Are your advanced children all just little darlings?

[SorrelZG]

My kids are intense and stubborn and manipulative. Sometimes I worry that my little four year old is a monster--the stories she writes have the bad guys suffering fates worthy of a Grimm's fairy tale (and we don't read those because of a sensitive brother in the house who cried when Beauty's sisters were turned into stone in one variation of the tale).

 

Look on the bright side - at least it's not the good guys that she is having suffer these fates.

[Mommy_of_4]

DS is so stubborn and sensitive. He cries and whines constantly if he doesn't get his way. I love his sensitivity sometimes but most of the times DH and I can look at him the wrong way and he will burst into tears. He is very strong willed.

[nitascool]

I have one tested gifted and three advanced children. They would all be much more advanced if they were that compliant sweet angelic type that I've only ever heard of.

 

I think part of our family problem is that we often model non-compliance in our home. We watch videos of civil disobedience and debate politics and ethics with each other and the children fairly regularly. We talk about unfair laws and how to get them changed. Dh rants regularly about the decline of x,y,z in America. So I guess in some ways we have taught our children to do the same. But we have also worked hard to make sure they are respectful in the midst of exerting their own opinions. They are not always successful but I think they all try to be respectful most of the time.

 

My oldest has had a mind of his own since birth. He was a difficult infant and never wanted to be held. We started him doing academics at 3 out of desperation... to keep him out of mischief. He is almost 12 now and he is my most helpful (useful slave :lol:), publicly polite, and globally concerned of the group. But he also has anger issues. He yells and calls names of his siblings and occasionally dh and I. I think it is mostly puberty related. Though he does have issues with being mentally older then his chronological age at times... and others treating him like an 11 year old (how dare they). I don't think it helps that he is small for his age.

 

My second son is academically advanced but is also Autistic. He is my sweetheart. He is sensitive and we have to watch how we speak to him. He has the most bad behaviors... jumping on furniture, biting things and sometimes people, not following directions. But he doesn't have the defiant air that his big brother has and it would not occur to him to get angry at anyone, ever. Academics are his biggest challenge due to a small attention span. Yet he retains everything he's ever read.

 

My third son is only slightly ahead academically (about a year). Mostly because we started later with him. But he learns quickly and sweetly. He has typical 7yo behaviors like procrastination with schoolwork if he has to do it alone but he has a love of learning with mommy that the other boys don't. He gets along with everyone. He is my most relaxed one by far. He will do what he is told without complaint and to the best of his ability 80% of the time.

 

My daughter, who is the most advance right now, is a sweet cuddle bug who is also very whiny. I don't know if it's just a girl thing or what. But she whines when her brothers bug her. She whines when it's bed time. She whines to get her way (even though it doesn't work for her). She is also very clingy. But she is the first to help mommy in the kitchen or with laundry or running errands. I am really hoping that this helpful trend continues past the early years when she can actually do things on her own.

[LezliU]

Oh, it's so good to know I'm not the only one! :) My 6 year old DS can be amazingly sensitive, intuitive, caring, and mature. Other times, he can be OVERLY sensitive, have a crazy meltdown over "nothing" (like a 2 year old), and be extremely stubborn.

 

It's so hard to remember sometimes that he IS only 6. The whole asynchronous development thing is happening right before my eyes :)

 

Having a gifted kid is tough -- it's not something you can explain to just anyone. "Sorry my son is having a meltdown right now over that... it's just because he's gifted." -- Yeah right! That's not gonna fly with most people! :)

 

Perseverance will pay off :)

[mktkcb]

oh my, no! My oldest was hyper/intense/mild aspie, and didn't become a sane human being until around age 13/14, when her switch flipped from "out of control" to "hyper controlled", and all that energy got channelled into academic success. She is now an engineering major at the local state uni, and is very focused, but very much her own geeky spock-like person. Youngest ds (15) sounds exactly like your oldest. almost to the letter. throw in adolescence and I just want to move to siberia every other day. I guess it's good he is my last, and I can give him a bit more attention, but I commiserate that you can't with your son. hugs. I've had a bad week as well.