episodes on Netflix? Maybe I'll try to watch an episode or two before the boys get up.

[Tess in the Burbs]

My son showed anger like that at that age and still does today at times. I am learning that he doesn't know how to cope well with change. He knew the rules but couldn't make himself follow through. At that age playing half hour on computer seemed ok with me, but every time he was to get off he had huge meltdowns! We stopped the computer play if he behaved that way. But I realize now that half hour isn't long when you are playing a game and it was such a tease to get to the good part and have to get off. He couldn't control that emotional frustration. So his computer time wasn't as often but we allowed longer times to allow him to get through a game. He knew that if he didn't get off on time he wouldn't get more time for quite a bit. He learned to follow the rules but we adjusted how it worked to make it easier on him.

 

But even now my son still needs constant reminders of time limits. :lol:

 

But this anger would often happen in other situations. Recently we were on vacation and he wouldn't stop talking to his sister in their room so I had him move to the sofabed. you would have thought I had destroyed his DS or favorite lego set! The tantrum was awful.

 

He doesn't know how to cope with things that upset him. We are really focusing on the change what you can/accept what you can't saying. I can talk him through most times when his anger is bad and he is getting better at telling me he needs time to calm down. He and I work together on this. We have good weeks, we have horrible weeks. But in the end he is slowly learning how to cope when things don't go his way. He is sensitive in many areas so hopefully this will help him into adulthood.

[meggie]

My 6 year old gets like that sometimes. I have no advice. I take it one day/moment at a time. Punishing him or telling him no is major punishment to me. I try to find ways to reward more than punish.

 

That's all I got. Sorry!

 

Thanks. I do try and catch him when he's doing something right and praise him for it. Like when he's being sweet to Digby and Chuck or being helpful to me, I make sure he knows how happy it makes me.

Hang in there. Six can be tough because he's not so little anymore and wants to exert some independence... he wants some say in his own life.

 

You said you're trying to say yes as much as you can which is good--

 

It just takes a lot of consistency and knowing that these things ebb and flow. (ie.. as my mom always says: this too shall pass)

 

His difficult behavior won't stop overnight, and you just have to keep at it. I had a very long year when my 17 yr old was 6. I had a 2 yr old and a baby as well... Rough.. rough.. year.

 

If it's any consolation, I think he sounds like a typical 6 yr old boy who is just pushing to be his own person. It can be frustrating for him since he still doesn't have all the language needed to express his feelings (or at least the logic it takes to really understand why he's so irritable).

 

Love him through it... and be consistent.

Thank you. I remember going through something similar when I was about 9. I'll try to work with him through it