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Denisemomof4? RAD kids...

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What happens to RAD kids who don't get the love and support they need? How does that adjust going into adulthood? What do you think the implications would be for such a person who, say, got married and had children and hadn't ever dealt with those issues?


this is very hard to gauge since there are varying degrees of RAD. I have read anything from people who overcame their issues and became loving parents - after trying everything under their power to test the limits of the S.O. they love, trying to make them leave to prove, again, they're unlovable.... all the way to RAD people leading solitary lives with no connections with anyone, anywhere. I personally know someone who has an adult daughter who they see on holidays, but who lives alone, has no friends and doesn't date. They basically only see her on holidays even though they don't live far away from each other.


There have been many stories of adoptive kids harming, or worse, their parents or families. RAD kids who aren't loved will likely leave their families and never return. They will struggle all their lives. This happens even with RAD kids who ARE loved.


Many RAD kids end up in residential treatment centers as kids or teens, and end up with criminal records as adults. I see many on my adoption boards who worry their kids will never be self sufficient, and others who's kids moved out of the house and years later apologized for all they put their parents through.


I can hope and dream that my RAD kid will be self sufficient, happy, and a mother (only because she says she wants to be one now), and I still hold out hope that she will be connected to us and be happy to call us family. I can't give up on that hope.

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I think that if a RAD kid didn't get love and support, then moved on to get married and have kids, I think it would be VERY difficult to become an attached, loving parent. I oftentimes wonder when we hear stories in the news about parents rejecting/neglecting/abandoning their kids if they have these issues.


I have read adult adoptee forums before but I typically stay away from them. They're pretty scary. It's chilling to see how they talk about their adoptive family, or about adoption in general, even admitting their parents loved them. I had wanted to ask adult adoptees for advice, what I could do to help my dd, but I got scared away pretty fast.

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one more thing. This is a list of symptoms which many unhealed RAD kids have to look forward to in adulthood:




I've had numerous people contact me offline over the years about RAD, so I'm going to bump this a few times tonight, especially since the Hive is apparently experiencing WACKADOO tonight and many threads are being buried.:tongue_smilie:

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