ack25 Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 (edited) I think I am writing this to get some thoughts out of my head and onto "paper." I am conflicted in my role in my dd's education. DD is in 7th grade. I want her to know how to study and work independently. It is important, and one day she will be on her own in college. On the otherhand, she doesn't get much one-on-one guidance in a class of 26-30ish kids! Left on her own, dd could be a B or C student in most subjects, which means she will have come away with 72-89% on what she is taught or at least evaluated on. BUT, with direction and assisted work, she is an A student. So, for now, she has straight As. Here is a list of the extras that push her up to learning 90 - 100% of what is taught or evaluated... Spanish - While she does all of the written work herself and makes her own flashcards, dh or I will run through the flashcards with her. LA - Again, we'll review vocabulary with her, though she makes her own flashcards. We have family group silent reading sessions at least a few nights per week. We'll sometimes read through her essays and point out non-sentences or areas that really don't make sense and need more work. She reworks them on her own. SS - We haven't done anything so far as not much has come home. Science - DD was doing all of her homework sheets during a free period in school. However, her answers were often incomplete or bs answers trying to mask that she doesn't actually know the answer. This weekend, we are looking over her sheet and guiding her through it. I am not supplying the answers, but showing her clues in the textbook's organization to recognize where the answers may be found (bolded words, highlighted topics, sidebars, interpreting illustrations...) DD seems to be having a hard time making inferences. I am trying to help her through the process. We are pacing her studying, requiring 15 min of self-review per night and then giving her a quick oral quiz. Math - DD is in kumon and is easily understanding pre-algebra. We require her to rework word problems (her weaker area) before a test. She does them independently and we check them. (BTW, other than 30 min of reading, her homework only takes a half hour to an hour each night.) So, are we doing her a disservice by guiding her, or are we doing her a service by giving her skills that she can draw upon later? Sometimes I think she should be able to just go to her desk, focus, and get it all done. That just doesn't seem to be our reality right now as dd needs more guidance and instruction. Edited October 22, 2011 by ack25 changed no to know.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 So, are we doing her a disservice by guiding her, or are we doing her a service by giving her skills that she can draw upon later? You're doing her a wonderful and perfectly appropriate service, and you shouldn't give it one more thought. I think in every single instance you described you're giving the perfect amount of reasonable help, and in not one instance have you overstepped it; in my opinion pointing out a tangled bit in an essay is perfectly acceptable, as you say it's your dd who is reworking it. Don't worry about it any more... ...Except that bit where you say "someday in college she'll need to be independent." And I'm not saying you should worry about this, but merely rethink that leap of logic. She's in 7th grade now, so that gives her SIX MORE YEARS before she'll need to be at that level of independence -- seven if she takes a gap year. Simply because someday in the future, not even the near future, she'll need to do something does NOT mean she therefore should be doing it NOW, in 7th grade. On top of that, very few kids in college work at the level of independence you are imagining. Most kids belong to study groups of one kind or another; there are tutoring centers for just about every subject (particularly writing, math, and physics, but often others as well); professors hold office hours for individual questioning or tutoring small groups. In many cases kids are encouraged to hand in papers early to literature professors (I was one) for feedback and revision before they turn the papers in for grades. There's a lot of assistance out there for kids; speaking from a dozen years teaching in two different public universities in my state (California), no one has to do every single bit of every single aspect of every single class on their own. Please put your worries to rest. It sounds as though you're giving your daughter exactly what she needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 What you're doing is called scaffolding, and it is absolutely wonderful that you are taking the time to do it well. Your daughter is a lucky girl to have you for a parent. I wish my parents had done the same for me in 7th grade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 I think you should keep at what you are doing! Even the essay and paper editing. Unless an assignement is a rough draft to be corrected and turned in as a final draft, your daughter will not gain writing skills from turning in a bad essay. My parents always proofread my papers and had me fix them. That is how you learn. Every college professor I had, including comp, wanted us to go to the writing center for a proofread before we turned papers in. One class gave us bonus points for going! They know you need the rewrite practice to improve. It is a vital part of the learning process, one not always afforded to kids in Jr high and high school when teachers have 80+ students papers to read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ack25 Posted October 22, 2011 Author Share Posted October 22, 2011 (edited) Thank you for the replies and encouragement. I know I will be back to this thread when I start to get frustrated or have doubts. Also, thanks for the reminder that dd has 6 more years until college and that even then, she won't be expected to be 100% on her own. Sometimes six years seems very short and I get ahead of myself! Then again, 6 years ago she was in 1st grade! :lol: Edited October 23, 2011 by ack25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nellecv Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 What you are doing is teaching your daughter study skills. Most parents assume that their children know how to learn. While everyone is born able to learn, most people are not born knowing how to do it most effectively or efficiently! As for proofreading her papers, that is fine at this point. As she gets older there are many checklists you can print off the web to help her evaluate and edit her own work. One other skill I'd stress is that revision doesn't just mean cleaning up a few mistakes. It means evaluating whole chunks of your writing to see which parts are the strongest, weakest, clearest, most relevant, off topic, convoluted, simplistic, etc. It also means looking at your words and descriptions to make them stronger and more detailed. I work a lot with high school students who only correct grammar between their rough and final drafts, and this really keeps them from writing their best work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristineW Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I think you should keep at what you are doing! Even the essay and paper editing. Unless an assignement is a rough draft to be corrected and turned in as a final draft, your daughter will not gain writing skills from turning in a bad essay. My parents always proofread my papers and had me fix them. That is how you learn. Every college professor I had, including comp, wanted us to go to the writing center for a proofread before we turned papers in. One class gave us bonus points for going! They know you need the rewrite practice to improve. It is a vital part of the learning process, one not always afforded to kids in Jr high and high school when teachers have 80+ students papers to read. :iagree: Even in grad school and the workplace I'd have a fresh set of eyes look over an important paper for errors and clarity. It's not cheating unless you rewrite it for her. Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof2:E&T Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I think you are doing a great thing for your dd. Everything you are doing is "drawing the map". She is taking the reins and doing the work. Helping her is only going to pave the way for her to gain confidence and improve her study skills. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartosunshine Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I think I am writing this to get some thoughts out of my head and onto "paper." I am conflicted in my role in my dd's education. DD is in 7th grade. I want her to know how to study and work independently. It is important, and one day she will be on her own in college. On the otherhand, she doesn't get much one-on-one guidance in a class of 26-30ish kids! Left on her own, dd could be a B or C student in most subjects, which means she will have come away with 72-89% on what she is taught or at least evaluated on. BUT, with direction and assisted work, she is an A student. So, for now, she has straight As. Here is a list of the extras that push her up to learning 90 - 100% of what is taught or evaluated...Spanish - While she does all of the written work herself and makes her own flashcards, dh or I will run through the flashcards with her. LA - Again, we'll review vocabulary with her, though she makes her own flashcards. We have family group silent reading sessions at least a few nights per week. We'll sometimes read through her essays and point out non-sentences or areas that really don't make sense and need more work. She reworks them on her own. SS - We haven't done anything so far as not much has come home. Science - DD was doing all of her homework sheets during a free period in school. However, her answers were often incomplete or bs answers trying to mask that she doesn't actually know the answer. This weekend, we are looking over her sheet and guiding her through it. I am not supplying the answers, but showing her clues in the textbook's organization to recognize where the answers may be found (bolded words, highlighted topics, sidebars, interpreting illustrations...) DD seems to be having a hard time making inferences. I am trying to help her through the process. We are pacing her studying, requiring 15 min of self-review per night and then giving her a quick oral quiz. Math - DD is in kumon and is easily understanding pre-algebra. We require her to rework word problems (her weaker area) before a test. She does them independently and we check them. (BTW, other than 30 min of reading, her homework only takes a half hour to an hour each night.) So, are we doing her a disservice by guiding her, or are we doing her a service by giving her skills that she can draw upon later? Sometimes I think she should be able to just go to her desk, focus, and get it all done. That just doesn't seem to be our reality right now as dd needs more guidance and instruction. Thank you for asking this. I'm doing many of the same things with my DD, 8th grade, and have been wondering the same thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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