15 yrs old son in 8th grade PS school

[happycc]

My 15 yrs old son with minor learning disability is in 8th grade PS school. He doesn't receive any services.

He wants to get our of school midyear (tomorrow) and be homeschooled again.

I homeschooled him till he was tens yr.

I placed him in school because I was a single working student mom.

He spent several years in school then i think 1st year of 6th grade he did independent study while I continued with nursing school as his father was in a severe biking accident and couldn't care for him or take him to school.

 

He is NOT doing well in school and wants to be homeschooled.

My ex says he is just trying to run away from his problems and also he is not willing to help fund for the homeschooling books/supplies.

 

My son does however want to go to a Christian High School but due to our finances I don;t see that as a possibility.

He says the Public school undermines his Christian beliefs.

 

Here is my current situation: I am a remarried woman with now 7 kids. My youngest is 5 months old. My oldest is my son and I have five girls in the middle who will be still attending school.

I don;t know what to do.

 

I need some advice....

[Harriet Vane]

Sounds like a tough choice. I pray that God will give you wisdom in this.

 

As far as running from his problems--sometimes that can be the healthiest choice a person can make. Your son could choose to put an end to some problems by choosing not to be a part of the environment that creates those problems. That sounds like a good choice to me.

 

As for the Christian school--just give them a try. There is financial aid available for people in your situation. Where they see genuine need and a student who is willing to work, they may find a way to make it possible.

 

I went to a Christian high school and received significant financial aid. For three years there was no one to help me. I worked for the school for one year. For two years I worked at a bookstore after school to pay my bill. At some point my youth pastor discovered that I was paying for my schooling and he and his wife settled the rest of my bill (I did not ask for this--God bless those kind, kind people).

[happycc]

 

• Thank you for responding. My son has never been motivated by school work per se. He fought me when I homeschooled him. He fought me while he was in school. He fought me when he independent studied.
  
• How would I know if he won;t fight me now?
  
• 
  

 

[Harriet Vane]

• Thank you for responding. My son has never been motivated by school work per se. He fought me when I homeschooled him. He fought me while he was in school. He fought me when he independent studied.
  
• How would I know if he won;t fight me now?
  
• 
  

 

It sounds like such a tough situation.

 

There is no way to know/predict if he will fight with you again. The only thing I can tell you to do, trite as it may sound, is to pray about it. It may be best for you to push through the fighting as homeschoolers. Or it may be best for him to fight in a school system so that your relationship with him is on a different ground.

 

One thing that concerns me is the lack of services. If he has been diagnosed with a learning disability he is entitled to services--appropriate services could make a big difference. Also it might make a big difference in your homeschooling (should you choose that route) if you have some training to deal with his disability??? Since I don't know you or him I cannot say--these are questions for you to think/pray over.

 

Your first concern should be for his spirit--what is the best setting for him spiritually? If he is truly suffering at school it may not be best for him there--a suffering spirit makes it hard to learn.

 

I suffered in very, very negative school environments and still have hurts from those places. On the other hand, I had a truly wonderful, very blessed Christian high school experience, for which I thank God. You have to look at the pros and cons of the specific options available to your ds and try to decided which situation will be the most positive for him.

 

:grouphug:

[Peela]

 

• Thank you for responding. My son has never been motivated by school work per se. He fought me when I homeschooled him. He fought me while he was in school. He fought me when he independent studied.

• How would I know if he won;t fight me now?

 

 

 

 

Well, he probably will fight you now.

I have a son who fights me and he always has. I have chosen not to put him in school, though.

At 15...does he have any sense of what he could do next? The year after next...or any sense of direction?

I feel that by that age, if a kid, particularly a strong willed kid, doesnt have a sense of direction, it can be hard to motivate them, and they can take out their frustrations on you, the mum.

My 15yo dd had no idea of what she wanted to do until a few months ago, and it has made all the difference in the world in her motivation that we have a plan now. She has one more year homeschooling with me before she goes off to probably your equivalent of community college. It gave us a structure to work with- what does she want to finish before then?

FOr her, the focus will be on getting her writing quality as high as possible, as well as focus on modern history and current affairs...as she wants to go into journalism. It puts everything in perspective. For her it meant she was willing to do a writing course in her summer holidays- something she would never have done before.

Can you take your son to some career advisory places, or fill out those questionnaires, or whatever, to help him gain a picture, a sense of drection? Doesn't mean he cant change his mind. It just helps.

A friend of ours has a 16yo son who kept skipping school and she was at her wits end. He came over for a chat with my husband and I, and my husband asked him what he wanted to do. After an hour or so, the kid realised that it was in his own best interests to finish the year at school and get a certificate..and then next year he could go to community college and not have to be in school. But he had to see it for himself.

Have you ever seen the book Teenage Liberation Handbook? It might be helpful.