ELaurie Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 Ds 8 recently met a new friend at the park, and they have spent quite a bit of time together this past week. I've met the other boy and talked with him briefly on several occasions; today I took ds 6 to the park when ds 8 and his friend were there so I could get to know him a bit better. I also called his mom to introduce myself. She was cordial on the phone, and indicated that she would be happy for ds 8 to come to her house to play, and also said her ds could play a our house. I'm happy to have her ds here, and relatively comfortable letting the boys ride their bikes at the park (which is next to our house - I can see them from my living room window) but I'd like to get to know this boy a bit better, and I'm not comfortable letting ds 8 play there without meeting his parents. It's a new experience for ds to have a friend who isn't a neighbor, or the child of someone I already know. What specific questions do you ask before letting your dc play at another child's house? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 What specific questions do you ask before letting your dc play at another child's house? I need to have met any parent that will be home when dd is at the friend's house. I like to just go over and have coffee, or have them over to my place. It's going to get harder next year when older dd is in high school, but I think I'll still need to know that a parent is home and I'll need to know the parent. I don't have a list of specific questions, I just talk about general stuff- what do you do, where did you go to school, etc. I think you can get a good feel for someone this way. If I get any weird vibes, I ask more questions related to that area. If my weird vibes don't go away, dds don't go there for play dates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 I don't necessarily ask these things straight out (but I'm devious - I often will bring conversations around to certain things to get a feel on how they think about them). If my dc are going to be in someone's house I want to know: Do you have guns and if you do, how are they stored? (This is after my ds told me casually about his friend showing him their guns - showing him as in actually handling them.) How much electronic media do you allow and is my child still welcome if we don't do media at all? (We do electronic media at home but do not elsewhere after I found out that a boy's mom was proud that her son and my ds (then 8 years old) were playing computer games marked "M". This was after she had already told me that she only allowed things with "good" family values.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wagnfun Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 What specific questions do you ask before letting your dc play at another child's house? I'm not so sure if there are actually questions you can ask that will make you feel 100% comfortable. Personally, I'd want to know their stand on certain things... but I think these are things you can only know over time and not by interigating the parents. I'd want to know about their religious beliefs, I'd want to know about pets & guns. I've had a son bitten by a friends dog AND being a gun family, I let parents know upfront we have them & they are locked, etc. I found out by a parent yelling at me that "I should have let her know her son was going to be so close to a deadly weapon before I let him in my house". And right off-- I want to know, since you've only met mom-- if dad, uncle or older sibling will be home when said child is over their house. We once let our dd go to a friends and the mom thought nothing about leaving her dd and my dd with the dad, whom I had never met- I didn't like it, but it was my fault for allowing her to go before I'd met the entire family. Sry if the above thoughts are jumbled, kids are making the dog crazy-- but I hope I answered your question! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wagnfun Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 IDo you have guns and if you do, how are they stored? (This is after my ds told me casually about his friend showing him their guns - showing him as in actually handling them.) How much electronic media do you allow and is my child still welcome if we don't do media at all? (We do electronic media at home but do not elsewhere after I found out that a boy's mom was proud that her son and my ds (then 8 years old) were playing computer games marked "M". This was after she had already told me that she only allowed things with "good" family values.) The gun thing is exactly what I said. My kids have seen first hand what guns can do to different items (birds, deer, pumpkins, etc) and actually had a friend try to show off his dads gun by trying to hand it to my son. My 9yr old ds told him he was stupid to handle his fathers gun and to put it away. I think he went there with his friend b/c hes been taught to respect guns. I also agree with the above post and tell our kids they can't watch a movie unless mom or dad approve. There have been many times when they've been at a friends house and called home to check if a movie was ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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