Ibbygirl Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 My DD14 finished her story for Kafkatime and I will post it here. It is untitled so if you want to discuss it on the Kafkatime social group just reference as my DD's story. :p I haven't finished mine yet (spending too much time here on the forums :p ) but will soon. :) Enjoy. Gregory could not sleep that night. The reasons for it were unknown. Perhaps he ate too much at dinnertime, or maybe the room was too hot or he wasn’t tucked in right. Whatever the case, he got up from his bed, turned on the light and began reading a book his mother bought him awhile back. Not long after, she, noticing the lights on, poked her head through the doorway and waved at Gregory. “What do you suppose you’re doing up so late at night?†Gregory paused, looking around the room for something to throw him an excuse, but nothing came. “You can’t get to sleep?†He shook his head. She pulled her tapered hand up to her delicate mouth. “I see… Would you like some milk?†Gregory nodded. A bright smile lit up his face. He placed his book gingerly upon the shelf, put on his slippers and trotted slowly down the old, creaky stairs. The milk was steamy and warm to the touch; and yet, as good as it was, it was unable to remedy Gregory’s current state of insomnia. “It isn’t working, hmm?†Again Gregory shook his head. “Then, how about I lie in bed with you until you fall asleep?†Gregory nodded over his mug as his mother cleared the table. She washed the mugs, brushed her teeth and curled up next to Gregory on the bed, resting her arm across his body. It wasn’t long before the steady stream of his mother’s still breathing finally lulled Gregory to sleep. In the glow of the moonlight, Gregory’s hair looked almost black. Slowly, he unconsciously scratched his head and out came a small spider no larger than a ball of lint. Soon another spider made its way out from Gregory’s hair, and another and another until the bed was nearly swarming with spiders. There was a long, silent pause before, one by one, in single file, the large line of spiders crawled their ways toward Gregory’s sleeping mother, the first spider in the line biting her before all of the spiders regrouped in her long tangle of hair. The next morning, through ways not yet fully understood, Gregory’s mother was nowhere to be found. The only things remaining of both her and that night were the mugs in the cupboard, the half empty carton of milk, and the abnormally large spider in Gregory’s bed, with one leg resting across his small young body. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 (edited) What a wonderful job! It is tremendously refreshing to read such cleanly written prose. Your daughter deserves to feel a great sense of accomplishment. She has real talent and hopefully the world will have more to hear from her in the future! I was a huge fan of Franz Kafka in my late-teens and early twenties (I believe I read every story and novel of his published in English translation) and I think K would be very happy to see his work inspiring a talented girl like your daughter. Keep it up! Bill Edited January 20, 2012 by Spy Car Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted January 20, 2012 Author Share Posted January 20, 2012 What a wonderful job! It is tremendously refreshing to read such cleanly written prose. Your daughter deserves to fell a great sense of accomplishment. She has real talent and hopefully the world will have more to hear form her in the future! I was a huge fan of Franz Kafka in my late-teens and early twenties (I believe I read every story and novel of his published in English translation) and I think K would be very happy to see his work inspiring a talented girl like your daughter. Keep it up! Bill Wow!! Thank you so much Bill for your kind and generous comments! :) I showed them to my dd and she is absolutely beaming! You gave her a real self confidence boost. She often has self doubts about her writing and your validation has been a real boon to her. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 (edited) Wow!! Thank you so much Bill for your kind and generous comments! :) I showed them to my dd and she is absolutely beaming! You gave her a real self confidence boost. She often has self doubts about her writing and your validation has been a real boon to her. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) :grouphug: She has every cause to be validated. You may (or may not) want to let her know that Kafka himself was often wracked with self-doubts. He had to work in (to him) dreary office jobs to support himself and wrote through the night on his own time. Most of his works were not published in his short life-time, but he plugged on with his writing despite any of his doubts. And the world was better for his efforts! Sorry for all the typos in the first response. Bill Edited January 20, 2012 by Spy Car Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipsey Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 My DD14 finished her story for Kafkatime and I will post it here. It is untitled so if you want to discuss it on the Kafkatime social group just reference as my DD's story. :p I haven't finished mine yet (spending too much time here on the forums :p ) but will soon. :) Enjoy. Gregory could not sleep that night. The reasons for it were unknown. Perhaps he ate too much at dinnertime, or maybe the room was too hot or he wasn’t tucked in right. Whatever the case, he got up from his bed, turned on the light and began reading a book his mother bought him awhile back. Not long after, she, noticing the lights on, poked her head through the doorway and waved at Gregory. “What do you suppose you’re doing up so late at night?†Gregory paused, looking around the room for something to throw him an excuse, but nothing came. “You can’t get to sleep?†He shook his head. She pulled her tapered hand up to her delicate mouth. “I see… Would you like some milk?†Gregory nodded. A bright smile lit up his face. He placed his book gingerly upon the shelf, put on his slippers and trotted slowly down the old, creaky stairs. The milk was steamy and warm to the touch; and yet, as good as it was, it was unable to remedy Gregory’s current state of insomnia. “It isn’t working, hmm?†Again Gregory shook his head. “Then, how about I lie in bed with you until you fall asleep?†Gregory nodded over his mug as his mother cleared the table. She washed the mugs, brushed her teeth and curled up next to Gregory on the bed, resting her arm across his body. It wasn’t long before the steady stream of his mother’s still breathing finally lulled Gregory to sleep. In the glow of the moonlight, Gregory’s hair looked almost black. Slowly, he unconsciously scratched his head and out came a small spider no larger than a ball of lint. Soon another spider made its way out from Gregory’s hair, and another and another until the bed was nearly swarming with spiders. There was a long, silent pause before, one by one, in single file, the large line of spiders crawled their ways toward Gregory’s sleeping mother, the first spider in the line biting her before all of the spiders regrouped in her long tangle of hair. The next morning, through ways not yet fully understood, Gregory’s mother was nowhere to be found. The only things remaining of both her and that night were the mugs in the cupboard, the half empty carton of milk, and the abnormally large spider in Gregory’s bed, with one leg resting across his small young body. Absolutely terrific. Not over-written. Chilling and precise. I wish my high school students wrote this well. I became a big Kafka fan in high school. Even if I hadn't, I'd still like this piece. Clearly, she has talent and is putting it to use! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 She has every cause to be validated. You may (or may not) want to let her know that Kafka himself was often wracked with self-doubts. He had to work in (to him) dreary office jobs to support himself and wrote through the night on his own time. Most of his works were not published in his short life-time, but he plugged on with his writing despite any of his doubts. And the world was better for his efforts! Sorry for all the typos in the first response. Bill Thank you, Bill, for the backround. We Wiki'd Kafka after we read Metamorphosis. I had known that he had died young and that most of his work was published posthumously, but I didn't know he was wracked with self doubts. That is so sad. It's so sad that he died not even really knowing how amazing his work was. So many great artists died not knowing. When we read the Wiki article about him it was my dd who noticed that he had died the same way Gregor Samsa did. I didn't even make that connection. How strange to actually die the way a character in a book you've written has. I told my dd that if she writes herself into a story of hers to make sure it's set on a beautiful beach surrounded by friends and lots of good food. :p hehehe Absolutely terrific. Not over-written. Chilling and precise. I wish my high school students wrote this well.I became a big Kafka fan in high school. Even if I hadn't, I'd still like this piece. Clearly, she has talent and is putting it to use! THANK YOU so much for your kind words to my dd! :) I cannot even tell how happy she is reading your wonderful comments. Thank you. :) Would you and Bill like to contribute something to Kafkatime? I'd love to see what you all come up with. If you don't want to write a story you could contribute a discussion maybe about your favorite story of his and what it meant to you, or add some details about Kafka's life. I'd never read him before my dh assigned dd and I to read a book with his most well known 15 short stories. Some of them were too far over my heard (like The Great Wall of China and The Country Doctor) but I really liked and "got" (or at least think I did :p ) a lot of the others. I'd love to hear your insights as well. I created Kafkatime as a tribute to the man and his work and would love to learn more. Thank you all again for your kind words to my dd. My short story is coming soon. I already have the first page done. I don't write as well as my dd though so ya'll have to go easy on me. :p Blessings, Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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