Should I be worried

[tuzor]

Today my husband tells me that although he has come a long way in his support for hs.. He still feels that we will miss something in preparing our children for life outside of our home. I understand his concern, I want to do my best but I just wish he was as fired up about hs as I am. He has agreed as long as we give standardized test at the end of the year. This is comforting and worrisome at the same time. I know many hs'ers score above on standardized tests but it also makes me wonder what if my child scores below. Will he freak out and resent me.. I don't know. :confused:

[NanceXToo]

Give him a little time- my husband wasn't AGAINST home schooling but he wasn't as gung ho about it as I was and he was a little more worried about it than I was, too. (Of course, I was the one who did all the research). But once we started doing it- he enjoyed having more time with our daughter (who I pulled out of public school toward the end of third grade), and he saw us doing neat things together, and since we have to have an evaluation at the end of each year here in PA, he saw that I was getting good feedback on what we were doing from our evaluator (and weren't getting problems from the school district in regard to our portfolio, etc). I don't think he's at ALL worried or reluctant anymore.

 

You might want to join some sort of homeschool group, see if you can meet some people that you think your husband would click with, and get together with them now and then. Seeing that "normal" people, people he likes, are homeschooling too might be helpful for him. (Heck, if I'm being honest, that was helpful for ME when I first started).

 

Is your husband a reader/intellect type? if so, there are plenty of good books out there you might want to suggest or leave for him- things by John Holt and John Taylor Gatto, things that address all the many, many problems with our "education system"- maybe that will ease his mind about the fact that you're doing the right thing, that public schools really aren't such great places.

 

There are books and articles about homeschoolers who have gone on to do great things when it came time for "life outside of their homes." Point out to him that many homeschoolers apprentice themselves in their field of interest. Many not only get into but are recruited by colleges of their choices. Many become self-employed. They don't spend 12 years "preparing" for life shut away in a classroom- they live life. They end up MORE "prepared" if you ask me, because they've been in the real world all along, not shut away their whole childhood and teen years "preparing" for it.

 

I don't know what your local districts are like. But around here, the newspaper comes out every year with results of standardized testing at all of our local schools. Considering that's all they teach in school these days- the test- their scores are dismal. In most grades, subjects and instances, they don't even meet state average. If yours are similarly bad, and many are, show him that. Because, believe me, this reassures myself (and perhaps my husband) that I could not POSSIBLY do a worse job with my child than the school would. And I certainly have her best interests at heart. And I certainly give my kids a lot more one on one instruction and attention than a busy schoolteacher with 30 kids in her class could.

 

If you have to provide standardized tests, go with the CAT-E from Seton. It's pretty short, pretty easy, pretty inexpensive, just covers the basics, etc. Your kids are very young- when does he expect you to START testing? Here in PA we're only required to test in 3rd, 5th, and 8th grades, and I don't think he should make you test a 1st grader... so maybe you can say to him "okay we'll test each year, but not starting until third grade, 1st is very young" and see if he'll agree to that.

 

When you order the test- especially if you're ONLY doing it to appease your husband, and especially if you have to do it at a young age, look it over first. See if there are things on there that you haven't covered yet. Then go over those things. Schools "teach to the test," why shouldn't you- if only briefly and if only so your husband doesn't freak out and make you send the kids to school :P

 

Or- if that doesn't sit right with you- tell him you agree but that you want the first year used as a baseline, not something that's going to be used against you or the children. Even if they don't do so well with their very first test- that's not what matters. What matters is if in subsequent years they are MAKING PROGRESS. If they do better the second year than they did the first- great!

 

OK that's all I can think of off the top of my head and I probably just rambled a lot so I'll shut up now. Good luck with everything! :grouphug:

[GypsieFamily]

We started saying, hmm, we'll see how this goes. Dh wasn't against it, but he wasn't keen either. Now, when people ask about it, he'll sing the praises of hs and describe what's involved. Often he will be the one to explain it to other people these days.

 

Give him time, as long as he's not against it, he'll either see the benefits of it, or you'll both realize it's not for your family. It generally tends to become a lifestyle, and child-rearing in general thing rather than purely academic.

[boscopup]

Does he know other homeschooled kids? I agree with others that time will likely change his mind, and it's good that he's "ok" with it now, even if he's not gung ho like you are.

 

My husband was against it years ago, but now he's met several homeschool families at church and seen how their kids are (they tend to interact better with adults and be better behaved in general). When I brought it up earlier this school year as something I'd like to do (our son was in private school and very bored), he immediately thought it was a good idea! Now if I ask him if he wants to look at the curriculum I chose, he doesn't really care (he trusts me to pick that out and handle it), but he sees the benefits of homeschooling now. I imagine by next year, he'll be singing the praises of homeschooling at work and elsewhere, like he's done with midwifery/homebirth (which he initially said "absolutely not" to - until he got more information and experienced the different options, learning which one made more sense for us). It just takes him more time to warm up to new ideas.

[Mom22ns]

As with the other posters, my dh was not excited at all about homeschooling. All the homeschoolers we had met were academically behind and/or had terrible social skills. I did all the research. I was the one who decided it was a great idea. He went along saying "If you really think its best" but clearly didn't think it was.

 

Fast forward three years. I think he recognizes all the great things that have come from homeschooling. I don't think he is at all concerned about our children's social skills (which have blossomed since coming home). He definitely isn't worried about their academics. I think he would still like to see dd go to ps for high school for sports, but I don't think he will ever say so out loud. We give the kids their choice but he is almost as sold on homeschooling as I am now.

[tuzor]

Thanks,

 

I have suggested to my husband that he should start attending the confrences so he can hear the stories. But he says that no stranger is going to convince him. We have friends that hs as well and that has helped him some. He says he would like to put him in public school just to see what its like. I guess since our children have never been to "school" he feels like he has nothing to compare it to. I try not to have all our hs friends always talk about it because he says that ganging up on him is not going to work either.

 

We are apart of a homeschool group and we attend a co-op on Friday. Hubby is real happy with that. In addition my K son plays sports so he does get outside interaction. I really can't see what else he wants. But then again he was sent to boarding school at eight and then straight to college so his culture/experience around school is very different than mine. I have also explained to him that sending children to boarding school is a concept that I just can't imagine. Children raising themselves, what kind of nonsense is that. He also says that we can't keep them away from the world. The world is like air its all around you. While I do understand his point I dont think I should just give my lamb over to wolves and pray for the best.

 

About the standardized testing I have agreed to do it because that's what he wants. I also told him that generally children don't test at such a young age so perhaps after this year he will relax more.

 

On a positive note he does say that he is happy with the progress he sees in our children. So for what its worth I will continue to do what I am doing. Hoping and praying that he comes around.

[ChrissySC]

Perhaps he needs to help. :) We also involve our kids in many activities outside the home. As well, I call it quits after 5 hours of activities/lessons. I don't care if we are done or not. I leave dh to be the receiver of reading aloud, spelling list help, math drills, etc. I have him do some of the science experiments - which is amusing at best. But, perfect is not my goal. Learning is.

 

I find most dh complaints stem from them not experiencing homeschool. And, we always send our dc to ps for a couple of elementary grades. I found it helps them appreciate me!

 

Being part of a group is a must for us too. Dc need social interaction. You can only spend so much time in your pj's! LOL :D

[johnandtinagilbert]

Give him time. Your son is YOUNG. You have a few years for him to see the difference. Once he spends some time in public school circles, he'll see the difference and won't need any convincing. Don't worry, it's wasted energy; instead, put that effort into schooling and KNOCK HIS SOCKS OFF with how intelligent, well rounded, and well behaved your children are.