kid scared to be evaluated

[dragons in the flower bed]

My nine-year-old is being seen by a therapist for about eight hours of evaluation and intake, over three to five sessions, starting in two weeks.

 

I love and trust this clinician. She is someone my kiddo has seen before, years ago, but just twice and for something else. In the interim my ex-husband has convinced my child that therapists are evil people who will put you in the hospital and shock you and drug you beyond sentience. (I didn't know he was talking to the kiddo about this stuff. Their only contact is an hour-long conversation every three weeks.)

 

I've been trying to talk to my nine-year-old about what to expect, but the kid is clammed up. I'm not sure how to help now.

 

Can anyone recommend fiction that features a positive experience with counseling? My kiddo won't read anything non-fiction on the subject, but will read any fiction I hand over. Anything on Asperger Syndrome for kids or teens would be great, too. I am almost certain this experience is going to end in that diagnosis.

[Guest]

I will think about your question more, but the first thing I thought -- after I closed my jaw again from the drop it had when I read what your ex had done -- was that you need to call the therapist and explain to her what dynamics are in play here. Get her suggestions; no doubt she has seen just about everything and can give you specific advice on how to talk to your child. Maybe you will need to make a half hour appointment for you, your child, and the therapist to get the anxiety out of the way. I can't imagine the test results will be accurate if you child is so panicked she can't concentrate. Best, best wishes -- you are in a horrible position right now.

[dragons in the flower bed]

Thank you, KarenAnne. That's a great suggestion and I will do that.

[Laurie4b]

I will think about your question more, but the first thing I thought -- after I closed my jaw again from the drop it had when I read what your ex had done -- was that you need to call the therapist and explain to her what dynamics are in play here. Get her suggestions; no doubt she has seen just about everything and can give you specific advice on how to talk to your child. Maybe you will need to make a half hour appointment for you, your child, and the therapist to get the anxiety out of the way. I can't imagine the test results will be accurate if you child is so panicked she can't concentrate. Best, best wishes -- you are in a horrible position right now.

 

:iagree: Very good advice. Having the therapist handle it will also document that your ex says these kinds of things.

[ElizabethB]

When I was little, my brother told me that when they did the glaucoma test, they poked a needle in your eye. I didn't tell my parents that and was a horrible subject when they did the actual test. To this day, I still flinch when I have the glaucoma test even though I know what really happens.

 

Maybe sharing this story would help?

 

Maybe you could have the therapist call or send an e-mail with a short description of what will be done and not done.

[Saille]

All I can say right now is

 

:mad::mad::mad:

[dragons in the flower bed]

We saw the therapists today and yesterday. The kiddo did pretty much cry and balk the whole way there (two hours!) but as soon as it was revealed that these were smiling, friendly women who had Uno and Catopoly in their office, all those words of my ex-husbands melted away into irrelevancy. Huzzah!

 

Now if I could just get over the fact that those smiling, friendly therapists think school would be a great way to treat my kid because it would socialize the quirks away, everything would be copacetic.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

:grouphug:How on earth could your ex even think about saying that???

Edited March 19, 2010 by wy_kid_wrangler04

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

:banghead:The ex has to go