jlmom Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 So we have the same problem with neighborhood kids but with a few twists: 1) Most of them aren't friends with my kids, who are young (7&4). They're just random kids I've never seen who show up every (yes, every) time my kids are playing outside. Why? That's #2 2)Our neighborhood is not affluent. Lots of kids have little parental support/guidance/money and even less supervision. So everyone over the age of 4 (yup, 3 or 4) is allowed to roam the town without parents. My kids are not allowed to leave our yard. I feel horrible for these kids and want to help them but if I fed them all I'd be broke. Plus, I don't know any of their parents and I don't know of allergies, etc. I'd be afraid to give someone something and have them be allergic to it. So our general rule is no snacks unless we've invited them over and we know them. 3)Many of them exhibit behaviors that we don't allow. Today a kid almost spit on my son's head. I'm constantly babysitting these kids. How do I nicely tell them that they can't always play here? I don't want to be rude and some of them could really use a positive environment. I want to help them, but I also don't feel that it's my job to babysit them all summer. Our daughter doesn't understand why she can't roam around like the other kids. Sorry for rambling. I'm just really frustrated, especially after tonight. My husband says that they're just kids and that that kid has probably never been told not to spit. But ON someone??? And how do I nicely tell them that we're not giving out snacks? I plan on putting out a pitcher of water, but no kool aid or juice. Does this sound too harsh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 No kid ever died from not getting a snack. (Ok, health issues, ie diabetes aside) I think we're getting (as a general society) a wee bit food/snack obsessed. Water is great. If someone doesn't want water, then they're not that thirsty. Its ok to say, "Sorry, now isn't a good time to play, maybe another day." Or, "Sorry, but you're not playing nicely. You need to go home now." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 Oh, I have been there. I am very generous with neighborhood kids. BUT, I don't feed kids if I don't know the parents. You want something to eat? Sorry honey, your grandma or mom has to walk over here and talk to me and give me permission first. That is our house rule. If I don't know your mom, then I am not allowed to feed you. If you want a drink then there is water. Bad behavior? If you do that again, you have to leave. That is our house rule. I am kind but I am firm. I do not leave my kids outside to play alone if there are kids in my yard I don't know. I will sit on the porch with my laptop and monitor their every move. I referee, I demand apologies, I ask them to rephrase, I monitor their play and redirect to non-violent games. I tell them to keep their hands to themselves and if they can't then they can't stay. In short, if you are not 'my kind of kid' I will parent you until you don't want to stay and play at my house or your behavior changes. I am the person who bakes for the tribe of kids, but I will bounce you for bad behavior or language or anything else. And I don't feed you if I don't actually know your caretaker. I also don't allow kids inside my house if I don't know their family. That is a safety issue. I won't allow my children inside someone's house if I haven't met their parents and know who lives there and something about them. That is a big one for me. Even if that means one friend has to go home, that is the way it is. If I don't know your parents then you can't come inside. That must mean you live close so you can go home to go to the bathroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 No kid ever died from not getting a snack. (Ok, health issues, ie diabetes aside) I think we're getting (as a general society) a wee bit food/snack obsessed. Water is great. If someone doesn't want water, then they're not that thirsty. Its ok to say, "Sorry, now isn't a good time to play, maybe another day." Or, "Sorry, but you're not playing nicely. You need to go home now." :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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