Encouraging self awareness?

[dsmith]

I would like my son to become more self aware of his needs before they become a cause for a meltdown, etc. Often I find myself asking him if he is hungry, tired, needs to move around, etc. because if I don't stay on top of him, he will not take care of himself, and eventually have a meltdown. I want to encourage more independence and get him to recognize things like hunger and fatigue, bathroom trips, etc, before they become urgent. I was thinking about maybe setting a timer, and having him "self - check" with a list? Any ideas? He is the kind of kid that gets so lost in what he's doing that he is so unaware of his needs. His meltdowns have become more infrequent, although a bit more intense, and he has so many triggers that could be avoided. He really needs to learn how to manage himself, and I would love some ideas to help him. Any book recs would be welcome, as well as ideas.

[sandellie4]

I may be out in left field here, but it might be time to consider involving another person. We have found that when our Aspies get to this point, it's been helpful to take them to a therapist. After "tiptoeing" around a child's meltdowns for years and years, it's hard to then turn around and try to teach that he or she is in charge of the meltdowns, rather than the other way 'round. The therapist takes the role of helper, but is less fazed by the failures and slip-ups, and tends to have higher expectations than we have at home. We just so naturally accommodate the child's behavior, the best that we can.

 

It wouldn't have to be a therapist. I mean, if we didn't have a good one, there's a child behaviorist who goes to our church. I wouldn't hesitate to ask her to take on one of our children or to recommend someone who can be caring, yet firm, in his or her expectations.

 

Again, I could be out in left field, but it's difficult for a family to teach this on their own. The frustration level, and feelings of failure, can be so loud that it's difficult to maintain consistent expectations and responses, KWIM?

 

Hope you hear from others....

 

Sandy