Ever feel bad about homeschooling one of your children?

[Erica in PA]

I have three children: 13 yos, 9 yos, and 7 yod. The oldest and youngest definitely are meant to be homeschooled, for various reasons. But lately, my 9 yos has been talking more and more about how much he'd like to try school, and it makes me feel bad, because quite honestly I think he probably would love it. He is a good student, but right on grade level, so he wouldn't be bored in a third grade classroom. He loves classroom activities, loves being part of the crowd, makes friends really easily. He enjoys learning in general, but doesn't have extreme passions for certain subjects the way my oldest does. He loves being around other kids, but doesn't get consumed by it the way my dd would if she were in school. He's just a perfect fit for traditional school... so when he says very reasonably, like he did yesterday, "When I grow up, I'm going to have my kids try school for one year, and then if they don't like it they can be homeschooled... because I can see how some kids might really like school," it makes me feel like crying! :crying: I feel like I'm keeping him something he would really enjoy.

 

I'm not planning to send him to school, because there is more to the decision than whether or not a child would enjoy it, and ultimately dh and I both believe that homeschooling all three of our children will be best for them in the long run. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else struggles sometimes, especially if you have a child whom you think really would like school, and wouldn't really have any problems there. It's much easier with children whom you know wouldn't like school, or wouldn't do well.

[springmama]

I'm sure my kids would enjoy school so I sign them up for activites....ballet, girl scouts, choir, drama class and as many field trips as we can fit in without losing our minds. That way they have the fun of group activities in a class room type setting but I get to do all of the real teaching at home.

[Earth Yarn]

definitely! We are HSing our DSs but we cannot HS my DSDs because their mom will not allow it because they will miss out on being popular. grrrrr DSD 8yo is dying to HS and LOVES working with us and does so well at home and HATES PS but there are more important things to her mom then education unfortunately. It upsets us and makes us feel badly because we get to give so much to our DSs but the girls get the short end of the stick and there is not a whole lot we can do about it especially only having them every other week. :(

[Erica in PA]

I'm sure my kids would enjoy school so I sign them up for activites....ballet, girl scouts, choir, drama class and as many field trips as we can fit in without losing our minds. That way they have the fun of group activities in a class room type setting but I get to do all of the real teaching at home.

 

We do participate in a weekly, full-day co-op that is very much like a once-a-week school day, and my ds loves that! It's by far his favorite time of the week. That's actually part of why I started thinking about how much he would love to be able to do activities like that every day in school, instead of only once a week. Other than co-op, he has AWANA on Wednesday evenings, and kids' church activities on Sundays. Due to some budget tightening we've had to do in the past year, those are the only activities we can really afford at this point. There is a good boy scouts troop that some of his friends participate in, which is inexpensive... maybe I should look into that.

[Sue G in PA]

I can relate. While the decision to send my 3 oldest back to school wasn't based on their desire to "try" school again, it did factor in. My dd12 wanted to see her friends again and give school a try (she had been bullied as a 3rd grader and we pulled her out after that year). She is a much different person now...much more able to stand up for herself. My ds11 sounds like your ds9...very social, makes friends easily, thrives in groups, loves classroom activites, projects, etc...but I knew that sending him back would probably be permanent b/c to bring him back home would really break his heart and crush his spirit. Ds9 went back b/c, well, we felt he needed to "branch out" more socially. Very friendly child, but never really had a friend of his own. He didn't want to go back, but now he loves it. He made one friend in our neighborhood and they are inseparable now. I don't think I could ever pull him back home at this point. I feel your pain...except we DID send them back. And now, I feel there is no turning back for my boys. I feel like I've lost them and it makes me want to cry whenever I think about it. Dd12 could come back home...she has said she doesn't hate school, but doesn't love it. She can't stand the stuff the girls talk about (boys, dating, kissing, who's hot, who's not, cursing, etc.). She isn't being challenged. And we will most probably pull her out after Christmas break. Not to mention I have sign. issues with the school and the policies. :glare: So, I do feel for you. But, stay strong in your reason why you are doing this. There are plenty of opportunities to make friends and be social outside of school.

[Erica in PA]

When homeschooling became a worse option for dd than traditional school I put her in school. It was/is one of the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I certainly am not recommending it, but yes, I think some kids are better off in school and certainly there are many more who might not be better off, but would love it.

 

It is one of those hard things of parenthood that we have to do what is best for the kids, not just what they would like.

 

Maybe a co-op would help him?

 

May I ask what made homeschooling a worse option for your dd than traditional school? For my son, I think he might be in the latter group you mentioned, where he might not necessarily be *better* off, but would love it.

 

And yes, we do have a weekly co-op that he absolutely loves! I just wish it could be a couple more days a week for him.

[Erica in PA]

My ds11 sounds like your ds9...very social, makes friends easily, thrives in groups, loves classroom activites, projects, etc...but I knew that sending him back would probably be permanent b/c to bring him back home would really break his heart and crush his spirit.

 

Yes, this is exactly like my ds, and that is one of the reasons why I don't think we will send him to school any time soon. While he's okay with homeschooling now, I really can't see him ever wanting to come back home if he ever started school. Like you said, I think that would crush his spirit. So unless we actually believe that school would be the very best thing for him, I just don't want to give him a taste of it.

[Tree House Academy]

I was the opposite...I felt bad homeschooling my younger while my older went to public school for a year. My older is a lot like you describe your son to be...but he has ADHD and a "mouth" that gets him in a lot of trouble. Seeing him struggle in the ps setting behavior wise made me long to bring him home. I also felt like I was giving his (half) brother so much more than I was giving him. If you are wondering why he was in ps, his dad and I are divorced and I couldn't homeschool until his dad agreed to it.