Not making friends

[JessieC]

We've been homeschooling for almost a year now after pulling DD out of K halfway through the year. In K, she made a close group of friends easily. Other kids have always liked her, and before homeschooling I was never worried about this aspect of her life.

 

Now, after nine months of going to various homeschool park days, classes, and other activities with a few different homeschool groups, she has yet to make a friend. Other girls her age seem to play together, and for some reason she is just not connecting. She usually plays with her little brother at social events, or maybe with a slightly younger boy. She likes one girl in one of her classes, but the girl is a year or two older and doesn't seem to return the feelings. I am worried that if we keep homeschooling, she will never have a close friend her age.

 

I shouldn't worry, because she is only in first grade, right? I think I might be too wrapped up in her social life because I am always standing back and watching it not happen, and I always feel slightly sad after our outings because the other girls seem to click with such ease. She doesn't seem too bothered by it, but I sometimes sense that she is uncomfortable. Any words of wisdom for me?

[AK_Mom4]

If she doesn't seem bothered by it, then I wouldn't worry about it.

 

My older three are very close in age and really didn't "make friends" with other kids until they were older. They would play nicely with other kids sometimes, but mostly played with each other. Both at home and when we went somewhere. Once my kids got older, however, friends outside the family got more interesting.

 

DD10, on the other hand, never had that close sibling bond because of the age difference. She makes friends everywhere she goes and always has someone new she plays with when we go somewhere.

[JessieC]

Thanks--your words make me feel better about it. DD does have a couple of friends who she sees once a week or so. They are not homeschooled, and their parents are friends of ours. They are a bit busy with school and all, but I try to make time to see them. I wish she could find a "best" homeschool friend, but it is probably not terribly important at such a young age. Thanks.

[love2read]

It can be heart breaking for you, but don't worry she will click with another little girl eventually. What's important is that you not pass on to her your concern about the lack of a connection. She's only 6 or 7 and it doesn't matter at that age. I have a half dozen girls and only 2 cared about friendships when they were younger. The others sound just like your daughter; they were above the need to talk and socialize with a best buddy. Eventually it did become important, but they always had a strong, positive sense of self and they didn't care much if other girls didn't like them. She sounds like a confident little girl, don't worry.

[JessieC]

Thanks for your words, Cordelia. I will definitely try not to express anything about it to her. I'm not sure she is confident and "above" it--I think she does want to have homeschooled friends--but it just hasn't happened yet and she doesn't know a way in, nor do I.