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Need a 1 minute+ Joke for my ds12

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I just googled "good clean jokes" and came up with a long list.


I scanned them for longer jokes (don't look at the ones "for kids" -- they're way too short)


I found this one, but I'm sure there are more.



Women Should Not Have Children After 35


This is one of those controversial statements but I fully stand behind it.

Women should not have children after 35!

Some say, "Of course women can have children after 35!"

They don't know what they are talking about and I can guarantee they have had very little experience in the matter.

I don't care what the doctor says.

I don't care what your friends say.

I don't even care what your pastor says.

Women should not have children after 35!

I don't advise it, I vehemently recommend against it,

and loudly and even at times rudely tell people "don't even consider it."

You can quote me on this. If you want to say that I said it. And I said it more than once.

"Women should not have children after 35!"

Some will send rude e-mails proclaiming the freedom of the womb but I still stand by what I said.

You may disagree with me, that's your right.

I still stand firm on the issue.

With most things I keep an open mind but not on this issue.

If I find an exception to this rule, then I will be open to change

but for now, it's firmly closed because I have never seen an exception.

Women should not have children after 35!


35 children are enough!


I wish I could remember jokes, I've heard some good ones lately. I'll ask my ds if he knows any.

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My dd had to do 3 minutes of jokes for a speech class one time, and she did all horse jokes. Here's the favorite (she drew it out and dramatized it a bit:)


Monday, I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. I went horseback riding.


Everything was going fine until the horse starts bouncing out of control. I tried with all my might to hang on, but was thrown off.


Just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot gets caught in the stirrup. When this happened, I fell head first to the ground. My head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down.


Just as I was giving up hope and losing consciousness the Walmart manager came and unplugged it.

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