vlgimmelli Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 My son during school today got so upset that he started yelling, and screaming and telling me he hates me and started hitting me and wanting to hurt me. He is 12 years old and also has aspergers. I normally would yell back, but this time I chose to not yell and not get angry and just let him act out his anger, which made him even angrier. He wanted to get a reaction from me, but I didn't give it to him. It was very difficult but all the while I just prayed and it ceased after a while and he went to his room. With these types of tantrums happening a few times a week, my husband wants to put him back in PS, which I do not want to. I am in such a dilemma. Family member keep telling me that PS is the best thing for him and my husband is also wondering if it is best for him since I should not be going through this and he believes that being away from home for a few hours I would not have to go through things like this. Any one out there going and has gone through similar situations, how are you or have you worked it out???:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rafiki Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misty Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 Sounds like he needs some emotion coaching.. He needs to be taught that anger is an acceptable and valid emotion.. However, what he does with that anger is what can get him in trouble.. It is not okay to destroy things, call people names, say hurtful things, etc. It is okay to say "I'm so angry!" and scream and stomp, punch his pillow, etc.. Teach him what to do with his anger during a neutral time and then coach him when he is in the moment. I believe the book Parent Effectiveness Training explains emotion coaching quite well.. I remember reading a few other books on the subject, but I can't remember which ones.. Maybe you could do a google search. And good for you for not reacting! We need to ACT, but not REACT, when our kids have unacceptable angry outbursts. I have one child who is still learning how to control anger/emotions and I know how tough it can be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vlgimmelli Posted June 6, 2011 Author Share Posted June 6, 2011 I am happy that I did not react. I can say that I am mentally drained from the whole thing. I just thank God for His strength through the whole thing. I just pray it gets easier and easier for me and his tantrums. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I am happy that I did not react. I can say that I am mentally drained from the whole thing. I just thank God for His strength through the whole thing. I just pray it gets easier and easier for me and his tantrums. Thanks It probably won't get easier for a while, though. You son will most likely ESCALATE the tantrum behavior, especially if he is already at the point of hitting you, before he gives up. Lots of Aspies "get stuck" with certain behavior patterns and it takes a lot of patience to get them unstuck.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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