HS Attitudes

[missiemick]

It is all I can do to get my kids to do their lessons each day -- they act like I'm killing them! My oldest throws a huge fit each time I ask her to do something that she's not in the mood for. The same goes for the other kids -- somedays my daughter is in the mood for practicing her reading and most days, not. All they really want to do is build tents (or read -- in the case of my oldest.) I start working with one child and then have to drag the others back out of their rooms because they've managed to make their way back to their game/tent.

This is our first year to HS and I've purposefully tried to make the transition a smooth one but this is definitely NOT the attitude that I want.

Any advice?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Routines are your friend. You need to have a routine for when they wake up, breakfast etc. and then do school. I would suggest that it would be best in your case to not let them play before school because it's too hard to pull them out of it. Think of it this way, if you had them in ps, you would have to have wake up routines etc. and getting on the school bus routines, they would have routines at school. . . Write out the routines for them - either on a poster that everyone can see or individual ones that they can refer to. When they veer off, just calming say, "What does the schedule say?" or "What is our routine for this time?" or what I say now (my kids have had routines for a long time) "What are you supposed to be doing?"

[Margo out of lurking]

It is all I can do to get my kids to do their lessons each day -- they act like I'm killing them! My oldest throws a huge fit each time I ask her to do something that she's not in the mood for. The same goes for the other kids -- somedays my daughter is in the mood for practicing her reading and most days, not. All they really want to do is build tents (or read -- in the case of my oldest.) I start working with one child and then have to drag the others back out of their rooms because they've managed to make their way back to their game/tent.

This is our first year to HS and I've purposefully tried to make the transition a smooth one but this is definitely NOT the attitude that I want.

Any advice?

 

I would guess that the younger children are following the example of your oldest. If you can work on her attitude, the others will likely follow suit. She's 9? Whatever you are doing, you might change your strategy. If she's sent to her room when she misbehaves, make her sit by you for several hours a day, whether you are doing school work with the other children, fixing food in the kitchen, etc. (Punishing my kids to their rooms worked against me. They were alone and could continue to convince themselves how horrible I was, surrounded by their own things, and no demands of family life or expectations.)

 

I'd consider giving her absolutely no schoolwork for a few days--and nothing else for fun (certainly no books, no tent building, nothing). Boredom gets old very quickly.

 

If their bedrooms/tents are distractions during the school day, the consequence should include no more privileges to be playing in/with them until all work is done.

 

I'd also make sure that you are not expecting too much in the way of time spent on schoolwork. The first year *is* the hardest, for anyone used to ps to find their place rejoining the family every day, for the younger ones to get used to sharing Mom full time again, for you to juggle everyone in a way that your lives continue to run smoothly for all of you. Have you already tried rewarding, "You can build tents all you want, as soon as we ALL get done with our school work!" If you are not already in an established, workable routine, now is the time to begin. I began making daily schedules for my children around this age, because it gave them the ability to know what they needed to do, and they could begin without me. They also knew exactly what to expect each day.

 

The ages change, don't they, but the balancing act as a Mom is never-ending!