Perry Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 We have always had a household rule that you don't borrow, take, or wear something that isn't yours unless you have asked and been granted permission. Dh and I both find this behavior really, really irritating. Despite the "rule" it keeps happening. We've discussed it many times and it usually gets better for awhile, but then creeps back up. The current problem is the girls wearing each other's clothes. They are great friends and usually get along well, but are at furious at each other over this right now. Have you been able to solve this problem? TIA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 (edited) You've probably done this, but in case not...have a talk with them and help them to decide what clothing can be shared and what clothing is very personal and off limits. Continue the discussion until everything is decided upon, even writing it down and hanging the list on the closets. I think it's ok to have some things that are special to the wearer, but I don't think hoarding or not sharing anything is going to be satisfying to either of them. I'd also try to figure out why are disrespecting each other's personal space. Does one have more opportunity to make money and buy clothing for herself? Is one more organized than another so that she can put outfits together more easily? Is one more creative with clothing and the other one less so? Is there a marked difference in the amount/quality one has over the other? Is there a way to buy multiples of some items, either through thrift store or sales? Can you and the girls put a few outfits together each weekend for the week...(Lol i am laughing at this, thinking how many times I changed outfits in themorning when I was teen). Just throwing it out as a possibiity. There could be nastiness going on, but i wonder if one simply needs more guidance and organization than the other? Can you engage the lesser culprit in helping her sister get her wardrobe more organized, help her put things together? I think getting the girls to work as a team would be more peaceful in the long run, rather than setting up consequences and getting the girls to perhaps work against each other. Edited November 16, 2009 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cera Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 I can see this being an issue in our house at some point. Honestly, if they are both guilty of borrowing without asking I would leave it alone and let them work it out. Just sit them down at the table with paper and pencils and tell them to come let you know what the plan is when they work out how they want to handle it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted November 17, 2009 Share Posted November 17, 2009 The current problem is the girls wearing each other's clothes. Did they both participate in the clothes swapping? One thing I've discovered is that in some cases, it's easier to go to all or nothing: 1) Everything (clothes) gets shared 2) Nothing (clothes) get shared Sometimes arbitrating a system with exceptions gets cumbersome, complicated and wonky. Another reality is that revisiting an issue over and over during the course of parenthood is to be expected. Whatever you decide now on this issue will work for a while; but you'll be saying the same things again soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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