Fallen off track

[mommy4ever]

We did so great in September, then I got sick. The older girls kept going, some, they are not where I'd hoped to be. And the little one has barely done anything work wise.

 

I'm having a hard time getting back on schedule. I'm not so concerned about being 'behind', but we just aren't getting back to it. I'm *STILL* sick, coughing, so it's hard with so much out loud with dd6.

 

I can't get the girls to focus for really any length of time. I'm starting to stress here.

 

DD11 is bucking long and hard. She fights tooth and nail about doing anything at all. She has a really poor attitude and tries to cry her way out of any consequence. And when that works, it's a full blown tantrum. I told dh we are not to cave, as it's gotten ridiculous.

 

If I don't sit next to dd6 the whole time she's working, she disappears. Then it's a battle to get her to sit down unless I put my 'mean mommy' hat on.

 

DD13 is doing ok.. but she would rather not be working... she will though. She's lost momentum by quite a bit.

 

How do I get us back on track?

[Pam Wilhelm]

Hang in there. :grouphug: We kind of did the same thing. We were going along great then everyone got sick and before you know it we are "off" more than we are "on".

 

When I find us in this predicament I usually try to focus on one subject and just worry about getting that done. Math is our key subject, and if we can get that done then I don't feel so bad. Slowly I will add the other subjects and before you know it we are doing a full day again....of course, then one kid gets sick, then another, then another, then me..... :lol:

 

As for the attitude...... I talk plain and harsh with my kids. I've told them, in no uncertain terms.... they do this stuff with me or they do it in public school. They have the choice to get up at 8 am or to get up in the wee hours and have the typical stress to get ready for public school. My kids do not want to go to ps...so this works. I hate being the mean mom, but I hate the idea of being charged with educational neglect even more. I have said this to my kids and they've decided that they kind of like having me around....their education is their responsibility...and not just mine.

 

They're not perfect, and they love to play hooky as much as I do.... but we finally knuckle down and do what need to gets done.

 

Good luck. Sometimes you just have to put on the Mean Mom hat......

[Guest mrsjamiesouth]

I think you just have to start a routine and stick with it. Be consistant.

[MerryAtHope]

I'm sorry you've been sick! I don't know if you are up for this yet, but when I've had times like this, I take a week off of school and do a kind of "boot camp." I focus on chores and things that need to be done around the house and basic obedience--coming when called, good attitude etc... I tell my kids that they don't have to like doing something, but they do have to do it with a good attitude. I don't go stomping around the house, yelling & refusing to do things I don't like--I do them to serve my family. So...we are all going to serve and help each other, and here's where we start. I have more details written up if you'd like me to post them later, I'm on my way out the door for the day. But the week is about working together, working diligently, obedience, and relationship building (we play games etc... together too).

 

When we have basic obedience in place, then I reintroduce school.

 

You might also evaluate whether your 6 yo is doing too much, sometimes that can happen and contribute to attitudes & wandering etc...

 

I also like to evaluate why kids are bucking--is it just an obedience issue? Is it a curriculum issue? Are they struggling for some reason and I need to listen and pay attention to figure out what it is? etc... Sometimes there are even undiagnosed medical issues or learning disabilities. It sounds like your 11 yo's behavior might be related to age and you being sick, but if it was going on before this, you might dig some more into what's going on.

 

Once you know the source, then you can deal effectively with the issue.

 

I hope you're feeling better soon!

 

Merry :-)

[RamonaQ]

It looks to me like you all are still pretty new at homeschooling.

 

1-Does each child have a schedule, in which they know what to do and check it off. This helped us a lot!

 

2-In our family, there are rewards associated with finishing the work on the schedule and having it checked by mom (screen time).

 

3-A plan to work on behavioral issues. I feel this one is a work in progress. With one child, if they are having bad attitude etc... I can just walk away. He usually gets it together, apologizes and we move on (he really wants the screen time). For my other, sigh, we have definitely gotten better-- she is pretty easily doing her work with only minor emotional outbursts. I did the usual suspects-- lose screen time, have her write a behavioral agreement, I walk away.

 

4-You really may need to just "be" there, especially with the youngers, while they learn to work. In fact, for subjects that are challenging for my older, sometimes I just need to "be" there. I think my presence helps them stay calm and focused.

 

5-Sometimes I just fake it until I make it. Many times I just bring "my up-beat, can't believe we are so lucky to learn new things together" attitude, even when I don't feel like it, or when I am feeling a bit run-down from parenting.

 

I am just going to say, it is a work in progress but having a plan definitely helps.

[cheryl h]

I'm sorry you've been sick! I don't know if you are up for this yet, but when I've had times like this, I take a week off of school and do a kind of "boot camp." I focus on chores and things that need to be done around the house and basic obedience--coming when called, good attitude etc... I tell my kids that they don't have to like doing something, but they do have to do it with a good attitude. I don't go stomping around the house, yelling & refusing to do things I don't like--I do them to serve my family. So...we are all going to serve and help each other, and here's where we start. I have more details written up if you'd like me to post them later, I'm on my way out the door for the day. But the week is about working together, working diligently, obedience, and relationship building (we play games etc... together too).

 

When we have basic obedience in place, then I reintroduce school.

 

You might also evaluate whether your 6 yo is doing too much, sometimes that can happen and contribute to attitudes & wandering etc...

 

I also like to evaluate why kids are bucking--is it just an obedience issue? Is it a curriculum issue? Are they struggling for some reason and I need to listen and pay attention to figure out what it is? etc... Sometimes there are even undiagnosed medical issues or learning disabilities. It sounds like your 11 yo's behavior might be related to age and you being sick, but if it was going on before this, you might dig some more into what's going on.

 

Once you know the source, then you can deal effectively with the issue.

 

I hope you're feeling better soon!

 

Merry :-)

 

 

Firstly, don't be discouraged, it happens to everyone. When you get sick, not only do formal lessons get behind, but everything around the house, and the truth is even the best mannered kids will take advantage of some slack time when given the chance. What has helped us in the past is to take a few days and put the house back together and do fun things. This accomplished 2 things: order and comradery(sp?). When behavior issues run me down, I find it's better if we take a break from our routine and do something else before I blow my lid completely. I can't explain why, but the behavior issues seem to be far less after we have a few purposeful but fun days off from school. Before we start our few days off, I also give a warning that goes something like this, "Boy we really need to get this place back in shape, I can't think straight in this mess, because Monday we have a LOT to do." And I hate to have to still give the "we are leaving in 5 minutes" sort of warning especially to my older kids, but it helps them mentally prepare to hit it hard when it's time. Hang in there!

[5LittleMonkeys]

First, :grouphug:and I hope you feel better soon. It STINKS trying to teach when you don't feel good.

 

I completely understand where you are coming from. This year we seem to go in cycles where we will do really good for a couple of weeks and then we will loose momentum. We have been off track for a couple of weeks now and I think I finally found out why. The schedule I created is for someone else's family. :glare: I had the two olders and I getting up at 6. We are not morning people. I am re-working the schedule around our natural morning routine. We naturally get up around 7:30 and can be finished with breakfast and morning chores by 8:30. So our new schedule will have us starting at 8:30 instead of 7.

 

I would look first to see if you can re-work your schedule to be more conducive to how your dc like to work. For example dd12 likes to get her math out of the way before anything else so I will have her doing math first thing. Dd11 likes to put off jumping into school so I have her watching the 2yo first thing. Dd7 likes to do a little work and then have a break so I have her work first then switch off with dd11 to watch the baby for an hour. She gets to play and I get time to work with the others. Ask your dc for input. Could you sit down with them and explain what you are trying to accomplish and ask for their help in creating a routine that everyone will be happy with? Maybe that would help make everyone more cooperative. I know when I give my dd11 the opportunity to have a say in how\when she does her schooling she is much more willing to do it.

 

If I were in your shoes I would resolve myself to taking a few days to re-assess your schedule\curriculum and talk to everyone about their attitudes. I have done what Merry advised on many occasions. In fact we are on a 6 week on 1 week off schedule, so every six weeks we all have a bit of boot camp. I've tried going the mean mom route too, and although it will get you immediate results, the results aren't long term. This afternoon you will have to be mean mom again, then tomorrow and the next day.... If you give your dc ownership of their education; make them feel like it is a partnership, and that their education depends on their cooperation, they may be willing to complete their work. We re-examine every six weeks. We talk about the schedule, curriculum, attitudes, plans for the next six weeks, etc. Basically I try to let them have as much input as possible without handing everything over completely. We are about to embark on a more self-interest project based method for history and science per their request and they are super excited about it. Kiddos like doing things that are their ideas. This is especially helpful when your dc are older.

 

My dd12 and dd11 rarely balk at getting their work done anymore. Occasionally dd11 will throw an attitude around and I will just remind her that I will not issue her a diploma just because she is 17. Her father and I have made it clear that their is a certain body of knowledge she must show proficiency in and she must also show a certain amount of maturity in her attitude and actions before we will stop homeschooling her. I am not above making her repeat a grade or portion of a grade if I feel she isn't ready to move on either academically or emotionally. And she knows that.:D

 

Hmm, well that was probably more information than you were looking for. But, I suppose it relates in that if you can't get your dc's cooperation, and if they have a bad attitude about their education, it will be very hard to stay on schedule regardless of how well thought out it is or how good your intentions are.

 

Oh, I wanted to add...couldn't your 13yo do some of the verbal work with your 6yo until you are feeling better? Or better yet, give that darling 11yo the responsibility of tutoring the 6yo. It's amazing to me how mature and eager my dd11 gets when I task her with "teaching" the little ones. ;) Just a thought.

[NineChoirs]

Life does get busy! I have been where you have been many times. Everything seems to fall apart when the routine gets mixed up and it is so hard to get back on track. I have found that the biggest help is daily student lesson plans. If I have those done, everything goes smoothly. I used to do them 1 or 2 weeks at a time. I felt this would allow me to be flexible. The problem was, when things got crazy (which seemed to be often), I wouldn't have time to write lesson plans. So everything fell apart. Getting started again was so hard, it was so easy to put it off.

 

Now I do lesson plans 1/2 school year at a time. I can do them when I have the time and then don't have to worry about it again for months. I can still be flexible and change things a little here and there on the fly, (double up certain days to create a day off, reduce number of questions, increase copywork, drop or add a movie or a book etc..) but if things get busy, my daughter knows what to do. I usually write up the first two weeks, work through those, then write up the rest. That way it gives me more room for major curriculum changes (it really only takes two weeks to know whether or not something is working). Then I make any necessary tweaks and finish out the plans.

 

This also allows me to make major changes at the halfway point if I want to, which is usually when those kinds of changes need to be done. If I do make major changes at the halfway point I would again write up a two week trial daily plan followed by the rest of the year. If there are no major changes then I would just finish the plans for the rest of the year.

 

When I write up the lesson plans I make sure everyday consists of independent work in every subject that needs to be done that day (we only do math and literature for 5 days a week, everything else is 4 days a week). Then I add in notations for teacher assisted work. That way if for whatever reason I cannot assist, they still have a full set of lessons that they can do on their own. Jumping back in is much easier this way. I also set up a calendar schedule that I hold myself accountable to. Even in a ps there are days or even weeks where subs come in. On these days the kids do mostly independent work. As long as they are doing something in each subject, then they are learning.

 

Lesson plans are really the key here, but you also have to make sure students can use those lesson plans even if you are not available. You will find yourself much more motivated to stick to a schedule if you know it won't all fall apart everytime something comes up.

 

I also plan for them to get through the entire yearly syllabus and all their schoolbooks in 32 weeks. This allows 4 weeks to allow for field trips, extracurricular activities, additional reading, sick days etc... Even though I have a set calendar I could always use these days in the regular school year if I absolutely needed to. If we don't use them then we are finished four weeks early. This is motivation for the students to stay on track.

 

As for your kids not wanting to do work on their own, there should be no free time until they are caught up to their lesson plans. They can have attitudes if they want to, but they have to realize that tears and temper tantrums aren't going to do their schoolwork for them. And I am sure they don't want to spend their weekends doing math & english!

 

As for the 6 year old, I wouldn't worry too much at that age. Try to buy him learning toys and puzzles and activity/coloring books. If you can't sit with him you can pull out an educational toy for him to play with independently. Only let him use these items on days you can't sit with him. That will help them to stay exciting and fun. Focus really isn't what six year old boys are known for. So, if you aren't able to sit with him and convince him to focus you need to use resources which he will focus on because he enjoys them.

[johnandtinagilbert]

I think you just have to start a routine and stick with it. Be consistant.

 

I think you've received some great advice and it all boils down to the above. Attitudes will need adjustment time as homeschooling is still a new way of life for your family.

 

Try and eat well and get better! Your health will make all the difference in your ability to enjoy, follow through and keep your happy face on!

 

Work in spurts with the 6yo.

 

Keep the slacker nearby with a sharp eye on her!

 

Find something special to do with the 13 for her diligence.

 

Can one of the girls read aloud for you, as you sit with the 6yo?

 

Best wishes in your health and getting back on track.