Becca211 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/07/how-to-land-your-kid-in-therapy/8555/ I thought it was an interesting article. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 (FYI, one quoted bad word at the beginning, which I can read without flinching, but I thought it a cheap shot to grab a readers eyes in the first paragraph.) Shrug -- call me a denialist, but I thought it had more to do with TV, where everything in life is clear, and it all works out in less than an hour. And everyone's lifestyle is a leisured and freshly-cleaned-house one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Becca211 Posted July 8, 2011 Author Share Posted July 8, 2011 Your right, I should have put a language warning. Sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Yeah, the whole "kids are the center of my world," "child-centered" granola stuff never sat right with me. My kids are important to me; obviously, I homeschool them and spend lots of time with them. But I have my own life that doesn't always include them, whether they like it or not, and my marriage comes first. Without a healthy, happy marriage I can't do the best for my kids. I expect my kids to have good sense and deal with their troubles. I will help if necessary but I will not rush in to save. For example: my dd17 failed science this year. She didn't study for the exam even though we had her turn in her phone for the weekend and said no tv and no computer so you can study. Every time I looked in on her, she was sleeping. I didn't insist that she study; it's not my science grade, it's hers. When she got her grade card, she rushed to me to explain how it must be a mistake and that she couldn't have failed. She asked me to call her teacher and figure out the mistake. I told her, "Dd, had I seen you study, I would be willing to investigate. However, as I saw you do nothing to prepare for this exam, if you feel there is a mistake, you need to investigate it yourself." (Of course, she didn't.) I think kids grow to be strong, independent, happy people by being expected to live their lives, not be being catered to. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Becca211 Posted July 8, 2011 Author Share Posted July 8, 2011 Yeah, the whole "kids are the center of my world," "child-centered" granola stuff never sat right with me. My kids are important to me; obviously, I homeschool them and spend lots of time with them. But I have my own life that doesn't always include them, whether they like it or not, and my marriage comes first. Without a healthy, happy marriage I can't do the best for my kids. I expect my kids to have good sense and deal with their troubles. I will help if necessary but I will not rush in to save. For example: my dd17 failed science this year. She didn't study for the exam even though we had her turn in her phone for the weekend and said no tv and no computer so you can study. Every time I looked in on her, she was sleeping. I didn't insist that she study; it's not my science grade, it's hers. When she got her grade card, she rushed to me to explain how it must be a mistake and that she couldn't have failed. She asked me to call her teacher and figure out the mistake. I told her, "Dd, had I seen you study, I would be willing to investigate. However, as I saw you do nothing to prepare for this exam, if you feel there is a mistake, you need to investigate it yourself." (Of course, she didn't.) I think kids grow to be strong, independent, happy people by being expected to live their lives, not be being catered to. Tara I agree with you completely. Good for you having the strength to not try to rescue her. It is really hard sometimes to let them fail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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