i want to quit!

[lisa diane]

I am new to homeschooling and I am ready to give it up. DS is 11 with something going on... not sure what (possibly ADD). He can focus on anything except for school work. This is driving me crazy!! I mean crazy!! We have been trying to get one page done for 2 hours. I unfortunately lost my temper and sent him to his room. Does this stuff every get better?. We were on focalin xr for 3 days and he had dizziness and nausea for the entire time. I have put a call in to the Dr. I just want to send him back to school and forget this. I really do know that is probably not a good option, but it sure does feel good to think about it. How he managed to fly under the radar with this throughout the entire school year I will never know. I am just tired and very frustrated with life right now.

[KatieJo]

Oh, my dear!

 

:grouphug:

 

I want to encourage you to press on. Get the medication issue resolved and get the diagnosis of what is going on with this child. It is completely frustrating that this has gone unrecognized and untreated for so long. But the buck stops with you. No one loves and cares enough about your child to be tough and tenacious as long as it takes to get him the help he needs. He needs you to be that one, Mom!

 

Can you try a different approach to school while you are figuring these things out? Worksheets can be the worst! Maybe reading aloud together, playing math games with him, doing messy, fun experiments and taking field trips.

It could be that you can use this time of evaluation and adjustment to build your relationship.

 

I (and most all of the parents on this board) have felt just like this at many points in the journey. Stay the course. There are answers for you and wonderful days ahead for both of you.

 

Katie

[Guest]

More :grouphug:

 

Homeschooling can be tough with any eleven-year-old; it's even tougher with a kid with learning challenges. But it can also be incredibly rewarding for both of you if you can manage to get past what is almost always a hard stretch in the beginning. Don't give up just yet! As the previous poster said, make sure you follow up on medical issues, get a learning evaluation if you possibly can (ours, by a neuropsychologist, was worth its weight in gold), and relax a bit while you two think about what kind of "school" will work best for both of you right now.

 

I know you probably feel so pressed to make up for lost times and get right down to learning and remediating. But remember that homeschooling is as much about your relationship as about the content of school, and put some time into that, and into helping your child recover pleasure in things like stories, mental puzzles, history, and messing around with science.

 

Many, many kids are not worksheet/textbook kids. How do you think your son learns best? Does he like to read, or does he prefer to watch documentaries or science programs? Does he like hands-on work? What does he balk at most; and is there another way to go about the things that are posing the biggest challenges right now? There are so many, many resources out there to suit so many different ways of tackling a subject. You are certainly not confined to a conventional curriculum which may not fit your child's style.

 

Many kids simply need to move around while they work, or break up work with running around the yard, jumping on a trampoline, or doing jumping jacks. One mom on these boards had a son who did all his writing on a computer, standing up at the kitchen counter. Many kids prefer working on whiteboards to paper. For years my dd did math with different colors of chalk, on the driveway. It doesn't all have to happen at a desk or table.

 

My dd listened to book on audiotape (still does, actually) until her independent reading stamina grew enough to match the kinds of books she was interested in. We discussed everything she listened to or that we read together; she did very little written work until junior high. Your son can practice all of the skills associated with articulating his thoughts, paying close attention to what he reads or hears, ordering his ideas, without having to do it in writing every single day.

 

At age eleven, in spite of the load of worries I'm sure you feel so hanging over you at this point, kids still learn tremendous amounts from visiting museums, taking field trips, building collections for science, playing board games and building with Legos or science kits. There are lots of math games available to practice basic computation skills at different levels. If you have a reluctant writer, Peggy Kaye's Games For Writing has a lot of wonderful ideas for turning writing into a non-threatening, non-stressful playful activity.

 

The more you can get away from anything that leaves the two of you locked in mortal combat over a worksheet or a textbook, the better. You can still work on all the skills your child needs to work on, in different formats that will be less of a battle and therefore more likely to stick. Taking the time to figure out how your child learns best will be well spent indeed and will have consequences all the way through his education.

[Mom22ns]

How was he doing in school before you started homeschooling? I'm guessing there were issues or you wouldn't have brought him home.

 

What are the things he likes to do outside of school? One of the symptoms of ADD is hyperfocus. Typically, things that the child finds interesting can be focused on to the exclusion of all else. If it isn't interesting, concentration is a nightmare. I would look for the things he can focus on and see if you can find a way to bring them into school. For example, my ds loves video games. When we started homeschooling, he did most of his writing assignments about video games, characters in video games, video game programmers... you get the idea. Writing was his worst subject, so by giving him something he cared about for subject matter, it motivated him.

 

I would do all his work side by side with him. I would avoid worksheets and let him answer you verbally instead. Take turns reading the lessons so that he stays with you. Give him subjects that interest him as often as possible, and plenty of breaks after subjects that are difficult but necessary.

[Lisaroe]

I am new to homeschooling and I am ready to give it up. DS is 11 with something going on... not sure what (possibly ADD). He can focus on anything except for school work. This is driving me crazy!! I mean crazy!! We have been trying to get one page done for 2 hours. I unfortunately lost my temper and sent him to his room. Does this stuff every get better?. We were on focalin xr for 3 days and he had dizziness and nausea for the entire time. I have put a call in to the Dr. I just want to send him back to school and forget this. I really do know that is probably not a good option, but it sure does feel good to think about it. How he managed to fly under the radar with this throughout the entire school year I will never know. I am just tired and very frustrated with life right now.

 

Another person asked about curriculum. That is very important. The nice thing about homeschooling is you can adapt what you are teaching to fit your child.. My son with ADHD did a lot of games and projects instead of worksheets... We did applied math instead of worksheets...Real life math is wonderful like Number Power 1 and 2 for basic facts then we built a bird house...Writing a story (IEW) and acting it out... If you need more hands on curriculum try KONOS or shorter assignments for English try Learning Language Arts Through Literature.

 

Homeschooling is frustrating (It is the hardest most important job you will have... Very humbling...but the best time you will have...)

 

Hang in There...My son is now 17 and is holding 2 part time jobs and doing online school work independently.

[lisa diane]

I so much appreciate all of your comments and advice. Some of the things mentioned I have thought about, and others had not even crossed my mind. Thank you so much for your encouragement to hang in there. We brought ds home from public school because of bullying issues at school. We felt as if he had enough stress to deal with at home ( husband is a brittle diabetic, and 17 year old daughter has cerebral palsy and in a power wheelchair.) The diabetes and cerebral palsy can not be changed, but we could at least remove him from the stress he was experiencing at school. I had no idea that we would discover problems. My focus was going to be counseling for his anxiety about his sister and dad, and teaching him some social skills, which he seemed to be lagging behind in a bit. Considering that his sister has required so much of our attention, I thought that we must have dropped the ball with teaching him some basic social skills.

 

We have a 2nd appointment tomorrow with a psychologist. Also, he meets with his very sweet counselor this week. We will start a different medication Tuesday. Can't remember the name of it.

 

Thank you all again for your support and encouragement. I appreciate it more than you know. I hope that each of you have a blessed week.

Lisa Diane

[lisa diane]

Thank you:

Katie Jo

Karen Anne

Momto2Ns

Lisaroe

[cindergretta]

How long have you had him out of public school? He may need a transition time. Are you opposed to taking a few weeks "off" from "seat work?" Go on field trips, read books, build huge things out of blocks and legos, do science experiments, make crafts, play card games and board games, chill out and relax?

 

If you are comfortable with trying that, I would go with that course of action while you sort out meds and so forth. Let him adjust to being home and find the correct prescription and get used to that, too. Then you can slowly work back into "seat work" and find a routine that works for both of you. Finding the right curriculum for your family is maybe the single most important part. You need to find the one with which you are comfortable and with which your ds can work.

 

After many years, I have finally found one that we love. It is too late for my olders :( but my youngers are loving it! It can take a little time ;) but that is Ok.

 

(And we ALL have days we are ready to chuck it all! :grouphug: )

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[lisa diane]

Thank you Shari and cindergretta !!

 

I pulled him out 5 weeks before the last school year ended. We are doing a very watered down Abeka/DVD. After one week he was tired of the DVD's. Right now we are just trying to do math,language, and spelling/vocab. We also do a very simple Spectrum science. Most days we have not been able to complete that little bit of work.

I am trying to balance my task oriented mentality with his ADD/ADHD. It has not been a very good mix.

My fear has been that he will get behind to the point that I am unable to get him caught up.

Again, I appreciate your comments, encouragement, and support. You folks have been such a blessing to me!!! It certainly helps to know that there are others out there making it happen. Lisa Diane

[dakarimom5]

My 12yo DS has ADHD. We have been on every medication at least once, now he is medication free due to side effects. This is our first year hs and we are havng issues but at this point I just take it one day at a time. For science we use Jason.org just to breakup the monotony of the day. He likes the games and the videos. One thing that helps is we check out the same books at the library and then we talk about them..we read the first book in the 39 clue series after we talked about Ben Franklin. Just because something isn't a "school" book doesn't mean you won't learn something.