My 8 year old's first 'chapter book'. So proud of her

[cajunrose]

We have a LOT to work on sentence structure wise, spelling and punctuation...but I'm pretty darned proud of this. This is the edited version...the original has many many spelling errors but we are working on that.

 

The Princess Unicorn and the Princess By Raelee July 2011

Chapter 1: The Poor Girl

 

Once upon a time, there was a Queen. But she was having a baby. A year later, the queen had the baby with beautiful blond hair. But the princess was very poor. "What should we name her?" said the king. "Jewel" said the queen. But as the years went on, Jewel kept getting richer and richer. But when Jewel turned 16, her mom and dad died.

 

Chapter 2: The Horse

 

So now she is all alone. So she ran in the woods and lived in the woods for 3 years. Then Jewel saw a prince riding a horse. "Hey!" said the Prince. "What?" said Jewel. Do you live in the woods?" said the prince in a soft voice. "Yes" said Jewel. You should not be in the woods. "GO!!!" As Jewel walked out of the woods, she glared at him. The next day, the Prince rode by. "I'm not talking to you!" said Jewel. "Do you like horses?" he said. "I won't talk to you!" said Jewel. "Well her name is Diamond." said the Prince. "Who's name is Diamond?" said the Jewel. "The Horse" Said the Prince. "She was going to be yours." "WHAT?!?" said Jewel.

 

Chapter 3: The Woods

 

"Wait a minute! I thought you were not talking to me!" Said the Prince. They fought for the next 2 hours. Jewel hopped on the horse. "What is your name?" "What?" said Jewel. "What is your name?" "OH! Jewel. What is your name?" "My name? Yes. Oh! My name. Um, Prince Naven. How old are you?" said Naven. "I'm 18. Are we almost there?" said Jewel. "Welllll the only thing we need to pass is the woods. "Oh" Said Jewel.

 

Chapter 4: The Secret, Shhhh

 

"OH NO!!!" yelled Jewel. "Is something the matter?" said Naven. "Yes, look behind us." said Jewel. "Bad guys!" as the horse went faster. Jewel kept breathing faster and faster. She breathed so fast she fell off of the horse. She got up quickly. She yelled "NAVEN! Throw me your sword!" "OK" he yelled. Jewel got really hurt. She stayed on the ground for a few minutes. When Jewel got hurt, she turned into an owl. Naven didn't know that it was Jewel. But he saw the crown. When she woke up, she flew behind the tree. Naven humphed. He said "Come on. I...I'm not going to hurt you." Jewel flew down. He held Jewel. "What is that crack in your beak for?" said Naven. "I do have orange paper." he said. "and tape." He let her go. She flew back behind the tree. Ummm Do I really want to tell him?...Yes, I do Jewel thought. When Naven rode back toward the kingdom, jewel flew toward him. He looked behind him. "What do you want owl?" "I want to tell you a thing." said Jewel (as the owl) "Aaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!" yelled Naven. " What do you want to tell me?" Naven said. "I"m her." said Jewel. "Who?" he said. "Jewel" said Jewel. Jewel lifted her wings up. She turned back into herself.

 

Chapter 5: The barn

 

"See? I'm her" said Jewel. "Yeah" Naven breathed. "Oh look! We are almost there" said Jewel. "Yeah" he said. They ran into the castle. Win they got there, they walked to the door. "Here she is" said Naven. Naven got the unicorn all set up for Jewel. "I guess it's time for me to go." said Jewel. "Bye" said Jewel. "Bye" answered Naven. So Jewel went off.

 

The End

[Guest submarines]

What imagination! I love the dialogue, so lively and spunky! My 9 yo and I enjoyed reading it very much.

[SnowWhite]

Very impressive! I like the use of "breathed" for Naven's speaking when he saw that the owl was Jewel.

[cajunrose]

Thank you guys. I know we have a LOT of work to do on sentence structure, punctuation and spelling (I fixed spelling errors for the board) but for a kid with visual processing issues, I think she's doing quite well.

[Satori]

What a great story! My daughter made me read it aloud and she loved it. Thanks for sharing.