Greta Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 I need help. I have always been very forgetful and scatter-brained, but it seems to get much worse with time. I'm at the point where it's not just a tendency or personality quirk but a real problem. I catch on to things quickly, and I always did well in school so I was never diagnosed with ADD or anything like that, though I can't seem to hold on to those things I've caught on to for any length of time. I would forget my own name if it weren't on my driver's license, and that's assuming I can actually FIND my driver's license. My forgetfulness is interfering with life. And it's not because of a lack of trying or sincerity on my part. I just can't seem to hold a thought in my head for more than ten minutes! Today, I was supposed to pick a friend's daughter up from a class, and I totally spaced it. The teacher stayed with her, and called my friend who called me, but I left this poor kid stranded (with the teacher) for a little over half an hour. My friend and her daughter and the teacher were incredibly kind and forgiving about the whole thing, but I've been fighting back tears ever since. I'd probably be bawling in my bed right now except for the fact that the daughter is still here, and doesn't deserve to see me have a meltdown. I hate doing things so ridiculously irresponsible! I don't want to be this way. But I am at a total loss what to do about it. All of my efforts don't seem to count for anything. I know that I need to put EVERY obligation on my calendar, and to look at my calendar every morning, and I totally failed on both counts in this particular incident. But there have been times that I looked at my calendar in the morning, saw that I had an appointment that afternoon, and forgot about it completely by the afternoon!!!! What can someone who is that hopelessly brainless do?!? :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 I need help. I have always been very forgetful and scatter-brained, but it seems to get much worse with time. I'm at the point where it's not just a tendency or personality quirk but a real problem. I catch on to things quickly, and I always did well in school so I was never diagnosed with ADD or anything like that, though I can't seem to hold on to those things I've caught on to for any length of time. I would forget my own name if it weren't on my driver's license, and that's assuming I can actually FIND my driver's license. My forgetfulness is interfering with life. And it's not because of a lack of trying or sincerity on my part. I just can't seem to hold a thought in my head for more than ten minutes! Today, I was supposed to pick a friend's daughter up from a class, and I totally spaced it. The teacher stayed with her, and called my friend who called me, but I left this poor kid stranded (with the teacher) for a little over half an hour. My friend and her daughter and the teacher were incredibly kind and forgiving about the whole thing, but I've been fighting back tears ever since. I'd probably be bawling in my bed right now except for the fact that the daughter is still here, and doesn't deserve to see me have a meltdown. I hate doing things so ridiculously irresponsible! I don't want to be this way. But I am at a total loss what to do about it. All of my efforts don't seem to count for anything. I know that I need to put EVERY obligation on my calendar, and to look at my calendar every morning, and I totally failed on both counts in this particular incident. But there have been times that I looked at my calendar in the morning, saw that I had an appointment that afternoon, and forgot about it completely by the afternoon!!!! What can someone who is that hopelessly brainless do?!? :crying: What about an electronic calendar with alarms set to remind you? Does repeating things out loud help you remember them? What about routines? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom23 Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Just lots of :grouphug: and understanding. This is something I struggle with a lot too! It is really frustrating! And I often feel like a most horrible and awful friend!:crying: I used to sub at the school and a few times I completely forgot I was supposed to be there until they called. I just don't do well with sporadic type things like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted October 12, 2011 Author Share Posted October 12, 2011 What about an electronic calendar with alarms set to remind you? Yes, this is a brilliant idea. I have an iPod and this has helped a lot in the past. Lately the battery is so unreliable that I can't count on it. So, clear solution: get the battery fixed! Duh! Though I've still found some ways to mess that up -- alarms don't do much good when you've got the volume turned down. Sigh.... Does repeating things out loud help you remember them? What about routines? :grouphug: Only if I repeat them aloud within ear shot of someone who will remind me about it later! :lol: Routines definitely help with the stuff that is, well, routine. The things that I need to do daily or weekly, I'm not too bad about those. Anything a little out of the ordinary, like picking up my friend's daughter on this one occasion, all bets are off. Thanks for the hugs! I need them right now! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted October 12, 2011 Author Share Posted October 12, 2011 Just lots of :grouphug: and understanding. This is something I struggle with a lot too! It is really frustrating! And I often feel like a most horrible and awful friend!:crying: I used to sub at the school and a few times I completely forgot I was supposed to be there until they called. I just don't do well with sporadic type things like that. :grouphug: Thank you so much! I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this too. It just plain stinks, doesn't it? I feel like an awful friend too, because I'm sure it comes across like I just don't care. But it isn't a lack of care, it something else that's missing in my brain. I just wish I knew what it was and how to replace it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 No advice, just commiseration. I am like this too. I sometimes wonder what I'd ever do if I had to go out and get a job. The other day I was in the kitchen and remembered there was a check on a table in the living room I needed to deposit. I turned around, walked to the living room and couldn't remember why I went in there. I just stood there for a few minutes until it finally came to me. It had only been about 15 seconds between thinking about the check and forgetting why I came in the room. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 So I was just a few minutes ago making myself some soup..heating it up in the microwave. Microwave dings. I go to get it. Open the freezer door and stood there for about five full seconds. "What was I supposed to be doing again?" ---- I've taken lately (with this lovely menopause) to carrying around a really small 3 x 5 notebook with me. I write stuff down all the time. I was a compulsive list maker before this hit, and then when it did, my house was totally snowflaked in post it notes everywhere. Ridiculous. The notebook helps. A lot. --- Before I saw my doctor, I was reading a lot about Alzheimer's. I was genuinely thinking I had early onset at some points. Have you happened to have had a recent visit with your doctor just to be sure everything there is hunky dory? Some vitamin deficiencies can cause problems in this area, lack of sleep is the biggest. Hydration, exercise- the really simple things you can cross off your list to check for areas for improvement. Stress is the other big one. Not so simple to cure or fix. But worth a review. Any area you can simplify or reduce is helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom23 Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Hydration, exercise- the really simple things you can cross off your list to check for areas for improvement. Only simple if you can remember to do them:tongue_smilie: LOL i have started many days saying to myself, "I am GOING to drink some water today!" only to go to bed realizing I had drank one glass about five minutes after I said that, then natta! I really do think dehydation contributes to alot of my issues, but cannot get myself to drink water for the life of me. I will try the sticky notes everywhere maybe:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted October 12, 2011 Author Share Posted October 12, 2011 No advice, just commiseration. I am like this too. I sometimes wonder what I'd ever do if I had to go out and get a job. The other day I was in the kitchen and remembered there was a check on a table in the living room I needed to deposit. I turned around, walked to the living room and couldn't remember why I went in there. I just stood there for a few minutes until it finally came to me. It had only been about 15 seconds between thinking about the check and forgetting why I came in the room. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Thank you! :grouphug: Yeah, I do things like that on a daily basis. I'm pretty much accustomed to that. What really upsets me are the things like when my daughter was a baby/toddler, I locked her in the car. Twice. The first time it was fall and mild, and I just called my husband at work and he met with us and unlocked it. The second time, it was August in New Mexico, where a car can heat up to 140 in no time flat. Hubby was out of town. Called 911 and some very nice firemen came and broke the car window to get her out, checked her for dehydration and hyperthermia, told me she was fine and I should stop crying because everything was okay. Eventually, I did. (Stop crying.) But it took awhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted October 12, 2011 Author Share Posted October 12, 2011 So I was just a few minutes ago making myself some soup..heating it up in the microwave. Microwave dings. I go to get it. Open the freezer door and stood there for about five full seconds. "What was I supposed to be doing again?" My daughter laughs at me constantly for this kind of stuff. I don't mind, because laughter is SO much better than tears! ---- I've taken lately (with this lovely menopause) to carrying around a really small 3 x 5 notebook with me. I write stuff down all the time. I was a compulsive list maker before this hit, and then when it did, my house was totally snowflaked in post it notes everywhere. Ridiculous. The notebook helps. A lot. --- Thanks, I will try this! Before I saw my doctor, I was reading a lot about Alzheimer's. I was genuinely thinking I had early onset at some points. Have you happened to have had a recent visit with your doctor just to be sure everything there is hunky dory? Some vitamin deficiencies can cause problems in this area, lack of sleep is the biggest. Hydration, exercise- the really simple things you can cross off your list to check for areas for improvement. Stress is the other big one. Not so simple to cure or fix. But worth a review. Any area you can simplify or reduce is helpful. I've been hesitant to go to the doctor because our medical insurance got cut drastically, and I would have to pay everything out of pocket until we meet the (huge) deductible. I sleep well, eat well, stay hydrated, exercise moderately, don't generally have stress *until* something like this happens. But of course I have no idea about vitamin deficiencies or a whole host of other medical possibilities. Anyone know of a good doctor in Albuquerque who wouldn't charge me an arm and a leg? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted October 12, 2011 Author Share Posted October 12, 2011 I really do think dehydation contributes to alot of my issues, but cannot get myself to drink water for the life of me. One thing that helped me was finding water that I really liked. Not all water is created equal. ;) What I like personally is a sparkling water such as San Pellegrino or Gerolsteiner with a splash of lemon juice in it. If you can find some (non-sugary!) way to make your water more interesting, it really can help. But, yes, there is still the problem of remembering to make up a glass and drink it! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted October 13, 2011 Author Share Posted October 13, 2011 Bumping in case anyone has any further ideas. (I need all the help I can get!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianmomtofour Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 My husband has ADD and you sound just like him! The only thing that works for him is to surround himself with ultra-organized people both at home and in his work life. My husband is super-smart and can think on his feet like no other, but he really needs someone to continually point him in the right direction. He is completely open and honest about this aspect of himself so that he does have a network of people to support him. He often looks at me and says, "Can you imagine where I would be without you to boss me around?" :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Only simple if you can remember to do them:tongue_smilie: LOL i have started many days saying to myself, "I am GOING to drink some water today!" only to go to bed realizing I had drank one glass about five minutes after I said that, then natta! I really do think dehydation contributes to alot of my issues, but cannot get myself to drink water for the life of me. I will try the sticky notes everywhere maybe:) I keep a water container on my countertop and fill it every day. It's in a main area where I have to walk by it 2 million times a day. I try to make it a point to drain at least half of it everyday. It really does make a difference with me, I notice when my lips get chapped especially that I've been slacking off. You could arrange something in the bathroom also if you have the space or keep a water glass in there. Whatever comes out - has to be replenished x 2. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted October 13, 2011 Author Share Posted October 13, 2011 My husband has ADD and you sound just like him! The only thing that works for him is to surround himself with ultra-organized people both at home and in his work life. My husband is super-smart and can think on his feet like no other, but he really needs someone to continually point him in the right direction. He is completely open and honest about this aspect of himself so that he does have a network of people to support him. He often looks at me and says, "Can you imagine where I would be without you to boss me around?" :lol: :lol: I shudder to think what a shambles my life would be without my hubby to keep me on track. Truly, I would be lost without him! He tries so hard to be kind and patient with me, though I know there are times that I drive him crazy. I'd so much rather be a support to him, though, rather than always being the one who needs supported. I recently had a very honest friend tell me that I need to take organization lessons from hubby. She was right! I'm a strange enigma, though. I can be ultra-organized, obsessively organized, with some things (I manage the finances for my daughter's Girl Scout troop and the ladies charity group at my church, and I'm practically OCD with those), and yet so utterly disorganized with others (my home, my time, my LIFE!). Perhaps it's when I feel accountable to someone else I can kick things into gear, but when I'm only accountable to myself I get lazy? I'm not sure, but I definitely need to work on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianmomtofour Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 :lol: I shudder to think what a shambles my life would be without my hubby to keep me on track. Truly, I would be lost without him! He tries so hard to be kind and patient with me, though I know there are times that I drive him crazy. I'd so much rather be a support to him, though, rather than always being the one who needs supported. I recently had a very honest friend tell me that I need to take organization lessons from hubby. She was right! I'm a strange enigma, though. I can be ultra-organized, obsessively organized, with some things (I manage the finances for my daughter's Girl Scout troop and the ladies charity group at my church, and I'm practically OCD with those), and yet so utterly disorganized with others (my home, my time, my LIFE!). Perhaps it's when I feel accountable to someone else I can kick things into gear, but when I'm only accountable to myself I get lazy? I'm not sure, but I definitely need to work on it. First off, please never call yourself lazy. My dh says this about himself too, but when it comes to his area of interest/expertise he can be hyper-focused, bordering on obsession! This is why he is so successful at work. Also, please trust me when I say that you bring wonderful things to your relationship that far outweigh your dh's need to provide a bit of direction. My dh is funny, spontaneous, and keeps my life FUN! Without him my type A personality would have us living a life of schedules, schedules, and more schedules. i.e. BORING! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted October 13, 2011 Author Share Posted October 13, 2011 First off, please never call yourself lazy. My dh says this about himself too, but when it comes to his area of interest/expertise he can be hyper-focused, bordering on obsession! This is why he is so successful at work. Also, please trust me when I say that you bring wonderful things to your relationship that far outweigh your dh's need to provide a bit of direction. My dh is funny, spontaneous, and keeps my life FUN! Without him my type A personality would have us living a life of schedules, schedules, and more schedules. i.e. BORING! :tongue_smilie: Oh, Elisha, thank you for that! :grouphug: Your kindness is much appreciated and lifted my spirits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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