Toileting issues in five year old dd--fear of toilet

[Kidlit]

DH and I are really grasping at straws over this particular issue, so he thought it would be a good idea for me to mine the collective wisdom and experience here and see if we can come up with some sort of solution, or at the least, encouragement.

 

Our 5 1/2 year old dd is afraid to have a bowel movement in the toilet. This only started about three weeks ago; up until then, she was very "regular" and had no problems at all going. The cause of this fear is the fact that she got extremely constipated due to some feeding issues (which have since been mostly resolved, thank God!) and had a very painful bowel movement. As far as we know, all of the physical issues "down below" have been rectified, but she still won't go. We're still giving her Miralax (per the doctor's advice) every other day since she's holding it in so much, so her bm's are generally soft. As I mentioned before, this is not her "normal" system--before, it was not unusual for her to have a bm after every meal. She will eventually go in her underpants or in a pull up (if we've put one on her out of desperation).

 

Advice, anyone? Anyone BTDT and lived to tell about it?:)

[Kidlit]

Anybody? Please?

[Dawn E]

We went through this with dd and it was agonizing, for all of us. She has an extremely strong will, so when she became determined not to hurt that way again, she withheld for as long as she could. Of course, she couldn't understand how detrimental it was. I'm afraid I don't have much advice...you've rectified the constipation issue. We never got the pull-ups out, and dd eventually worked through it with a lot of affirmations and encouragement. We prayed for her when she felt the urge to go, and I held her hands while she went. She finally became comfortable going again, and then we just had to keep her diet so that it didn't become an issue again. I'm sorry I can't offer more advice. It was just one of those tough things we had to walk through. I hope someone else can offer you more wisdom or advice. :grouphug: You will all make it.

[JeneralMom]

Sorry, I have never experienced this personally with any of my kids, but I have a dear friend who has. Her son absolutely refused to go after a similar situation to yours, and after months it turned out that he has fissures in his rectum that were causing continued pain internally, even with fiber and Miralax. Maybe she is still hurting internally?

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

Does she need Miralax daily? You could ask your doctor:)

[Tiff in TX]

:grouphug: We are currently going through this with DD 3.5

She would have maybe 2 bms every 8 or 9 days.

 

We too are doing the Mirilax regiment, but she gets it everyday. We also give her fiber gummies 3x's a day... PediaLax is the name I think.

 

It is a difficult process(we have been on the 'regiment' for 5 months now) and we talk with her quite a bit about it. The Saturday before Christmas was sooo bad that I had to give her a suppository... not fun at all.

 

The only advice I can offer is to talk to her about it. When she goes, ask her if it hurt and make a big deal out of it if it doesn't.... "See, that didn't hurt and if you try to go everyday it will be even easier!" This may sound weird, but I also help my daughter prepare for a BM on the potty. We have a 'push' face and a stool that she can stable her feet on and we talk about where she should be pushing. I also let her hold my hands and squeeze.

 

Good luck... I feel your pain.

Edited January 6, 2010 by Tiff in TX

[Kidlit]

Thanks for the responses, everyone.

 

Yes, we have thought about the fact that maybe she has fissures, etc., but right now it seems very counterproductive to take her to the doctor to be looked at, poked, and prodded there. Of course, if she does have problems still, this would be the only way to know. . . what to do? This is tough.

[Kidlit]

Tiff in TX, I think I posted at the same time as you. :)

 

We've talked about it ad nauseum. We've even borrowed a nutrition/human body curriculum from dh's aunt who runs a program for K-1st graders. It's complete with dancing body parts (video); a doll with removable internal organs for the kids to see, hold, etc.; and "Peri Stolic," the colon, who needs good food to keep him flowing, etc. All of that was a hit, but it didn't "sink in."

 

I'm thinking we might need to investigate this more with the dr. She actually has an appointment in a bit because she has a cold/sore throat/fever, etc. Maybe we should bite the bullet since she HATES going to the dr. anyway and have him give her a thorough exam.

 

Prayers are appreciated.